My Plus-size Love

Chapter 5

“Bizz, Bizz, Bizz” Who is calling me? I completely forgot to turn my phone off silent when I got home. I glanced at my clock and saw that it was 9 pm. I slept so long. I looked down at my phone and saw it was Derek who was calling me. Crap I was not expecting him to call me. I wanted to curl up into a ball because I was so nervous to answer.

“Hello?” I said trying to keep my voice from shaking. Why am I acting like a middle schooler whose crush just called her for the first time?

“Hello Clarissa, I am sorry to call you, I was just nervous that you hadn’t messaged me back so I thought I would call and make sure you are okay.” His voice is even sexier than I had imagined. I could melt into his deep sultry voice.

“I am so sorry; I was so tired I went home early and passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow. I completely forgot to turn my phone off silent mode.”

“That is okay, I am just glad that I got to talk to you over the phone now.” This man is really going to be the death of me if he keeps talking to me like this.

“Well, I guess that is one good way to look at it. I am glad that I get to talk to you over the phone too. Then I can give you all my attention and not get distracted by everything around me,” I started to pace around the room. Anybody that can sit still and have a conversation is crazy to me. I have to walk around the room.

“Did you sleep well, have any dreams?” I thought about it and realized that I did have a dream, I dreamt about meeting Derek over dinner and getting to know him. It ended with us embracing each other and I started to blush a deep red.

“As a matter of fact, I did. I dreamt about you actually”

“Oh, you did?” His voice sounded whimsical.

“Yes, I did.”

“Do you care to elaborate?” It is so much fun to tease him.

“Well, as embarrassing as this might be, I actually dreamt about meeting you.”

“I hope I was a gentleman. There is nothing wrong with having a dream, especially if it is about me.” I blushed again. Thankfully he can’t see me because it would only make my embarrassment even worse than it already is.

“It was a nice dream; I didn’t want to wake up, I guess that is why I didn’t.” I laughed at my silly joke. It got quiet after I stopped talking. I hate how awkward it can be when you call someone for the first time without any purpose other than to get to know that person.

“Maybe that means we should meet up.” Even though he said it, he didn’t sound all that excited about it. Now my excitement and nervousness disappeared just as quickly as they came. I don’t know why he sounds upset about the prospect of meeting me. I really thought we were getting along so well.

“I’m not trying to push you into a meeting, it was just a dream.” I couldn’t help to have some annoyance in my voice. I was trying to act like a grown woman, but I was disappointed. He seemed to be into me as much as I was into him. He is the one who is always messaging me when I don’t answer, and he was even the one who called me! I heard him sigh over the phone,

“Clarissa, it’s not that I don’t want to meet you, I want to. It’s just kind of complicated. With my work and everything, you know?” I guess it made me feel a little bit better but honestly, I was still upset. I don’t want to push him away so I will just let it go for now. This is a conversation we are going to have to have later though. Something seems off about the whole thing.

“I understand, it’s okay. Let’s just talk about something else.”

“Okay, what is it that you want to talk about?” That was the moment that I realized I had forgotten the questions that I wrote down at work. I was so excited to get home I forgot to grab them, of course now that I am in the spot I can’t think of a single question.

“Uh, so to be honest, I wrote down some questions while I was working because I tend to forget things a lot. Yeah, I forgot my questions, so you know. It was pretty pointless in writing them in the first place.” He started to laugh a full belly laugh that just made me smile. All the annoyance and doubt I had before melted away with the sexy deep laugh of his.

“I can’t get enough of how cute you are, Clarissa.” Why does he have to say my name like that? It sent shivers down my body.

“I’m sorry, I am a huge klutz. Are you sure you still want to get to know me? I will start to annoy you; most people get annoyed with me.”

“I could never get annoyed with you. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself? Why did you want to go into HR? How did you find the publishing company?” Thankfully Derek had thought about what he wanted to ask me. At least this gives me time to think about some questions to ask him.

I started to tell him about my journey into HR. When I first started school, I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. It wasn’t until I talked to a student advisor that I found my passion. The student advisor was asking me questions about what I did with my free time, if I liked to be the one in charge of projects, and what I was passionate about. I told her I would rather oversee projects, so I know they get done right. That I loved being able to help people, I could never be a healthcare worker because it would wear down on me. I feel too much passion and sympathize with people that it would eventually break me down to nothing. If I even saw a child that was dying and I couldn’t do anything, I don’t think I could go on. With that she told me I should do Human Resources work because then I could help people by hiring them, helping them promote, and making sure they have all the resources they need to succeed. There can be some bad with HR work, but I know that no job is going to be perfect.

When I got my internship, it solidified my passions. I got to witness firsthand how important the job is. I helped a man who was fighting to get his mentally challenged son the help he needed from the state because he was turning 18. He needed help taking off time while he was going to court, and I was with him every step of the way. After, he thanked me repeatedly because he had no idea what he was doing and what options he had. That was when I knew that was where I was meant to be.

I stopped talking because I just realized I was rambling for the past 20 minutes telling him about my schooling and work.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to go off on a tangent.” I hate whenever I do that, it can be so embarrassing.

“You need to stop apologizing to me all the time.”

“I’m sorry” more laughter followed; I could die. I really hate myself sometimes.

“What am I going to do with you Clarissa, you do not have to apologize. I love listening to you talk. I am impressed that you have been able to find the thing you love doing most in this world. I wish I could have that kind of passion with my work.”

“You don’t like being in the entertainment business?” I made a note to ask what exactly he does, the entertainment business is way too general.

“I like it, it’s just a lot of work. It has a lot more downsides than it has any that are good.”

“What do you do exactly, when you say entertainment business?”

“I have some roles in movies.”

“Are you an actor!?”

“Of sorts, yeah” he had a dismissive tone again. I could tell he didn’t want me to ask any more questions. Maybe he just had small roles and wanted something big to do. I can’t believe I am talking to someone who has been in a movie, small roles or not.

“So, are you saying I am dating someone who is famous?” I said jokingly.

“Dating?” he said with a question, and I realized what I said.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be presumptuous. I was just talking I didn’t even realize what I was say-” He interrupted me before I could finish my sentence.

“You want to date me?”

“I want to, yeah.” I started to feel nervous again. I just wish we could meet in person so we can get this awkwardness over with.

“I think we should meet in person first. Then you can decide if you want to date me or not.” I felt taken aback. What could he possibly mean by that? He has just been acting so suspicious since we started this phone call.

“When do you want to meet up? You sounded like you didn’t want to meet me when I brought it up earlier.” He is making no sense.

“I told you already, I do want to meet you it’s just complicated.”

“Is it so complicated you can’t tell me over the phone?”

“Yes, it is.” Now I don’t know what I should say. It was silent for a few minutes before I finally got the courage to speak.

“How am I supposed to decide anything if we keep hitting this barrier?”

“We can meet in two weeks. I was looking at my schedule. Trust me, Clarissa, I want to meet you more than anything. I want to see your beautiful smile in person and watch you get flustered at what I say. If I could drive and see you right now, I would. It is just complicated.” I felt at a loss for words.

“So, two weeks when?”

“How does Saturday sound? I have a friend that I went to high school with that owns a restaurant. We can meet up there and then have the privacy we need to get to know one another.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” I really didn’t have anything else I could think of to say. This was all so mysterious, and it was driving me nuts.

“I have to get off the phone, it is getting late again. Thank you for answering, I really enjoyed this conversation, Clarissa.”

“I did too, Derek. I can message you if you want?”

“Of course, I want you to message me. Goodnight, try to dream of me again. I will talk to you tomorrow.” Click. That was it, the end of our first conversation. It raised more questions than anything. I have to call Angela!