My Plus-size Love

Chapter 13

I quickly walked over to the table and stood awkwardly; I didn’t know what I should do. This is real, Derek Hyland is sitting at this table.

“Oh my god, I am such a huge fan! I can’t believe Derek took you on our date. I know I said I wanted to meet you, but I never imagined that he would bring you along.” I was flustered, this was not what I was expecting. What am I supposed to say? This is so weird; I was expecting to be alone with Derek. I wanted to meet Derek Hyland, but I thought that would come much later. I do not do well with surprises.

“Speaking of Derek, where is he? Did he go to the bathroom?” I was scanning the room, but it was small with only this table in it. There wasn’t a waiter or anything, just this table and one of the most famous people on TV today. I wanted Derek to get here so that maybe it wouldn’t be so awkward. I always imagined what I would say if I met Derek Hyland, but now that he is sitting right in front of me, I don’t know what to say. It is much more intimidating than I ever imagined it would be.

“Well, I have something to tell you, Clarissa.” I looked at Derek Hyland while he sheepishly looked around the room, avoiding making eye contact with me. What is happening? This is getting more awkward by the second. I wish I could shrink up and die. I looked around and realized there were only our two seats, I see. Derek is trying to reject me by making Derek Hyland come here instead. It sucks, but I guess there are worse ways to be rejected.

“Look, I understand. Did Derek send you to reject me? It was nice of you to come out here to tell me, but honestly, you didn’t have to. I feel bad for wasting your time, though it is super awesome that I got to meet you in person. My friend is never going to believe this!”

“Oh, Angela?”

“Yeah, how did you know, did Derek tell you about her?” I was touched, at least he talked about me a little bit. I knew this was too good to be true.

“No Clarissa, listen to me.” He kept using my name, this was starting to feel eerily familiar.

“I am sorry that I lied to you, I just didn’t know how else to meet people but to keep my identity a secret. I wanted to find someone who wanted to be with me for me, not for who I am. I was excited when I saw your profile and even more so when we started talking.” He was tripping over his words, and I couldn’t wrap my mind around what he was saying. What does he mean when he met me? I must not understand what he is trying to say to me. I laughed nervously; this must be a joke.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. Seriously, where is Derek? This isn’t funny anymore.” He looked at me, searching my face with the look of someone who feels guilty. I am starting to get mad.

“Look, it was really nice to meet you Derek, but if my date isn’t going to be here then I am going to go home. I had a long day, and I am tired. This was fun but I need to,” He interrupted me before I could even finish my sentence.

“Clarissa! I am trying to tell you that you have been talking to me this whole time. I am Derek, I lied to you. I am so sorry, but I wanted to meet you. I have really loved talking to you these past few days and I didn’t want to keep lying to you. That is why I rushed to meet you, I am falling for you and didn’t want to create a relationship with you based on lies.” I was shocked, this can’t be real.

“You didn’t want to start a relationship based on lies? I think it is a little late for that. Were you just messing with me because you get a kick out of making fun of vulnerable women who already struggle with finding someone because of their weight? Do you know how much it took me to open myself up to you and even get on that dating site in the first place? I idolized you and now I just want to leave. Thanks for wasting my time,” I tried to keep my voice down and not yell too loud. I got up and grabbed my purse, but Derek grabbed my arm before I could walk away.

“Please let me explain myself. Afterward, if you want to leave, then I will understand.” I glared at him but decided I should stay. I am curious as to what he has to say and why he would put me through this. If it was a joke, then he is taking this way too far.

“You have five minutes.” I sat down and he looked at me almost surprised. I guess he was expecting me to leave. He took a deep breath and started with his story.

“I have never known what it was like to be with someone who really cares about me. I dated Brittany after I became famous, but it was all a publicity stunt. It was never a real relationship; I would never date someone like her in a million years. She is the most self-centered person I have ever met in my life, and she is so selfish. Not only that, but I like bigger women anyways.” He looked away while he said the last sentence, he paused and snuck a look at me, but I just crossed my arms and kept looking at him.

“Three minutes left.” None of this explains why he did this. He sighed and kept going.

“Sorry, I’ll keep going. Well, I tried dating sites while I was in LA, but I kept coming across people who were too worried about me being a celebrity. No one was ever worried about how I felt, just about who I was. There was no way that I could join a website like the one I met you on either because then the media would pick it apart and it could cause more trouble than what it would be worth. I promise you that everything that I told you was the truth. I have always been myself when I talk to you, and I have wanted to meet you. You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met, inside and out.” He stopped talking and reached for my hand. At first, I recoiled my hand, but then after seeing the hurt look on his face, I placed my hand on the table for him to grab. He smiled and held my hand and started to stroke it with his thumb. I smiled a little bit since it was the first time someone had held my hand in a long time. The reality of the situation came back to me like a fist to the gut.

“So, who is the guy that you used as your profile picture?” I was staring at his hand in mine while I asked the question.

“That is one of my old high school buddies. He and the guy that owns this restaurant are the only two friends I still talk to. They don’t treat me differently just because of my status. I don’t know what I would do without them, because they are some of the only true people in my life. Like I told you the other day, I don’t talk to my dad, so they are like my family.” I sighed and got lost in my own thoughts. I felt bad for him, but I can’t believe that he lied to me. I can understand why he did what he did, but my instincts were telling me that it was a bad idea to get involved with him. Not just because he is famous, but because he lied.

“I am glad that you told me. I need some time to think. This is a lot to take in and I don’t how I feel yet. Can we meet later and try this again? I just want to go home and rest.” He looked hurt but nodded his head and took his hand away.

“I understand.” I reached and took his hand back and lowered my head so he would look at me.

“I promise I will message you. I meant what I said when I said I was falling for you. I am upset but it doesn’t change the connection that we have so far.” I gave him a half-smile; I couldn’t help myself. He is still the same man that I have been talking to on the phone this whole time.

“Okay, I am sorry Clarissa.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“I get why you did it, I am just a little hurt about the lying.” He shook his head in agreement and grabbed my hand again. We sat in silence for a while until the waiter came in to ask us what we wanted to order to eat.

“Did you want to get something to eat Clarissa?” I thought about it and decided it would be better to just go home so I can sort this all out. If I stay any longer, I might forget that I am upset at all. He is already making me question my instincts.

“I should really go.” Derek looked disappointed but gave a light nod, letting me know that he understood.

“Okay,” he then looked at the waiter and told him he could leave. I grabbed my purse again and got up from my chair. He got up in sync with me and went in for a hug. I responded and we gave one another a deep embrace. He smelled so wonderful, his cologne smelled spicy and sweet. I could just melt in his arms. He pulled me back and came close to my face and paused. Before I could say anything, he lightly brushed his lips on mine. I gasped but welcomed the kiss and met his lips. He pulled back and gave me a crooked smile.

“You are even more beautiful in person. Those pictures you had up do not give you justice.” I blushed and smiled at him. I didn’t even have the energy to say thank you or deny it. I felt dizzy and it was hard to keep standing.