Taste of Poison

Kabanata 16

Line

"It will be released tomorrow," si Mama Astrid.

Natigil ako sa pag-inom sabay bumaling sa kaniya na nagsasalin ng wine sa kaniyang baso. Nilapag ko ang akin sa mesa at pinag-krus ang aking mga hita. Pinatong ko ang mga siko sa arm rest ng upuan at pinagsiklop ang mga kamay. Nasa study room niya kami sa bahay.

"The what?"

"The alternative product that would stop vampires from craving for blood. We worked on it for almost a year since we expected this to happen. Fortunately, it worked. Kaya bukas ay ilalabas na iyon sa publiko. In exchange for peace."

"Peace?"

She nodded. "Blood is the main reason why vampires kill humans, we figured it would be best to provide them that to lessen the number of deaths. Mahihirapan nga lang dahil hindi namin alam kung ilan silang mga infected."

"They're countless, Ma. Vampires may or may not cooperate with this plan. Ang dami nila at hindi kayang kontrolin ang bawat isa sa kanila. What if they would still hunt humans down despite providing them with their needs?"

Sumandal siya sa kaniyang upuan. May kislap sa kaniyang mga mata na tumingin sa unahan. 

Mama Astrid is working under the government to help find the possible cure if there is. We worked for them three years ago but she began working for them again just months ago.

A year. They're working for alternatives for a year. With whom? I remember her going in and out of the country. Ang sinasabi niya ay trabaho sa New York. Noong tsinek ko ang negosyo namin, wala naman kaming ganoon sa nasabing bansa.

But her siblings were there, Mallory's parent and Kuya Aamon's. Sa pagkakatanda ko ay naroon din ang kaibigan ni Mama. 

Sunod-sunod siyang umalis noon. At next week ay aalis na naman siya papunta sa New York. 

"It's not my problem anymore, Emory. The government," she paused and looked at me intently. "Tinutulungan ko sila kasi iyon ang dapat. They get benefits from me at ganoon din ako sa kanila. It's a win-win situation."

"What do you get from doing this, though?" I asked in a low voice.

Ngumiti siya. "You know from the very first start why I'm doing this, Emory. If he won't still show up, I'm sorry but I have to sacrifice you or Simeon."

Kahit nang matapos ang usapan namin ay iyong sinabi ni Mama Astrid ang nasa isipan ko. Nakatihaya ako sa kama at nakatulala sa kisame. She didn't give me an answer as to why she needs to sacrifice me or my brother. Sino ba ang tinutukoy niya?

Inabot ko ang cellphone na nasa gilid ko nang maramdaman ang pag-vibrate nito. Azar's name flashed on my screen. Sinagot ko iyon.

"Hey," bati ko.

"I told you to wait for me. Bakit umalis ka agad?" malalim ang boses niyang sinabi.

Napakamot ako sa kilay. Umalis si Azar nang makauwi kami matapos mag-picnic. Ang sabi niya ay hintayin ko siya pero hindi ako sumunod. It was getting dark so I decided to go home by myself. 

"I'm sorry, urgent kasi."

I heard him sighed on the other line. I bit my lower lip.

"Azar?"

"Hmm?"

I smiled. "Thank you for today. I enjoyed it."

Humigit siya roon ng malalim na hininga. Then he chuckled.

"I'll take you to all my favorite places, Emory. Expect more from me."

"Do you want me to expect?"

"Yes..." paos niyang sinabi. "Do that."

"I won't. It would hurt me," tawa ko. Dinala ko ang kamay sa ere at pinaglaruan ang sariling daliri. 

"Ilalabas bukas ang alternative product ng dugo sa publiko. I don't know what would happen, Azar. I'm worried. What if vampires still choose to kill humans? What if hindi lang dugo ang habol nila kaya sila pumapatay? Maybe they're really up for revenge," puno ng pag-alala kong sinabi sa kaniya.

Segundo bago siya sumagot.

"Do not worry about anything, Emory. Everything will be fine. Let's just see tomorrow. But I suggest you to stay at home."

Gumulong ako sa gilid at dumapa sa kama. I raised my legs and moved it alternately in the air. Tinukod ko ang mga siko para suportahan ang sarili.

"Aren't you worried?" tanong ko. "Baka bukas dumanak ang dugo."

I heard him laugh. "Ang morbid mo mag-isip. Stop that. Hindi nakakabuti."

Ngumiti ako at umirap. "Stating possibilities, babe."

"You know... I think my mother is planning something," buntong-hininga kong sabi.

"Plan what?"

"She might give me or my brother away. She's looking for someone kasi. If he's not going to show up, then I don't know what would happen to us," I sighed again. "Pipila ka ba bukas para tumanggap ng Lifeblood?" tukoy ko sa produktong ilalabas bukas.

"Maybe, why?"

"My mother will be there. Can you look after her for me? I'll send her picture if it's okay."

"Alright."

Kinabukasan ay nanatili lang ako sa bahay. I reminded my mother to bring protection over and over again. Kasi puro bampira ang makakasagupa nila! Baka bigla na lang silang sungalngalin dahil nakakita ng taong puwede nilang maging pagkain.

The distribution of Lifeblood was seen on national television. Hapon iyon isinagawa dahil wala ng araw. Sobrang kaba ang nararamdaman ko habang pinapanood iyon. For thirty-six years, vampires sure grow in population.

"We are giving this product for free so vampires wouldn't have any reasons to kill humans again!" said the human.

"We will continue in providing you with this product as long as you keep your words. We have an agreement, vampires. If you stop killing humans, then we assure you we will find a cure for you to be human again. All of you," the speaker paused for a bit. Hawak na niya ang produkto nang magsalita ulit. "This product is free! We have built a*****e over the country exclusive for vampires only. Kaya ang lahat ay inaasahan na tumupad sa usapan dahil sa oras na isa sa inyo ang makabali, I'm sorry but we have no choice but to use force against you."

Later they talked about the progress of finding the cure. Nahagip ng kamera si Mama Astrid. They asked her but she didn't say anything which made me rolled my eyes. What? She will just let those officials claimed they made that essential product?

Kinuha ko ang cellphone sa center table nang umilaw ito. I opened the message.

Azar:

You've seen your mother?

Ako:

Yes.

Azar:

She's fine.

I nodded. I can see it. She was even smiling like the vampires around didn't bother her.

Ako:

She is. Thank you, Az.

Azar:

No worries, babe.

I replied a smiley emoticon. Pagkatapos ay hindi na siya nag-text pa. I shrugged and just continued watching the news.

Days passed and I'm back to work. Lumipad na si Mama Astrid patungo sa New York kaya naman ako ulit ang in-charge sa lahat. I tapped the pen on the paper as I listened to the person talking in front.

"Tumaas ang pasok ng pera sa atin simula ng ilabas ang the Vyn. We have also received a rapid increase of demand since we lower the price. The markets are running out of stocks, too. Kailangan na natin mag-restocks para mapunan ang empty shelves..."

Tumango-tango ako. "Then let's produce more Vyn. Marami pa namang Vervain, 'di ba?"

"Yes, Ms., actually kakarating lang ng bagong mga herbal mula sa supplier."

I smiled. "Hanggang dito na lang muna tayo. Meeting adjourned."

Tumayo na ako at naunang lumabas mula sa conference hall. Nakasunod si Ms. Ang sa akin hanggang sa opisina ko. I removed my coat and hang it over my chair and sat there.

"What's my next schedule?"

"Wala na po, Ms. Emory. Ang mga empleyado ay maaga na rin po umuwi..."

Napaangat ang tingin ko sa kaniya. "Maaga?" Then I remember our situation. "Right. You can go home now, Ms. Ang. Thank you."

Tumango siya at lumabas. I leaned on the chair and closed my eyes. Ilang beses akong bumuntong hininga. 

Azar ghosted me.

Wala akong balita kay Azar. Ang huli naming pag-uusap ay noong pinabantayan ko si Mama sa kaniya. After that, he didn't message or call me. The inconsistency of that man! I can't believe him! He didn't even inform me of his whereabouts. 

Umuwi na rin ako sa condo matapos ang kalahating oras na pananatili sa opisina. I wanted to invite my friends but it was getting dark so I just watched movies alone after reviewing some papers. Pero tumawag pa rin ako sa kanila.

"They've been through a lot and have proven their love for each other yet they didn't end up together. Tragic, isn't it? It just proved that no matter how much you love the person, if you two are not destined, then expect a bittersweet ending."

I told them my thoughts about the movie. Tahimik lang sila ni Audrey at Yves sa kabilang linya. Ang laptop ko ay nakapatong sa center table. Naka-indian sit naman ako sa sofa, may unan sa aking hita at nakapatong naman dito ang bowl ng popcorn.

"At least they once had each other," si Audrey.

I nodded. "Right, but it would be better if they still have each other."

Binalingan ko ang aking cellphone na nasa gilid ng laptop nang umilaw ito. Mabilis kong binaba ang bowl ng popcorn sa tabi ko at kinuha iyon.

New message. I opened it and read it.

Azar:

Nasa lobby ako ng condominium. Fetch me?

My eyes widened. I immediately rushed to the door. I didn't think of my friends as I entered the elevator down to the lobby. Wearing just my pair of pyjamas, I looked for Azar and found him in the waiting area.

I slowly walked towards him. He's wearing a navy blue polo shirt, black jeans clenched with a brown belt and shoes.

"Did you get burn?" agad kong tanong sa kaniya nang makalapit.

He stared at me for a second before wrapping his arms around me. Hinila niya ako palapit sa katawan niya. My hands were resting on my sides as he embraced me. 

Then I felt it. My heart scares me. The beat frightened me. The emotion I feel now horrified me.

It's alarming. I closed my eyes. He can hear it and that scares me.

"Emory..." he called. I felt him caressing my hair. "I wish I was human so I could understand why your heart is beating so fast and loud."

I laughed nervously. "It missed you..."

He chuckled. Kumalas na siya sa akin.

"My non-existent heartbeat missed you, too."

Nabura ang ngiti ko. I don't know if I should be happy or not. 

"Why are you here?"

Nagtaas si Azar ng kilay. "Am I not allowed to see you?"

I pursed my lips. So he came over just to see me? Humalukipkip ako.

"After ghosting me, babalik ka sa 'kin at magpapakita?"

"At least I came back to you?" naguguluhan niyang sinabi. "And I'll keep on coming back to you."

My heart pounded a bit. Umiwas ako ng tingin.

"How sure are you na tatanggapin kita?"

His upper lip rose up. "Just like how you accepted me for who I am," aniya.

"Don't abuse my kind heart, Azar."

His smile slowly faded. "I won't do that," he said darkly.

I heaved a sigh and held his wrist. Binitawan ko lang siya nang makapasok kami sa elevator. I pushed the number and stood straight beside him. Para akong mag-isa sa loob nang tiningnan ang repleksiyon sa harapan.

Of course, he has none.

"I don't have any rights to ask but, where have you been?"

"New York," sagot niya.

I turned my head to his direction. "New York?"

Why everyone seems fond of New York?

"Yes. I went there for work," aniya. "I'm sorry for not letting you know. I thought you'd find it weird if I tell you my whereabouts. I will inform you next time."

Tumango-tango ako at hindi na nagsalita pa. I'm lost of words. I don't know what to ask since I'm limiting myself to invade his personal space. I don't want to cross the line. Not when my heart is reacting wildly now that he's around.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya. "It's okay..." medyo mababa ang boses kong sinabi.

Bumukas ang elevator. Nauna akong lumabas at tumungo sa unit ko. I punched in the password and entered the house. Patuloy ako sa paglalakad patungo sa sala nang maramdamang hindi siya nakasunod.

Napatigil ako.

T-teka...

Do I still need to invite him?

I turned around only to find him looking down at the line near the entrance. I stopped myself from chuckling when he sighed before raising his head at me. Damn it! He looked cute.

I crossed my arms against my chest.

"Can't enter?"

"Invite me in," he said softly.

Umiwas ako ng tingin. "Wait... I'll just get myself a water," sabi ko kay Azar.

Pumunta ako sa kusina para uminom. Binagalan ko ang kilos ultimo ang bawat hakbang ko ay maliit para hindi agad makabalik sa kaniya. Paunti-unti kong nilagok ang tubig at binilang pa ang mga cabinet sa taas ng lababo.

This is childish. But I just want to get even! Kahit sa ganitong paraan lang.

Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pag-inom nang maalala sila Audrey at Yves. Namilog ang mga mata ko sa napagtanto. Napaubo pa ako roon! Kaagad kong binaba ang baso sa sink at tumakbo patungo sa sala.

The video call is still ongoing. Hinarap ko sa akin ang laptop.

"I think I heard a male voice! Sino 'yon?!" tili ni Audrey.

"Baka napadaan lang," gatong ni Yves.

"Ano ka ba?! Ang lapit ng boses. Saka invite me in daw, Emory! Don't be rude to your visitor. Let him in!"

"Then happy popping!"

Tumawa si Audrey sa sinabi ni Yves. I was about to say something when they both ended the call. Awang ang labi na tiningnan ko ang black screen. What? Happy popping?! What's that even mean?

Mabilis akong kumilos para puntahan si Azar. Nakatayo pa rin siya roon sa labas pero panaka-naka naman ang silip niya sa loob! Agad siyang umayos nang makita ako. His hands on his back.

"Well?"

I pursed my lips. "Sorry, come in."

Dahan-dahan ang paghakbang niya papasok. When he got inside, he sighed in relief. Namulsa siya roon at tiningnan ako. His lips was tightly closed. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay galit siya sa ginawa ko.

I licked my lip. Sinundan niya iyon ng tingin.

"Welcome?"

Nagtaas siya ng kilay. "Offer me something?"

Nagtaas din ako ng kilay. "What?"

"Tanungin mo kung ano ang gusto kong inumin," ngisi niya.

Natawa ako. Sinundan ko ang mga mata niya nang maglikot ito. Sa sala iyon tumigil. Napatingin din ako roon. Nothing's weird. The Netflix was still flashed on the television screen. May laptop at cellphone sa centre table, sa sofa ay nakakalat doon ang mga unan, may kumot pa at naroon din ang bowl ng popcorn.

It's messy.

"Did I interrupt something?" baling niya sa akin.

"No, I actually finished watching a movie when I received your text. Then a video conference with friends. So, wala ka talagang naabala."

Tumango-tango siya. "Are you still up for a movie marathon?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. "Sure. Maghahanda lang ako ng snacks at ikaw na ang pumili ng movie. Is it alright?"

Ngumiti siya at tumango. Akma akong tatalikod nang maalala ang kaniyang sinabi.

"Ano ang gusto mong inumin? Juice? Water or—"

"What about your blood?" mabilis niyang sinabi.

Napaatras ako ng isang beses. Napansin niya iyon kaya tumawa siya ng bahagya sa naging reaksiyon ko. Napakurap-kurap ako. 

"Do you have a beer?" 

Tumikhim ako bago dahan-dahang tumango.

"Then beer, babe."

Iniwan ko siya para gawin ang sinabi ko. He stayed in the living room to do what he was told to do so. I prepared some chips since I ran out of snacks then three cans of beer. Sa kaniya dalawa, akin ang isa.

Lumabas na ako sa kusina at pinuntahan siya sa sala. Abala siya sa pagpipindot sa remote. Nilapag ko ang dala sa mesa. Nakita ko roon ang bowl ng popcorn. Niligpit ko na lang ang laptop at iniwan lang ang aking cellphone. Umupo ako sa kaniyang tabi.

Sinulyapan niya ako. "I'll sleep here. Kung gusto mo ay dito ako sa sofa kung ayaw mo akong makatabi sa pagtulog."

Ngumuso ako. "You're guilt-tripping me, Azar."

"What?" 

"Dahil ba hindi kita pinapasok agad ay iniisip mong ayaw kita rito?"

He put the remote in the table and leaned on. Ang kaniyang braso ay nasa likod at ang isa ay nakatukod sa gilid ng aking pang-upo. He trapped me with his arm as he moved closer.

"I'm trying to be a gentleman even just for tonight, Emory. Kung sa iisang silid tayo, baka ay hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili na sambahin ka buong gabi. Kaya binibigyan kita ng pahintulot na patulugin ako rito sa sala."

Bawat buka ng bibig niya ay pinagmamasdan ko dahilan ng sunod-sunod niyang paghigit ng malalalim na hininga. Tinuon ko sa kaniyang mga mata ang atensiyon.

I swallowed hard. "Paano kung ayaw ko?" pabulong kong tanong.

"Then I'll still try to keep my hands to myself."

He sat properly and start scrolling through the television screen using the remote.

Malalim akong bumuntong hininga at pinili na lamang manahimik.

"By the way, do you have plans tomorrow?"

Tumango ako. "May pupuntahan ako..."

"Where?"

"Sasama ka?"

He glanced at me. "If coming means spending time with you, then yes. Kaya saan tayo pupunta bukas?"

"I'll visit our old house," I answered in low voice.