The Love Triangle

Meeting the Alpha

     My mom, Carson. and I all sit at our kitchen table. Carson and my mom explain to me a little more about how the werewolf lifestyle works. Carson says that I can join the Orion pack. My mom told me that my dad was the former pack Alpha, so I am actually a legacy. They explained a few other important werewolf concepts on top of it. It was a lot to take in.

     Carson says, "Normally, wolves shift for the first time when they are 16. Also, we spend our whole lives knowing we are wolves and preparing for different essential parts of wolf culture." I look confused. If we are supposed to know, why didn't I know?

     "Samuel," my mom says, "your dad was the Alpha of the Pack. He was one of the strongest Alphas of your pack's history. When you were born, you had the Alpha blood in you. Something which is really rare. Traditionally, when an Alpha dies, they pass the genes onto their child, but your father had a different vision for you since you were so young." My stomach sinks. What is she talking about? What was he so afraid of? "An Alpha's son is typically the victim of so many people. Hunters, other packs, warriors in the Pack who think they should be Alpha and more. He wanted to protect you, so he found a witch to help us. She charmed you, so you wouldn't shift or show any signs of being a wolf until you turned 18. Then, once a full moon happened, you would shift for the first time." I stare blankly, looking back and forth from Carson to my mom. They wait for me to say something, but I'm silent. "Are you ok?"

     "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just. This is a lot of information."

     "It's gonna be a lot of information for a while. Let's go to school. I can try to fill you in on more later." I nod to Carson. He walks with me to the car. 

     Carson and I get ready for school, and he’s taking me to school as usual. I have my arm resting on the middle console. When we get to a red light, he reaches to grab the gear shift but grabs my hand instead. I feel myself blush again. I have done that too many times over the last 2 days. Carson has made me do that too many times over the last two days, but when I look at him, he pulls his hand away. I ask, “What’s wrong?”

     “There’s something I haven’t told you about.” I look at him. A pit forms in my stomach. Carson doesn’t say anything else. My mind spirals through the different options. What has he not told me? “The Alpha of Orion pack is Jace.” I pull myself away from him. I feel sick. I want to vomit, but there’s nothing in my stomach to throw up. “and I’m no longer in the pack. I am a rogue wolf.” This is way too much information to process. How can he just be suddenly telling me all of this?!? I would jump out of the car if it weren’t moving. “Personally, I don’t think you should join.” He puts his hand on my thigh and I smack his hand away from me. I lay back my seat and turn my back toward him. I feel betrayed right now. The rest of the car ride is completely silent. I can’t even bother looking at him.

     We arrive at the school. I sit up my seat to leave the car. I can feel his eyes, looking at me. I can’t look at him. I get out of the car, but he grabs my hand when I try to leave. “Samuel, I-“ I flick my arm until he lets go of me. “Samuel!” he calls out from the driver’s side window. I head towards the building. I can’t deal with this right now. This is just too much. “Samuel! Please!”

     “Just stop.”

     “What did you want me to do?”

     “I don’t know! Maybe tell the truth! Just, stop.” I turn around to look at him. “Carson, I can’t even think right now. You already turned my world upside down and now you throw this on me. This is too much to handle. Just leave me alone. I need time to think.”

     “Wait. Sam-“

     “I’ll talk to you later. I promise. Just give me some time.” Carson looks defeated. His eyes don’t leave me as I walk away from him. I have never had a fight with Carson, and I don’t like how it feels. I don’t want to be angry with him, but he lied to me. My stomach wrings. I hate all of this.

     I think all the way to class. He walks in the room. “s**t!” I mutter under my breath. How did I forget that he is in my first period? Oh, God. This is awful. He sits on the other side of the room. It tugs at my heart a little, but I know I want space. I can’t process anything he told me if he is right next to me. Something inside me is whimpering. I hear the whimper echo into my soul.

     What am I supposed to do? I just learned that I’m a werewolf. The one thing everyone knows about werewolves is that they are part of a pack, and he tells me I shouldn’t join the pack. He kept everything from me. Then, knowing he kept all the information from me, he slept with me in the woods. He hurt me so much. I can’t focus the entire class. I can’t stop thinking about Carson, but I also keep feeling him stare at me. The bell rings and I get up to go to my next class. Carson and my eyes meet, but I look away immediately.

     When I’m walking to my next class, I see Jace. My stomach sinks down through the floor. I start hyperventilating. I don’t want to talk to him either. Jace walks up to me. Oh, God. Please make him go away. I can’t deal with this right now. A smell overtakes all my senses. My vision blurs blue. It’s his pheromones. Oh, my God. He smells delicious. “Hey Pup!”

     “It’s Samuel.”

     “For now, it’s Pup.” He says aggressively.

     “Ok-”

     “I heard you finally turned this weekend. Bit of a late bloomer."

     "It was my dad. He charmed me when I was younger to protect me." I retort begrudgingly. How dare Jace call me a late bloomer. 

     "It’s time for you to join the pack.” I want to tell him no. I want to tell him, ‘f**k off’. But I can’t. I have never recognized his pheromones before. I try to ignore them, but I can’t. They are so overpowering. He’s the same, standing over me. I feel so weak with him so close to me. “Meet me at this time, here.” He hands me a tiny piece of paper with some nearly illegible on it.

     “Ok,” I whimper. He sniffs the air around me, taking one giant last sniff right next to my neck. My heart beats rapidly. Is something wrong? What is he trying to smell?

     “You had s*x with the grey wolf.” My face gets red. My heart beats from fear. I think he means Carson. I nod yes. He grunts. His grunt is so powerful. I felt my knees give in and my stomach swirl. Oh, God! What have I done? What did sleeping with Carson mean? Why was it a bad thing?

     I spend the rest of the day out of focus. If you asked me any questions about the lectures today, I would not be able to answer them. Should I join the pack? Can I deal with Jace as the Alpha? Why was he so enticing? Why did I have no control over myself? Why is Carson a rogue wolf? Did he get kicked out? My head is spinning. I feel like I’m going to pass out. I’m two seconds away from a panic attack at any moment. This is all such a bad idea.

     The school day finishes, and I see Carson. He is worriedly pacing back and forth outside of his car. I walk up and he sees me. He reaches out to give a hug, but I shake my head no and stick up my hand to stop him. He looks down. “I’m sorry,” I say for rejecting his hug. I know it makes him more upset, but I just can’t do it right now. “I know you meant well. I’m not mad anymore. I just need to figure everything out a little more.”

     “That’s ok. Take all the time you need.” Him being nice to me makes this all so much damn harder. I don’t want him to be mad, but damn, this is so frustrating. Couldn’t he just beat me up or something? “What did you decide to do?” I gulped. The truth is I don’t know. How am I supposed to make a decision?

     “I don’t know yet. All I know is Jace invited me to the pack. He gave me a place to show up tonight. I decided I am going to go check it out. I want to know what it’s like to be in the pack before I make a final decision.” He looks at me with worried eyes. “I can’t let you make this decision or alter my decision for me. Especially if it was my dad’s old pack.” He looks flustered, and I look at him. “It’s going to be ok.” He sighs. It’s really cute when he cares about me. I want to be mad or upset with him. I know I’m supposed to be mad at him, but it’s so hard, especially when he’s so cute. We go the rest of the way in silence. He keeps trying to continue the conversation but restrains himself every time.

     That night, I’m waiting for Alpha to show up. I don’t know what to expect at all. I hear rustling happening in some bushes behind me. I turn around and two wolves jump on top of me. They hold me to the ground. Each of them is pushing down on a side of my body. I fight and struggle but can’t break free. A third wolf appears and covers my mouth with a rag. I breathe in, but the rag is covered in something. I cough and I start panicking. Whatever is on this towel is dangerous and deadly, I can feel it. My breath gets faint and my eyes start blinking until I pass out.