Dancing Around *sakuatsu*

It all started a day of practice, when Hinata came in more buoyant than normal, raising many eyebrows, and theories of why the sun was more radiant than ever, many, if not all, believed it was due to something related to the Adlers’ setter, but they weren’t so far from hitting, at the end of the training, all being reunited, being a miracle that Sakusa hadn’t disappeared from the place still. “Guys! I have something to tell you!” he shouted calling everyone's attention in the lockers, he went to his backpack and took something out of there, placing it on his fingers, a ring, everyone looked at him in surprise, letting out an abrupt gasp. “I’m getting married!” The entire room was filled with shouts, and whistles, celebrating and congratulating Hinata, a total mess lost in the celebration, but something was missing near the auctioneer, or so Sakusa felt, he slowly examined the room before approaching, soon, he spotted him, Atsumu was frozen on the bench next to the redhead while everyone was celebrating and cheering. “Tsum Tsum! Didn’t you hear what Hinata just said !?” Bokuto asked the blond, shaking him by the shoulders, so excited that he seems about to explode. “Tsum Tsum?” “Sorry, Bokkun, apparently today I went a bit too far, I'm a bit dizzy.” He gave a soft laugh, something uncomfortable, kind of awkward. Atsumu ran a hand through his hair messing it more, making a few drops of sweat fall down to his face, and down to his tanned skin, Sakusa's eyes betrayed him, and they did not hesitate to follow those two drops of sweat down through his teammate’s skin until it got lost under his shirt. “Oh, do you need me to take you to the infirmary?” “No, I'm fine, I'll take a shower and go home to rest, that's all.” he drew a smile, but Sakusa knew him more than he wanted to admit, something was bothering him, and that smile, despite everyone not noticing it, was a sad, bitter, bittersweet smile, full of feeling that may be shattering his heart. "Does it bother you if I go with you, Miya?" Kiyoomi dared to say, both, Bokuto and Atsumu, looked at him and blinked in disbelief at his question. “Just for safety, if you are so exhausted you can pass out or have an accident, that could affect the team.” He hastened to say, he did not want them to misunderstand things, although, would it be a misunderstanding? All those months in which he couldn't sleep well because Atsumu lingered in his thoughts until late at night, gave him the answer- no. “Ohoho, worried about me, Omi?” Atsumu asked playfully, Sakusa just rolled his eyes and snorted. “Just hurry up, I'll be outside,” Kiyoomi said coming out of the lockers, but not before congratulating Hinata. It was cold, despite not being winter, the temperature was low, and the sky was cloudy, a melancholic day, a sad day, a day of broken hearts, he knew it very well, Atsumu Miya was in love with Hinata Shouyo, and he, Sakusa Kiyoomi, had fallen in love with the blond even knowing this. He did not know when it was that everything had started, only that one day he began to admire how the arms of the shortest flexed when he sets or how his abs were soaked with sweat when he pulled up his shirt, taking all his breath away. Kiyoomi did not know when he also started smiling slightly behind that mask when she heard Atsumu laugh, or how much it cost him not to laugh at his terrible jokes. But he had to be honest with himself, Atsumu would never look at him the way he sees Hinata; he is all serious, dark, apathetic, with horrible social skills and the opposite of the shining sun that Shouyo was, even so... Late at night, or early in the morning, when he couldn’t sleep, his heart will pound after dreaming that the setter was looking at him with that tenderness and love that abounded in his eyes as he admired the redheaded when he spikes, speaks or exists in general. He let out a little air gently, closing his eyes with longing towards the sky, as if it was going to fulfill his deepest and secret desire. “Omi-Kun, I thought you were gone.” he heard that melodious and at the same time irritating voice, which causes the insomniac of the spiker. “I told you that I would accompany you,” he said without turning to see him, setting his eyes on the grayish sky. “I didn't think you were serious.” Sakusa turned to see him, expressionless, with his black eyes piercing that damn fake smile. “Atsumu.” He let out that name that he had forbidden himself to call the other. The named tilted his head, waiting for him to say something. “I know you're not tired, or dizzy ... And I know that you're sad because of Hinata, so ... Stop smiling in that false way, it makes me sick.” Atsumu's smile fell suddenly, and he just stood looking up and down at Sakusa's face. “How did you know?” he asked softly, with a strangled voice. "You don't have to be observant to know it, Miya ..." He turned around completely to see him, his hands in his sweatshirt bags, looking intensely at Atsumu, making him feel so small, helpless and weak. “I am not good with words, nor with people in general, but you do not have to suffer in silence ... I am willing to help you, or at least listen to you.” “What if I cry with snot and everything? You’re not gonna be disgusted?” “From afar, I still could help by listening to you” Sakusa mumbles, Atsumu gave him a small soft smile, and took a few steps closer. “Omi-Kun, if I'm honest I don't know how much more I can bear it,” he said with a broken voice, and Kiyoomi understood that it was the signal to get out of there. They walked in silence, so silent that Sakusa began to fear that Atsumu would hear how strong his heart was pounding for just walking beside him, it got worse when the desire to take the setter's calloused hand invaded him, along with his anxiety telling him to not touch him and germs, all the way to get to the blonde's house. “Do you want ... to come in? Uhm ... Today, before I went to practice, I cleaned.” He bit his lip immediately almost slaughtering it, and Sakusa locked his eyes in that action, wishing he could do the same with it. “Sure...” he answered with a nod. Awkwardly, Atsumu managed to open the door for them to enter, closing the door behind them, the house in question was cleaner than Kiyoomi expected, tidy and with not many things. “Get comfortable, do you want something to drink ...?” “Miya.” His hand had moved instinctively, taking the other by the sleeve of his jacket. “It is not necessary.” He said withdrawing his hand as if it were burning, and looking away from those caramel eyes that he liked so much. “If I’m being honest, I don't know where to start, Omi-Kun, I feel like I’m still in shock, and at the same time like I’m breaking, slowly.” His gaze fell to the ground, relaxing his muscles. Sakusa pulled him to the couch near them, seating him carefully on it. “It's not that I'm not happy for him” “Hey...” Sakusa sat next to him, close to him, his anxiety could go to hell right now. “I just wish that were me.” Atsumu buried his face in his hands, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes, he let out a sob, and Sakusa's heart broke, he knew what would happen, to see the boy of his dreams cry for someone that he could never be. It was going to break him inside, but he had to be strong, for him. “I feel terrible.” “Don’t worry, I'm here” Kiyoomi mumbled, leaning a little against Atsumu's back, brushing the fabric of the mask against the other. For the first time in his life his anxiety didn't matter, no matter if his brain was giving him red warnings about the closeness of his teammate, seeing Atsumu that way squeezed his heart, inside he was a disaster, although outside look so calm. That night, after leaving Atsumu resting, he found himself in the comfort and loneliness of his house, only then Sakusa took off his mask, not only the cloth one, but the one he had to put on for just a few hours ago, when he saw as the person he love broken before his eyes, as once again the world stressed that he could never be the person that Atsumu wanted, he was not even half of it. That night, Sakusa broke, crying himself to sleep holding himself, feeling so lonely and empty in what should be his home, but now his home is Atsumu, and he could never go home, because it belonged to someone else.