Captivated by his sex...

Taking in the whole room, I wait. I look but I can’t see. Wild thoughts running through my mind. ‘What if he doesn’t show?’, ‘What if I don’t look like my profile picture?’ Or worst yet ‘What if he attacks me?’. I message a friend and my mother. I type in the text box. ‘If you don’t hear from me again, I was at the watering hole haha’. Feeling pleased with myself I snap a selfie and place my phone into my bag, I always did have a warped sense of humour. As I look up from carefully placing my skirt, not too much on show but just enough to intrigue his curiosity and desire, I see him. My heart flutters, it can only be describe as butterflies in my chest. Instantly I know it’s him, incredibly, exactly like the pictures he had shared. Well crap. Excitement and panic flood my now thumping chest. ‘Do I wave? Or do I pretend not to see him? No maybe I should approach him?’ But then... our eyes lock, the aqua blue glistening directly towards me my mind stopped as I see him gaining speed towards me. I flush red as I feel the blood rising in my cheeks. All I can do is smile. “Hi, I’m Ted but you can call me T” I can’t wipe the smile off my face realising that for the first time I’ve been dealt a good hand, he is absolutely gorgeous, he is tall, fair haired and bares stunning eyes that I can feel penetrate my skin every time he looks at me. “Hey, I’m Miyra, did you want to sit here or outside?” The words had slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. He chuckled and replied “Here is fine”. I sat with my back to the corner of the room so I could observe him - every inch of him - as he did with me. We exchanged the normal pleasantries, how are you, what did you do today bla bla bla... but then it got deep. The mood of the conversation changed while he revealed ample amounts about his mysterious past, just enough to not frighten me away on the first day but to intrigue me into the ‘bad boy gone good’ vibe. I wasn’t sure if I trusted him just yet, so I completed my drink and excused myself to the ladies. I felt his eyes burning on my back as I walked up each step until I was out of his view, then I finally let out a squeal and sigh repeating OMG OMG OMG OMG over and over in my head. I didn’t want to take too long being a Thursday night I wanted to spend the maximum amount of time with this delicious man before retiring home for an early work day morning. After hours of non- stop conversation, Sarcastic comments, dark history, several scary stories and comments about the future we parted ways. He drank fizzy drink and I only had a cider but didn’t want to risk driving. "Can I walk you to the bus stop?" "That'd be great it's just there". I pointed to the bus stop maybe 300 metres down the road. "You don't have to wait with me for the bus if you don't want to. There is one coming in 13 minutes". He insisted that he waited for my bus and with a quick kiss on my cheek while I placed a gentle pat on his back the night was over. Extremely pleased I was buzzing. It had been AMAZING. Well for me. He actually looked like his picture. Two to three days later, I decided to send T a text ‘Hi, haha how are you?’ He replied instantly with ‘Hello, I thought I’d never hear from you again'. I chuckled and we continued messaging into the late evening about all random things. Our day, work, favourite things and little things that we wouldn't usually talk to others about. Any excuse to keep the conversation going. I was head over heels for this man and we quickly arranged a second meeting. It became our thing... Thursday night was date night, pubs, dinners, restaurants, park walks, shopping trips and hotels. Due to our living situations of sharing accommodation, we couldn’t visit each others homes. It was tricky but we balanced it by spending our time in my old beat-up car. It was roughly 2 months into this new adventure when the flash of his dark past struck me smack bang in the face AGAIN. This gorgeous man has been taken for a fool, he had been hurt and he felt history had begun to repeat itself. An argument struck between us over something so miniature I can't even remember and he stormed away shouting in the most gruesome and frightening voice “Do NOT follow me”. I could see this beautiful man in pain, I rushed after him and wrapped my arms around him and refused to let him go. It was my fault he was hurting but I didn't know what I had done. He crumpled down onto the bench. “Do you want to talk about it?” “No” he mumbled under his breath. We walked back to the car in silence and I began the drive home. We turned into his street as he gave me directions because I had no clue where he lived, the first words spoken since the event “I’m not ready to go home yet!” he sounded exhausted. I instantly offered to drive around the streets until he was ready to return home. 1am arrived and I finally crashed onto my cold bed that was calling my name. It was now I realised I was in trouble. I had fallen hard for this man and was willing to do everything in my power to make his life better and happier. We hadn’t formed our ‘bond’ yet and there was no certainty as to if and when that would happen. But... What was he so terrified about that he couldn’t go home. I racked my brain but for now I must sleep as the sun was beginning to rise and I was due to work soon.