unwanted and in the shadows

chapter 5: Awkward dinner

I flinched because she tried to sound warm and inviting like my mother. Which she was nothing like I knew that b***h was for sure listening in on our conversation and that made me boil with fury. I know, I know am not allowed to cuss but this woman always gets on my nerves somehow. She always gets a way.

As if a switch was flipped I watched my father's eyes turn cold displaying no emotion. His face turned cold and impassive too. It pained me to watch all this happen right before my eyes. He stood up and mechanically walked out of the study leaving me there all alone to deal with my emotions and sorrows.

I stayed in the study a moment longer, staring at the photo of Mom that was placed on the desk. Her eyes, so full of life and love, seemed to watch over me, offering a silent comfort that I clung to. I took a deep breath and went downstairs, each step feeling like a descent into a reality I didn't want to face.

The dining room was immaculate, every detail meticulously arranged by Diana. Dad sat at the head of the table, engrossed in his phone. Diana was already seated, her eyes darting to me with a look that was somewhere between impatience and judgment.

"You're late," she said, her tone leaving no room for excuses. I mentally rolled my eyes at her, typical for her I know, non the less, "sorry," I mumbled, taking my seat. The food was tasteless in my mouth, a reflection of the hollowness inside me.

Dad didn't even look up. He was back to his cold self I felt as if a bucket of cold water had been poured on my whole being. He was present in body, but his mind was a million miles away. I felt like a ghost in my own home, invisible and unheard.

I picked at my food for a while but I had lost my appetite already not that I had any so I just left the food and pushing my sit back excused myself. No one acknowledged me and without thinking much about it I left the suffocating room as I entered the halls took in a large drag of air that I had not realized I needed till now. This people are going to be the death of me.

I quickly went to my room, the only sanctuary I had left. I curled up on my bed, hugging Mom's old sweater to my chest. The fabric was worn and frayed, but it still smelled faintly of her perfume. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I let them fall. In the quiet of my room, I could mourn without judgment, without the cold eyes of Lydia or the indifference of Dad.

I was drifting through life like a shadow, unnoticed and unimportant. I tried sleeping , trying to escape into this world where everything was fine mum was still alive and dad was still his cheerful self I smiled into the dream atleast I can let my imagination roam.