Bullet To The Heart

Mornings Like Heaven

Mornings Like Heaven"Randy!" Elliot shot upright- his heart beating abnormally fast and his skin slick with sweat.

Randy was up next to him in a heartbeat- wrapping his thin arms around Elliot as he stared at the opposite wall in shock, "It's okay baby- I'm right here- shh" Randy tried to calm him, but his breathing only became more erratic.

Elliot lifted his good arm up to grasp onto one of Randy’s wrists. Hot tears fell from his eyes and onto Randy’s skin- the sweat heated Randy’s skin and Elliot’s chest rose and fell far too quickly for his liking, "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Night terror" Elliot breathed out- gasping for air as we sat in the dead of night. These happened every so often- his mind would be slammed back into the dirt of Iraq and he would wake with a start- scaring both men.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Randy asked- already knowing the answer.

"No" he pleaded, "Randy- please- just hold me...please"

"Of course, honey- come here- lay down with me"

Randy slid back and opened his arms for Elliot to bury himself in his chest. His head hid next to Randy’s neck and his wet cheeks made the farmer’s heart throb. Elliot’s arms grasped at Randy’s shirt and he held him closely.

"You're okay Elliot- you're home- in our bed with me- it's going to be alright- I promise you"

"I feel so weak Randy- I should be the one caring for you- you're still so skinny and I know how hard it is for you to look after me and keep yourself straight"

"I'm not straight Elliot" Randy said, "I'm very gay- hence why I am in bed with you"

Elliot groaned but slid his stump between Randy’s legs- he was determined to connect every part of their bodies.

"I'm okay Elliot- you being here is enough to keep me happy- and I like taking care of you- it takes my mind off the drugs and the drinks- it's okay that you wake up screaming- or roll into the living room crying" Randy kissed his ear lovingly and stroked over his hair- which was growing back thickly, "I love you- that's all the matters"

Elliot didn't answer and that was okay- he didn't need to. The way he sniffled into Randy’s clavicle and tightened his fingers around the fabric of the shirt was enough for Randy. Randy was telling the truth- the only thing that mattered to him was Elliot being in his arms- where Randy could watch him and take care of him.

--

The morning came far too quickly for Randy’s liking. By his third month home, Elliot and Randy had gotten into a good routine. Randy got up earlier than him and made breakfast- then helped him into his chair- or if he was feeling brave, helped him put on his prosthetic and make sure he didn't tumble over on his crutches.

From there Sandy came to help him while Randy worked- when Randy got home he helped Elliot in the shower and he did his physical therapy while Randy fixed dinner.

So now Randy tried his best to slide from Elliot’s grasp without waking him. Randy succeeded with a bit of shushing when he stirred. Randy padded his way to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee- Elliot had a physical therapist coming over to work with him while he was wearing his shitty plastic Lego thing. Randy asked Elliot if he wanted Randy to stay but he said he would be alright- Randy was due to fix the loft of the barn anyway.

Randy cooked three scrambled eggs- two for Elliot since he needed the protein to help regain his muscle mass- and one for himself because he was still trying to gain weight again. Randy never once thought he would be trying to gain weight- it felt odd to him, but he guessed that's the life of a recovering drug addict.

When 8 AM rolled around Randy strode back into the bedroom and slid into bed with Elliot- who was hugging his pillow for dear life.

"Baby" Randy kissed Elliot’s temple gingerly, "it's time to get up so you can have breakfast.

He groaned, and his eyelashes fluttered- telling Randy he was awake but being stubborn. Randy smiled- not being about to help the grin the spread across his face as he looked at the man he loved.

"C'mon sleepy head- you want to get walking again don't yah?" Randy teased, and he hissed- knowing Randy was right.

Elliot made Randy a promise that he was not only going to be walking at the wedding, but dancing and carrying the younger around. Randy was only really a bother to remind him of his own goals.

Elliot opened his eyes and looked at Randy. Randy’s breath immediately caught in his throat. Elliot’s dark eyes barreled into Randy and he swooned. No matter how many mornings Randy woke up next to him, he was convinced Elliot’s freshly woken up state will always cause his blood to rush. His short choppy hair was splayed out in every single direction and his tan complexion radiated against the couples pale-yellow sheets.

"I wish I had a camera right now" Randy whispered, and a huge smile broke out on Elliot’s face- he was grinning like an i***t- Randy loved it.

He pushed himself up on his good arm and flopped forwards on his face- he groaned painfully, and Randy snickered sadly. Randy picked up his head and pressed a light kiss to Elliot’s lips- he pushed forwards and Randy savored the taste that was only ELLIOT.

"C'mon monkey- let's have breakfast" Randy smiled, and he nodded, "prosthetic or wheelchair?" Randy asked.

"Prosthetic" Elliot heaved himself over on his butt and Randy walked over next to their chest of drawers and grabbed the slick black prosthetic and the "sock" Elliot wore under it.

Elliot insisted on doing it himself, but Randy knew he couldn't- with his hand still only half working- he didn't have the strength to situate it properly.

"Let me help Ellie- I mean – I'm going to be your husband- let me take care of you"