PANIC OF ADULTHOOD

And when she see children playing around and having fun then I remembered she grew too fast. "I wish time could have mercy on me and take everything backwards, maybe then I'd be fine" she said sorrowfully. She wished she could be young again and go to the play ground and make new reasonable friends and eat whatever she asked for and sleep without worries but those days are no longer available, time has taken hold of the whole childhood happiness and kept them for someone else. Little by little, step by step, moment by moment, days, weeks, months and years. she's all alone with adulthood, clocking 30 this year, going to bed with little or no food, trying each day to make all ends meet, seeking for the peace and genuine happiness she lost many years ago. She caught up with adulthood and nothing could be done. she remembered her youthful years of immorality. How she spent all her money on material things she's unable to boast of. The times she spent outside her home with friends who ran away during their youthful age leaving her to face reality. Now, she all alone to her fate wishing to be a child again. She gave excuses when men came to seek for her hand in marriage. she wasn't ready to be a wife or to share a home with someone else. she wanted to squander her youthful life and money on what pleases her. "My daughter" her mother would say "All these won't lead you anywhere. You don't have much time. stand and make a name for yourself". Bang!! That was the next sound you'd hear on the door after every word from her mom. Her dad was like a devil to her because he was bent on changing her life for the better but what can one do if your daughter is far stronger than you are? The poor old man would sit under a tree and sing and talk in parables but her ears where afar off. Now she's in panic, crying every now and then, searching for peace that she never created from the beginning. Now she struggles to make all ends meet, to satisfy the primary things she needs. But it seemed no matter how hard she pushes, the door shuts back. she realized life toils with the lazy and ungrateful ones. "I wish I had been so serious with my life". She wished for a change or back -in- time and a miracle could just happen but no, things don't work that way. When you live, you live and carry along all you have. She was blinded by what she saw and she never knew she would grow so fast. She felt the world deceived her, her friends and closed ones left her behind. Her parents were the only options she had then but she wanted to enjoy the serene of YOUTHFULNESS and forgot about the future. Now, no plans yet, no husband and no house to call a home.