Insecurities Within

Chapter 3

                Jumping out of the shower Jacques looked at herself inner small floor length mirror. She couldn't help but compare herself to Jessica was she missing something?

        She thought, why do women do this to themselves compare and belittle each other over their body image and their ideal body image. Jacques thought she had accepted herself, but as she stared at her smooth brown sugar colored skin and ran her hands over her extra "baggage" she realized she had only accepted herself because she had mark. Now she just felt self conscious she had big breasts 42DD's to be exact which hid her little pudgy stomach. She had tried working it off multiple times only to gain it back because she loved food and couldn't stay away from it. Mark had said that's what he loved about her, maybe he was lying she thought. She didn't have much of an ass, Jacques definitely considered herself a part of the "little booty" club which gave her in her opinion an acceptable shape. Her hair stayed cut short simply because it was easier for Jacques to manage plus if she ever got in any fights her hair couldn't easily be pulled. After almost crying trying to untangle her curls that she decided to wet while in the shower, Jacques decided to put her hair in a clean bun. After that was finished she hurriedly brushed her teeth, and ran to her closet staring the clock down. She noticed that she only used 10 minutes doing things that normally would have took her 35 minutes to complete. She knew she didn't have much time leftover and grabbed the nearest dress she could find since it was still warm out, in the middle of August her town was always hot and humid, her bustling town was always busy at 6am. Parents were rushing their children off to school, and trying their best to speed off to work and not be the last person walking through the doors. The dress was simple enough it was cream colored with soft fall oranges and browns and had a floral design that paired perfectly with her favorite cream sandals. Jacques looked in the mirror at her soft baby-faced features she had a wide nose in the middle of her face that led up to her big round doe-like eyes. She thought her eyes were her best feature, so she quickly but skillfully applied a thin line across both of her eyelids. She loved her eyes, jacques couldn't stop staring at them. She then looked at her full lips which sometimes made jacques think she had resting b*tch face syndrome. She thought maybe I'll add a little color today and quickly lined her lips with her favorite red matte lipstick, and rubbed the rest in with her lips to give her a more soft red hue rather than a brazen red. Once she was satisfied with her work she quickly threw her books in her bag, grabbed her purse and bolted down the stair. She breathed a sigh of relief seeing that she had only used 16 minutes and still had at least 14 to grab a plate of the food her mom had made. 

Jacques made her way through the small home her mother had worked so hard to provide for them and wanted to just lay on what had become her favorite couch. Instead she sat her purse and bag down and opted to keep going past the living room and dining room and into the kitchen, where jacques immediately grabbed a paper plate out of the cabinet. She stopped at the stove and drooled for a bit looking at the sausage and bacon, eggs with cheese, blueberry bagels, blueberries, strawberries, and cream cheese spread her mom had waiting. Jacques could also smell the blueberry coffee she had told her mom about brewing in the coffee maker. 

Jacques thought, "Oh God, my mother is a godsend". How anyone could work 50+ hours at a hospital a week as a nurse, and still have time to throw parties, and cook and clean was beyond Jacques. Her mother somehow always did it so she knew people could do it, but just not jacques. She had a habit of doing that, putting herself down. She filled her plate, grabbed a travel thermal, and sat down to scarf her food down before nearly burning her tongue off trying to sip her coffee. Jacques thought about tonight and knew it would cheer her up. She would be going on one of her favorite chat sites to talk to her now favorite person since the whole thing with mark. 

Jacques tried not to bother her mother with her trivial relationship issues, but her mother always seemed to know when stuff happened, so jacques wasn't surprised when her mother started in on her that morning with only 8 minutes left for them to leave the house. Lasand was gorgeous and jacques could see where she got her looks from, but for some reason jacques never thought she was as pretty as her mother. 

I know that boy does not have you moping around here girl, Lasand asked her daughter. 

"No, he doesn't, besides what was there to be moping over" jacques stated trying to save face. Lasand knew her daughter and replied, "Your right, what is there to be moping over, grab your stuff and let's go". 

Jacques loved her mom but why does she always do that. Jacques knew her mom was right but she still felt tied to mark. I mean he did introduce me to the world of anime.