Taste of Poison

Kabanata 2

            Kabanata 2 

            First

When do people realize their mistake? Or how would they justify their actions if anything?

I stared blankly in front of my computer, thinking nothing but last night. I woke up feeling sore and that my whole body shouts for rest. Nalaman ko lang kung saan ako dinala ng nakasiping ko nang lumabas ako sa silid na napuno ng milagro kagabi! We were still in the club! Maybe he booked a private room there so he could take me!

I went home around eight. I took a shower and dressed up like nothing happened. Pumasok ako sa trabaho kahit na wala akong ibang maisip maliban sa nangyari kagabi.

I thought of any possible reasons why I let him touch me. Why did I even let him take my virginity?! Kilala ko siya! His face is too damn familiar but alcohol didn't stop me from doing the worst thing last night! Damn right. It was because of alcohol.

I was on the verge of pulling my hair down when the door of my office flew open, revealing Mallory who has a smug face as if she won a lottery.

I'm not ready for this.

"My dear cousin, I heard something from a very trusted person," umupo siya sa sofa at pinatong ang paa sa center table. Tumingin siya sa akin. "I received a tip from Brandon, you know him? The bartender in A Club. He saw you this morning daw. At first, hindi ako naniwala but then, he sent me a proof. I had it developed for you."

May inilapag siyang isang brown envelope sa lamesa. Saglit ko iyon tiningnan. Binalik ko rin kaagad ang tingin ko sa computer na blanko pa rin. Ni wala pang isang salita akong natitipa!

"Whatever that is, I'm not interested. May trabaho pa ako kaya puwede ka ng lumabas," pilit kong tinago ang pagka-irita.

Bakit ko ba nakalimutan na may ispeya siya sa club na iyon? I was confident last night because I thought it was just another normal night out!

She sighed dramatically. "Ganoon ba? I heard from his past women that he's good in bed. Would you please at least, tell me about it kahit little tiny piece of information lang para naman maniwala ako sa kanila."

I glanced in her direction. "What are you talking about?"

"The man who popped your cherry!"

My lips formed an o as if the news shocked me to the core.

"Really?! Someone popped my cherry?"

"My god, Ry! Don't deny it! Bente cinco ka na kaya normal lang iyon! Pumunta lang ako rito para ma-confirm!"

Sumandal ako sa upuan at marahan itong ginalaw. Hindi ako nagsalita. Ayokong madulas! Bahala siya mag-isip.

"I know you're not interested but let me fill your mind. He's Azar! Alaric's friend! No offense meant sa boyfriend ko pero Azar is the hottest and richest among them!" tili niya.

So Azar is his name? And people around him call him Az. Why not Asar? Natawa ako sa naisip.

Mallory fed my mind with nonsense information about Azar the whole hour, thinking he was the man whom I slept with last night. Totoo naman iyon, ayoko lang talaga na bigyan siya ng ideya dahil tiyak ipagtutulakan niya ako sa lalaking iyon. Wala rin akong nagawang trabaho kaya naman nang mag-aya siyang lumabas ay pumayag ako. Pasimple ko pang hinulog ang envelope na nasa lamesa at itinago sa ilalim.

We went to the nearest restaurant to eat or so I thought...

"He's here! Az, come here!"

I shouldn't have trusted Mallory, never again. Tumayo siya para salubungin ang bagong dating. I can hear their voices behind me but I remained seated, stunned. I licked my lower lip as I tried hard to calm myself. Mamaya ay magpapa-spa ako para ma-relax naman ang buong sistema ko. Parang kanina pa ako kabadong-kabado, e.

"Iiwan ko na ang pinsan ko sa 'yo. Ikaw na bahala," napaigtad ako nang may tumapik sa balikat ko. "Be a good girl, Ry. He's a catch..." Mallory whispered.

Umalis na siya pagkatapos. Narinig ko ang mabibigat na hakbang palapit na sinasabayan ko ng malalalim na paghinga. Nang makaupo siya sa harap ko ay roon ko lang inangat ang ulo. Pumikit siya at maraming beses na huminga ng malalim na para bang may inaamoy.

Naalala ko ang nangyari kahapon. Sana pala nag-spray ako! Pinagsisihan kong hindi ko iyon dinala.

"I should go..." ani ko. Doon niya iminulat ang mga mata.

"Too soon? Kakaupo ko lang," he said that playfully. "What do you want to eat? I will order food for us."

"Aalis na ako. Wala akong panahon sa 'yo..." kinuha ko ang bag at akmang tatayo nang mabilis niyang hinawakan ang palapulsuhan ko.

"Don't be rude. I made you reach heaven last night, remember?"

Winaksi ko ang kamay niya. "Yeah, right. Thank you!" I sarcastically said.

Sino ang makakalimot sa nangyari kagabi? Gusto ko iyon kalimutan pero hindi ko magawa dahil sa bawat galaw ko ay sumasakit ang gitnang bahagi ng hita ko! Nagpapaalala tungkol sa mainit na tagpo kagabi!

"You left this morning," sinabi niya na para bang obligasyon kong manatili.

"And? You expect me to stay and cuddle with the mere stranger? With you?"

Umangat ang gilid ng labi niya. "Why not? You were a virgin. I was expecting your loud cries first thing in the morning."

Marahas akong bumuga ng hangin. Ang taas naman ng tingin niya sa sarili. Does he think all virgins would cry because of him? I knew better than that! I lost my virginity but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Ang kapal naman ng mukha niya para insultuhin ako!

And why is he making this such a big deal? At first look, I knew he's the type of person who f**k and go. At iyon ang ginawa ko! Kaya hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangan niya pang magpakita. It was supposed to be just a one night stand!

Men and their pride just won't go off. My eyes widen in realization. Right!

"Did I hurt your ego? Iniisip mo ba na dapat ikaw ang nang-iwan and not the other way around?"

His face darkened. "You will just let me get away after taking your innocence? You wouldn't ask me to take responsibility, ganoon ba?"

Tumaas ang kilay ko. "Why would I do that? What happened last night was hot, alright. You were good, eleven out of ten if you'd ask me to rate your performance. Pero hanggang doon lang 'yon. It was just a one night stand, I supposed."

His jaw clenched. "Well, that's good. Now, go."

One last glanced and I stood up. Walang-lingon akong umalis. He looked so furious! Ano ba kasi ang inaasahan niya? That I would beg him to stay with me because he took something from me I could never take back? I realized my mistake last night but I did not regret it. And if I do, aalis pa rin ako.

Bakit ba kasi sa lahat ng lalaki, siya pa ang napili ko para wasakin ang Bataan ko. Maybe because he was too hot to say no last night! Pero ang yabang at arogante niya! Akala mo'y luluhuran siya ng lahat.

Imbes na dumiretso sa trabaho ay pinili kong magpa-spa. All the negative energy fled away. My body and soul are more relaxed now unlike earlier. I went to the salon to dye my hair from light brown to ash grey which suited my skin so perfectly. I shopped for new office clothes and ate in a Chinese restaurant. My stressed inner self felt relieved after I did those things.

I went back to the company after. I was waiting for the elevator to closed when a hand refrained it from doing so. Pumasok ang isang babae. Palihim ko siyang pinagmasdan. Nang bumaling siya sa akin ay umiwas ako para lang makita ang repleksiyon ko sa unahan.

That's when I noticed that she has none.

"Do you work here?" I asked.

Without glancing, she answered. "No, I visited a friend. Why?"

Umiling ako. "Nothing, I just thought you were..."

"Oh, wait..." tumingin siya sa akin. "Have we met before? You looked familiar."

Umiling lang ako bilang tugon. Sa opisina ako dumiretso nang bumukas ang elevator. Gulong-gulo akong umupo sa sofa. She's not a human, I'm sure of that. But why is she here? Is she up for something?

Kaka-relax ko lang! Ayokong ma-stress na naman! So I decided to keep my mouth shut even when Mama Astrid started talking about them during dinner.

"I was in college that time when someone asked me if I believe in vampires. I answered him yes without giving any reason..."

"Hindi po siya nagtaka, Tita Astrid?" Mallory asked while eating.

Tumawa si Mama. "I found out that he was a vampire."

Muntik ko ng maibuga ang tubig na iniinom. Pinunasan ko ang bibig gamit ang table napkin.

So she had a friend who happened to be a vampire. That was so complicated on so many levels knowing she was a vampire hunter. I wonder how they met. Or how their friendship ended.

"What happened to him, Mama?" I asked full of curiosity.

She shrugged. "He left..."

"You killed him, Tita?!" Mallory exclaimed. 

She dropped her gaze on her plate and said nothing.

Mallory and I exchanged glances. Nagkibit-balikat ako dahil hindi ko rin alam ang tungkol sa bagay na iyon. Mama Astrid isn't the type of mother who would tell me stories about her teenage life. Kung magk-kuwento siya, parang ganito rin.

She would leave us hanging and clueless.

It was past ten when I went to my room to sleep. Nasa bahay kami at wala sa condo. Kaya hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako nakatulog ng maayos noong gabi. Was it because of my room which I barely used, Mama Astrid story or that woman in elevator? Either way, I still kept that incident the next day.

"How was your meeting with Az yesterday, Ry? He's kind, 'di ba? A bit cold but he'd surely make you happy, I assure you! Hundred percent!"

Inilingan ko lang si Mallory. Isang tipid na ngiti ang iginagawad ko sa mga trabahador ni Mama Astrid na nakakasalubong ko. I was asked to make a report. Kaya naman pumunta ako sa pagawaan ng produkto ng pabango.

"Huwag mo na ulit gagawin iyon. I don't like him, Mal. So I expect you to stop pairing me with him."

Umirap siya at ngumuso. "He's your first, I really think it's really necessary to start dating him," humalukipkip siya sa tabi ko.

Hindi ko siya pinansin. Sinalubong ako ni Mrs. Susan Asuncion na siyang namamahala sa pagawaan. Malaki ang ngiti niya na tumigil sa harap ko. Hinubad niya ang gloves at inipit ito sa pagitan ng kaniyang braso.

Nakipagkamay ako sa kaniya matapos ang matipid na batian.

"Ms. Du Marais asked me to visit for a weekly report as a substitute for Secretary Maria Luisa Ang. Maari ko bang malaman kung kumusta ang kondisyon at daloy ng paggawa ng mga produkto..."

Mallory busied herself while I talked to Mrs. Asuncion about the progress. Namamangha kong pinagmamasdan ang mga trabahador na abala sa kanilang mga ginagawa. The workers were so friendly that I almost forgot my real agendas on I why I visited the factory. Nang matapos ay pinuntahan ko si Mallory na naabutan kong may kausap sa cellphone.

"I'll hang up now, luv..." she said in a very low and sweet voice.

I tapped her back that made her jump. "You drive, Mal."

Sumimangot siya pero wala namang angal na pumasok sa sasakyan. The ride was filled with both insisting and resisting, so I chose to slept. Pinipilit niya talaga ang gusto niyang mangyari! Kahit iisa lang ang sagot ko ay hindi pa rin nagpatinag ang bruha.

"No!" matigas kong sagot sabay pilit binuksan ang pinto ng passenger seat. But it was locked!

Bumaba ang salamin sa bandang iyon. Sumilip siya at ngumisi na inirapan ko lang pagkatapos ay sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

"Nasa loob siya. May sasalubong sa 'yo sa labas na kulot ang buhok. Igigiya ka niya papunta sa opisina ni Az. Huwag ng matigas ang p-ssy, Ry! Grab the chance!"

Mariin akong pumikit. "F-ck you, Mallory." I raised my middle finger.

Humalakhak lang siya. "Pasasalamatan mo rin ako sa huli, Ry. Good luck, my dear cousin!"

Nakita ko na lang ang pag-alis ng sasakyan. Mallory tricked me. She asked me to buy something and right after I went out of the car, doon ko lang nalaman ang plano niya nang bumungad sa harapan ko ang A Club. I shouldn't have slept. I shouldn't have trusted her!

Sa huli ay wala na akong nagawa pa. Walang sasakyan na dumadaan dahil nasa dulong bahagi ang club. May gasoline station sa hindi kalayuan at isang store, pero hindi matao. Sa likod ng club ay isang gubat. Pumasok na ako sa loob. Sinalubong ako ng lalaki.

Si Brandon. Iyong kulot ang buhok. Naalala ko ang tawag ni Simeon sa kanila. Mukha raw silang pancit canton na naglalakad.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya at bumati. Ganoon din siya sa akin.

"Pinahabilin ka sa akin ni Mallory, nasa taas si Bossing! Nagka-kape sa opisina niya. Gusto mong ihatid kita?"

"Bossing?" kunot-noo kong tanong.

Kinamot niya ang kilay. "Oo, si Boss Azar. Siya ang may-ari nitong club na dinadayo niyo tuwing Biyernes ng gabi!"

Umatras ako. Good thing I brought my bag with me! And the perfume! May dahilan na para hindi ako lumapit sa kaniya. I admit that Azar is really a big catch. He's handsome and according to Mallory, he's rich, but his arrogance go unnoticed. He's way too different from the guys I dated, too. Iyong iba ay hindi man mapapantayan ang kung ano ang mayroon siya, at least they're still trying their best to be humble!

Pero iyon nga ang problema! He is different!

I was about to spray some perfume on my wrist when a hand caught mine.

"Don't you dare," sa malalim na boses. Nawala sa kamay ko ang bote. "Throw that away from here. Ayokong makita o maamoy ang bagay na iyan."

Umalis si Brandon. Binitawan niya ang kamay ko at namulsa sa harap ko. I glared at him.

"How dare you..." I gritted my teeth.

He looked at me seriously. "What are you doing here? I thought we made ourselves clear."

Umirap ako, humalukipkip at inilibot ang tingin.

"As if I wanted to be here..."

"But you're here..." he paused. "Did you change your mind? You want to tie me now?"

Iritado ko siyang binalingan. "Hindi! I'm here to drink, okay! Walang malisya ang pagpunta ko rito kaya bigyan mo ako ng hard drinks! Gusto kong makalimot!"

His lips rose a bit. "Was changing your hair color helped you forget that steamy night, hm?"

Huli na para umiwas sa kaniya. Mabilis siyang lumapit at hinawakan ang buhok ko. My hair was just above my shoulder so I could feel his knuckles on my bare skin as he caressed my hair up to the edge. I shivered at the c-ntact.

"Style ko 'to for this month," sabay iwas ko.

Tiningnan niya ako saglit. Bumuntong hininga siya nang walang makuha sa akin.

"Alright," he stood straight. "Kung gusto mong uminom, sa taas tayo mag-inuman. Pagkatapos ay pag-usapan natin ang ipinunta mo rito."

"Sinabi ko na, 'di ba?! I'm here because I want to drink!"

His brow shot up. "Really now? The sun is still out, smiling brightly and you came here just because?"

Umirap ako at padabog siyang iniwan doon. Nakita ko ang ibang naka-duty roon na nagsi-iwas ng tingin. Para kaming timang na nagsisigawan sa bungad ng pinto! Pero wala akong pakialam! Nandito na rin lang ako, mas mabuti pang uminom na lang para mapanindigan ang sinabi ko.

"Up to my office, Emory."

At talagang sumunod pa siya!

Umupo ako sa pinakadulong stool sa bar counter. Siya naman ay nasa likod ko. Hindi na ako nagulat kung bakit alam niya ang pangalan ko. Si Mallory! Bubusalan ko na ang bibig niya!

"Umalis ka nga! Nakakabanas ka na!"

Tinawag ko ang bartender doon. Pero bago pa siya makalapit ay inutusan na siya ni Azar na umalis.

Mariin akong pumikit. My body is shaking because of pure annoyance. Why can't he just shut up and mind his business?

"Leave me alone! Ano pa ba ang gusto mo?! I gave myself to you, yes! And I didn't regret it! Ang iba nga ay tuwang-tuwa pa kapag alam nilang wala silang obligasyon dahil sa nakuha nila ang virginity ng babae pero ikaw?! Why can't you just be happy?" baling ko sa kaniya.

He stared at me intently. His jaw moved a bit as if controlling his anger that's slowly building up inside him. I can sense it coming but I don't give a f**k about him. Kung galit siya, mas galit ako sa kaniya!

"Look, Azar. You were my first but, that was it. It ends there, okay? We're not supposed to fight over that petty thing..."

"In my office," he said darkly.

I shook my head. "I'm staying here 'till the moon shines."

He stilled.

"Go away, I don't need you here. Pabalikin mo na rin ang pinaalis mong bartender."

Tinalikuran ko siya.

I want to call someone but that b-tch, Mallory confiscated my phone. Wala rin naman iyong silbi dahil napakahina ng signal dito. Pero gusto ko ng umuwi! I can ask someone here to drive me home, right? Maybe Brandon can help. He's Mallory's spy s***h friend. May awa rin naman siguro siya sa katulad kong nangangailangan.

Tatayo na sana ako nang maramdaman ang katawan kong umangat sa lupa. Nanlalaki ang mga mata kong sinilip si Azar na hindi pa pala umaalis! Nakasampay ako sa balikat niya kaya likod lang ng ulo niya ang bumungad sa akin.

"Put me down, Azar! Put me down!" paulit-ulit kong hinampas ang likod niya.

Umakyat siya sa spiral stairs habang buhat ako. Hampas naman ako ng hampas pero hindi man lang siya natinag! May binuksan siyang pinto at bago pa ako maka-react ay ibinagsak niya ako roon sa sofa.

"What the f-ck is your problem?!" sigaw ko. Inayos ko ang nagulong buhok.

"You are the problem!" he fired back.

Tumayo ako dahil doon. Nakapameywang siyang nakatalikod sa akin. Marahas ang pagtaas at baba ng kaniyang mga balikat.

"At ako pa talaga?! E, ikaw nga itong hindi matanggap-tanggap na iniwan ng isang virgin na katulad ko pagkatapos mag-s-x! Tapos ako pa talaga ang problema, huh?!"

Marahas niya akong binalingan. Napaatras ako dahil doon pero hindi ko pinakita ang kaba ko.

I foresee the upcoming war right through his burning eyes. His jaw was tightly clenched as he stepped forward. I remained standing, not wanting to move an inch. I feel scared because he might hear my heart beating faster than usual. I don't want him to think that he's superior just because he makes me feel nervous and... weak.

"Just let me go..." I said wearily.

He sneaked his hand around my waist and pulled me close.

"I won't," he stared at me. "I am your responsibility. You were my first and I'm really a sentimental person, Emory. So take me."

Then he lowered his face for a hot kiss.