9. A Horrible Friend
1080 Words
“Bree! Helloooo??”
“Hmm… what?”
Lilia throws a pink plush bunny at me.
“I asked what you’ve been up to!” she exclaims, amused. “You’re not contagious are you?”
“What? Why would I be contagious?” I question her odd sentiment.
“Because… you’re sick?” she reminds me.
“OH! No… I don’t think I’m contagious.” I say “but why would you be in here if I am?”
“If I get sick, we will just be sick together, duh!” she says cheekily.
This is why I love her. I’ve missed her incredibly.
“No offense Bree but you look like crap.”
I still love her.
“It’s just a stomach thing,” I say.
I instinctively start fidgeting with the ears of the pink-stuffed animal I am now holding, a gift from Lilia from my birthday last month.
“Well you must have been sick a while because you literally look like death,” Lilia points out. “I didn’t think you could get any skinnier. I should have brought you some of the sponge cake my grandmother made.”
Ugh. I hate but simultaneously love that she never shies away from telling me what she is thinking.
“It’s okay,” I say. “I doubt I could stomach it right now anyways.”
“Well is there anything you think you can eat? Mom offered to bring over some udon if you would like?”
I normally would jump at every opportunity for Mrs. Duncan’s cooking, but honestly I haven’t had much of an appetite.
“Umm, no I don’t want her to go through any trouble.”
“It wouldn’t be though. She already planned to make it for dinner and you know she always makes plenty.”
I wish she wouldn't insist.
“Okay, sure, if it’s no trouble.”
“Bree, is there anything you’re not telling me?”
“Huh? no, of course not”
“You sure? I mean… I thought you would be happy to see me.”
“Lilia! I am happy. I promise! I…” ugh. I have never lied to her before. “I probably just need another day of rest. Tomorrow I’ll be in a better mood. I swear.”
“Well maybe I could sleep over tonight?”
I have been counting the days Lilia would be home, but now that she is here, I just want to be alone.
“You should probably not risk it.” I couldn’t bare to look at her now.
“Oh. Right. Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She sounds disappointed.
“See you,” is all I could say. I laid down on my bed and faced the wall away from her and the door.
I could feel her hesitation, but it is soon followed by the sounds of her retreating footsteps.
I feel horrible. I know I hurt her feelings. I’m so angry at myself for it. She didn’t deserve my hostility.
I’m a horrible person. A horrible friend.
* * *
Lilia didn’t return the next day. I know I can just go to her, but there is an invisible wall I can’t seem to get around. My stomach feels pangs of hunger but I’m not in the mood for food.
Haru dropped off some udon from Mrs. Duncan but it has been sitting on my nightstand all night.
I hear a light knock on the door.
“Honey-Bree?” I hear a gentle male voice.
I don’t know what it was about his voice but I try my hardest to resist the tears forming behind my eyes.
A little more knocking.
“Honey? I wish you wouldn’t lock the door. I know you want privacy but I would love to be able to check up on you.”
My voice is caught up in my throat. Dad got home about an hour ago and attempted to see me then but I pretended to sleep.
“Bree, you know I have a key? I hope you’re decent because I’m worried,” he sighs. “This is just a warning because I’m coming in…”
I hear the key in the lock and it turns. The sound of the lock unlatching makes me feel like my exterior shield is about to crack.
“Bree?” he whispers. “Bree are you sleeping?”
I don’t move praying that he leaves quickly.
I feel the bed slump slightly as he sits on the edge of the bed behind me. And then I feel his gentle caress on my back.
I don’t want to give myself away but I can feel myself about to break.
I pretend to stir to move away from his hand.
“Bree, I don’t want to wake you,” he says gently, “but I need you to turn to me if you can.”
Please… I beg internally. Please, I can’t.
“Brianna, come on,” I hear him plea. He rarely uses my full name. “Please? Please try.”
I inhale deeply, I can no longer ignore him. I turn over but I don’t dare look him in the eyes.
“Hey sleepy-head,” I can feel his smile at the sight of me. “You okay?”
I wish everyone would stop asking me that.
I nod and muster my strength to utter some words.
“Just really tired.”
“I can see that,” he says, “I can also see you haven’t eaten.”
I can hear the worry etched in his voice. He moves closer and reaches to touch my head.
I know he’s searching for my temperature, which I know isn’t above normal, but my body warms instantly at his touch.
“You don’t feel like you have a fever,” he states, “Do we need to go to the hospital to get you checked out?”
“NO!” I exclaim, “Dad I’m fine, I don’t need to see a doctor.”
He’s a little taken aback.
“Bree I don’t understand,” he looks exasperated, “What do you need?”
To be alone.
“Nothing dad.”
There’s a few minutes of silence, I still can’t look at him.
I feel his hand reach for mine, and I involuntarily tense up.
“Bree talk to me,” he says. “I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”
I can hear his voice break a little.
I feel a bit of guilt over him worrying about me.
I take a big breath and manage to look at him.
“Dad, I-” I try to form the words but there’s a lump forming in my throat. “I-”
I break.
Tears are coming in streams down my face.
“Oh honey!”
In a split second I can feel his arms around me, holding me securely, as if he already knew I needed this. I can’t pretend with him.
We stay in this embrace for as long it takes me to find a normal breathing rhythm. He gently rocks me.
“Bree…” he gently caresses the back of my head as my face is buried in his chest. “I don’t know what’s going on… but I am here for you.”
There’s an internal fight going on inside of me. On one hand I want to tell him what happened, but then another side of me says that I mustn't.
“I just really missed you,” I managed.
- Writer
