The sad story of the babysitter

Chapter eighteen - It was all a lie

Lily's POV:

Sometimes I feel like life is playing with me. Yesterday I went out with Ryder and the girls. While they were playing in the park, he used the chance to kiss me. This is my second kiss with him. I think that I am falling for him. I won't tell him anything, because I don't want to give him high hopes. Things have changed. Now he is not the bad boy, which he used to be. Ryder is kind, nice, and caring. I like this side of him. I hope that he will keep it. 

I woke up and get dressed. Since I was happy, something, which doesn't happen very often, I decide to dress a little bit better. I put on some tight blue jeans, a shirt that says "Be yourself" and my favorite sneakers. I let my hair down and just brushed it. 

When I walked downstairs for breakfast, I saw a note. It said that my parents have early work to do and that if I want to eat, I will be alone. I made some toasts and ate them. After that, I walked to school. 

I walked in and went to get my books for my first class. I have literature. We had to read one romance novel again. This time I didn't complain about it. Actually, I enjoyed reading it. Maybe because these things slowly are happening with me. I mean, I didn't like Ryder at all and now I fall for him. I thought that after Lizzy I won't be able to love anyone else because she was my only friend. I love her so much and I am glad to have a sister like her, no matter that she isn't alive. 

Later I was in the hall when I saw Ryder with his friends. He looked at me and gave me a wink. I return with a smile. He was about to come when someone came in front of him. I laughed to myself. I guess that this boy really wanted to talk with him. Poor Ryder. Yesterday he waited all day for a kiss and now will do the same, but for a small talk. 

When he was finally free, the bell started ringing and I had to go to my next class. Maybe during the next break, we can talk. I received a message, which was from him. 

I wanted to say that you look pretty, but I didn't have the chance to say it personally. 

I smile to myself and reply. 

It's ok. I saw that you were busy. 

After this class, I walked downstairs. It was on the second floor. I was about to walk to my locker when I saw on the stairs Alex, Mason, and Ryder. What caught my attention was the question of Alex. I know that it's not polite to listen to other people's conversations, but I was curious.

- What is going on with you and Lily? - Alex asked

- Nothing. We are just friends or that's what I hope so.  Ryder said

- There is something. I see the smile. 

- Maybe I have kissed her, but that's it. 

- And you are telling us now? - Mason said

- It's not a big deal. - Ryder said

- Yes, it is. Do you like her? Be honest. 

- Don't you two have something else to do?

- You didn't answer. - Mason said

- Fine. I like her, ok? Are you happy now?

- I am. Moreover, it was obvious. 

With that, I smile to myself. Very soon, my smile fade when I heard Alex's question. 

- So when will you dump her? - Alex asked

- Dump who? - Ryder asked as well

- Lily, who else?

- And why he has to do it? - Mason asked

- Don't tell me that you forgot?

- I don't know what are you talking about. 

- It can't be real. It's all a game, remember? You wanted to be nice so you can get her. Now she is yours. To ask you again. When will you dump her?

Tell me that this is not true. This can't be real. Did he really was pretending the whole time? 

- Yeah, about that. I changed my mind. I won't dump her. 

- Why not? You two are too different. I am sure that you won't last. - Alex said and chuckled

- Don't talk like that. What if they last? - Mason asked

- Man, I won't dump her. Yes, I wanted to, but now I don't. 

- Don't tell me that you actually fall for her? - Alex asked

- I don't know, but I feel bad to do it. 

- Nobody said that you have to do it now, but everybody knows that you can't be with only one girl. 

- I know, but thanks for reminding me, Alex. Maybe I'll do it. I am not sure about this. 

- Don't do it. Lily doesn't deserve it. - Mason said

- C'mon she is a loser. I mean that with all of this that is going on around her, nobody is safe. - Alex laughed

- That was cruel. Lily is not guilty of what has happened to her. - Ryder said

- Maybe, but now tell me. How will you dump her? 

- Why do you want so much Ryder to dump her? Do you want her?

- She is the last on my list and I don't even have one. 

- But she is there, no matter in which place. 

- I haven't decided yet. I need to think. Maybe over a text will be ok, because I know that she will be mad at me, but at the same time, I don't want to do it. I don't want to leave her alone again. - Ryder said

I felt how my heart broke in two. Does he really want to dump me? How could I be so stupid? I trusted him and all this time he was pretending? I slowly walked down and met Mason's eyes. 

- Just tell her "we are done" and that's it. You don't need to think so much.

- Um, guys... - Mason said

- I don't know. It's not that easy. Don't forget that she trusts me. 

- Guys... - Mason said

- Not now. Listen do what you always do and stop caring so much about what she will say or think.

- GUYS! - Mason raised his voice

With that, both of them looked at me. I looked at Ryder with tears in my eyes. I can't believe it. I told him everything. He didn't even care about me. I want to slap him, but I won't do it. This won't resolve the situation. I knew that I shouldn't trust him completely, but for some reason I did it and this is what I got for that. Great job Lily. 

I was about to walk away, but Ryder grabbed my hand. 

- Lily, listen to me. It's not what it looks like. 

- Oh, really? So you didn't want to use me and then leave?

He didn't say anything. I shook my head and walked away. 

- I did, but it was only at the beginning. Everything changed. Me too. Please trust me. 

- How I am supposed to? All you do is lie and I was stupid to tell you everything. 

- Lily, please, you have to believe me. 

- The kiss was part of your game too, right?

- No, I actually meant it. You have to listen to me. I will explain everything. 

- I thought... I actually thought... - I said with tears in my eyes

- Lily, you have to listen to me. 

- I fall for you or to say for the good boy. He is not even real. 

- He is here and he won't hurt you. Please, Lily. I want you to trust me.  

- I don't want to listen to your lies anymore. 

- But Lily...

- STAY AWAY FROM ME! - I said and left

I walked into the girls' bathroom and locked myself in one of the cabins. With that, I broke down. How can I be so stupid? I trusted him and he was only playing me. It's not his fault, it's mine. Nobody made me trust him. I did it at my own risk. I knew that people like him don't change just like that, but I decide to believe him. I gave him a chance and this is how he used it. 

After school, I went home to change. I texted miss Collins, saying that I want to talk with her. She said that around 4 pm I could come. She will be at home. I went into the bathroom for a shower. In the moment the water hit me, tears came into my eyes. Ryder hurt me a lot. 

I grabbed what I needed and walked out. I knocked on the door and miss Collins opened it.

- Hey Lily, come in. 

- Thanks. 

Both of us went into the kitchen. I don't know what she is cooking, but it smells delicious. 

- For what do you want us to talk about?

- I want to tell you, that for some time I won't be able to work here. 

- But why? Did something happen?

- It's a little bit personal, but it's nothing about you or the girls. Let's say that it's a family problem. 

- It's sad to hear it, but I hope that everything will be ok. 

- Me too. Can I see the girls before I leave?

- Sure. They are in their room. 

I smiled and walked upstairs. When I walked in, I saw the girls playing a game. They looked at me and gave me a hug. I sat on the bed and looked at them. 

- Will you play with us? - Lea asked

- No, I have to tell you something.

- Ok, what is it? - Lea asked

- I won't come here for some time. Your mom probably will find a new babysitter. 

- But we don't want new. We want you. - Mia said

- I know that this is hard for you and me too, but it won't be forever. I just need some time. 

- That's so unfair. 

- Hey, I love you so much. Soon I will be back. I promise you. 

- We love you too. - the girls said in sync and snuggled in me

I felt tears in my eyes. I don't want to leave them, but I don't want to be around Ryder. I am sure that he will try to explain how everything has changed and that he is different. I never thought that I would love someone so much like I love Lizzy, but I was wrong. These two girls mean a lot to me. They are like my little sisters and I will miss them so much.

I kissed the top of their heads and walked back down. With that, Ryder walked in. Great, just great. 

- Lily, listen to me. Let me explain everything. Then you can say whatever you want. 

- Ryder, I don't want to listen to anything. I am tired of listening to your lies. 

Miss Collins walked in as well. Please tell me that she didn't hear that. If she did, she'll understand that I lied to her. 

- I didn't mean to hurt you. 

- But you did it. 

- And I am sorry for that. Yes, it started as a game, but after I heard your story, I changed. I decide to don't do it because you were already hurt. You have to believe me. 

- You always knew what type of person I was, even when you didn't know my story, but you still did it. You used me and I will never forgive you for that.  

- Please Lily. Trust me. 

- It's too late for that. 

I walked to the front door, but before I could open it, Ryder grabbed my hand and made me look at him. 

- Please, don't go. I won't do anything to you. I promise. 

- I'm sorry, but I can't trust you anymore. If you really wanted me, you should've thought before you do it. 

With that, I opened the door and left. Tears started to fall down. That's why I prefer to be alone. You don't know who you can trust. I did it and this is what happened. I feel the same way as when Lizzy died. The worst thing is that there is still a part of me, which loves him. No matter that the good boy has never been excited, I still love him and this is what hurts the most. I fall for a person who wasn't even real. This is how stupid I am.