Loving The Bad

Flashback 7 years ago... Kaitlyn "Watch it you fat f**k," I heard Joshua say as he slammed me against my locker. I hear the laughter of the crowd behind me and most importantly, the giggles of Lyndzy. "such a waste of space," I hear her mutter. Fuck this school and f**k this life.  I quickly get up from the ground and pick up my books from the floor and head to my next class. If you're wondering, Lyndzy and i use to be best friends. We played basketball together up till high school. But she was caught up in her popularity to even acknowledge me anymore. Or maybe I was just an embarrassment to her. Just like I am to everyone else. "Kaitlyn, you good?" Tyson, my best friend asks while running up to me. "Never better," I mutter and he sighs. "I'm sorry, I had to talk to my English teacher. She wants me to Tutor or some girl in that class." He says while walking with me to our next class. Tyson was my only friend and my first crush and still is up to this day. We've been best friends since the first grade and to be honest, I don't know what I'd do without him. "What girl?" I ask and he shrugs. "I think It's Lyndzy because I heard she's failing, terribly." He laughs out and I laugh with him. "But I don't wanna disrespect you like that if I am tutoring her. I know us three used to be good friends but since we're not, I don't know if I should." He sighs. "It's fine. Don't worry bout me. You do you." I conclude as I got to my last class. I go all the way to the back (per usual) while I get usual glares from everyone. "Kaitlyn, your late. Have a seat." Mrs. Giberson says and I quickly nod while finding my seat. While Mrs. Giberson continued her lesson, there was a paper tossed to me by the person sitting in front of me. I grab the crumpled paper and unfolded it. It was a stick figure of a girl (which I'm guessing is me) and the words written 'KILL YOURSELF'  It's not the first time I've ever gotten hate notes like this and certainly not the last but now, it just gets harder and harder to deal with every day. I hear the snickers from my classmates which disrupts me from my thoughts. I look around them and see them staring no, laughing at me.   "Kaitlyn! Not only do you show up late to my class but you distract my students from learning?" She yells and the whole class falls dead silent. "I-I didn't mean to, I just-" "What is that in your hand?" She asks while walking toward my desk. She grabs the paper from my hands before I tried to hide it. Her whole expression changed while she gave me an apologetic look. "Who did this?" She asked while holding the drawing up high but no one answered, "So you guys can confidentially tell someone to kill themselves on paper but will still hide behind the paper." She laughs out and the whole class is still silent. "Hey, take this to the office. I'll report this as soon as possible-" "No, it's fine. I'm used to it." I respond quietly and she sighs. "Stay behind after class ends." She didn't even give me time to respond. "Because of this incident, we will continue this class by writing a pop quiz." The whole class groan and I earned more glares from people. Yay me. After class ended, I stayed behind like Mrs. Giberson asked me to.  "Kaitlyn," She started off concerned, "How long has this...issue been going on?" I could tell she could not find the right words to say. "Longer than you think, so if you'll excuse me," I say while getting up but she stops me. "Can you at least give me the name of the person who started this? It's not the first time I've seen notes like these about you." She confirms and I sigh, "Joshua Richards. He's always the one starting these." I look at the note in her hand and she nods. "Just know that if you need to talk..." "Yea, thank you." She gives me a forced smile while I walk out of the class. Time to go home. Finally. As I step outside the school, I felt something collide with me causing me to trip and fall. "You f*****g b***h!" I hear a familiar voice call out. "You f*****g got me suspended! You could've gotten me expelled!" He yells and I try to get up. "You almost cost me my f*****g scholarship." "I'm sorry." I croak out with a sob but he doesn't care. "You better be. You should be the one getting a 20-day suspension, not me. You're the one that's a f*****g waste of space!" "I never did anything to you, I never deserved what you did to me." "Awe, finally, the elephant stands up for herself." He chuckles and I felt a pang to my chest. Elephant That's a new one. "Whatever," I try and get up from the ground and he laughs out loud. "Maybe you really should do everyone a favour and kill yourself." He spits out and walks away. maybe I should.