The Love Triangle

Sorry

(Andrew)

     Another school day has passed. I went on my own today. I didn’t want to talk to Carson after last night. I didn’t want to talk to Jace after last night. I think I just want to be alone. I’m putting my books away in my locker when a disgusting scent comes into my nose. Lux… “There’s another emergency Pack meeting.”

     “What if I don’t want to go?”

     “Jace needs you there. It’s important for you to be there tonight. You can’t miss it.”

     “If it’s so important, why didn’t you just kidnap me?” I say in spite. He gets up really close to me. The hairs on my neck raise.

     He whispers, “I wanted to, but Alpha wouldn’t let me.”

     My head spirals through all the billions of potential reasons for the pack meeting. I am nervous. I don’t like anything about the situation. And why didn’t Jace tell me about it himself? Why did he make Lux tell me for him? All of this feels so wrong.

     I get through the rest of the day. Questions flow through my mind, but it doesn’t help me at all. I look across the hall and see Jace. He turns around after he sees me, shrugging me off. My heart sinks. This doesn’t feel right. I am now more scared than earlier. I want to follow after him. A feeling inside of me reaches and whimpers to get back after him, but I know I can’t. I go to my locker. I stand there for a second and don’t want to move anymore.

     Carson comes up next to me. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have pushed you when I know you are confused.”

     “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s ok. It’s my fault too.” I give a faint smile to him. He keeps rambling, but I can’t pay attention. “Are you ok? Is something wrong?”

     “I don’t know. There’s an emergency meeting at the pack. I think something’s wrong. Lux said that Jace specifically needs me there.”

     “Sorry to hear that, but I’m sure it’s fine.” He notices just how stressed and upset I am. “Hey. Relax! I’m sure it’s gonna be fine.” His reassurance calms me down. I just hope that his instincts are right.

     I close my locker and see Jace again overlooking through the hallway. Carson keeps talking about stuff, but I’m too focused on Jace to care about what he’s been talking about. I felt someone staring at me since Carson came up. I just didn’t realize it. He has been staring at me in some type of trance where he can’t realize I see him. His eyes don’t shine like they usually do when I’m with him or show the usual anger he portrays to everyone else. His eyes are darker, looking hollow and sorrowful. I’ve never seen him like this. It’s almost like he’s hurting. When he comes to and sees that I am staring back, he hides again. A lump forms in my throat. I don’t know what’s off with him.

(Jace)

     I can’t stop peaking my head out to see him in the hallway. I just keep staring at him. He is so happy when he talks to Carson. I hate seeing him that happy when it has nothing to do with me. It makes my wolf scream inside my head. s**t! He saw me. I pull away, so he can’t see me again. I can’t believe that I’m gonna have to do this.

     I peak my head out again when I know he isn’t looking at me anymore. Tonight, I’m gonna have to punish the pup for insubordination and betrayal. He is gonna have to fight me. I am gonna have to defeat him in a Brwydro. I don’t know if I can do this. s**t! His smile always brightens my day, but not today. s**t! He saw me looking at him. I head off not being able to look at him anymore. It’s breaking my heart. My wolf is howling. This is gonna destroy me as much as I have to destroy him.

     Each minute felt never-ending, but each hour felt like minutes. Now, it’s 6:53 pm. I’m sitting at the wardrobe. The same place where weeks ago I was with Samuel. I wanted to jump on him that night. I wanted to feel his soft, slender lips so badly back then. He is like the apples in the Garden of Eden. The minute. No, the second I tasted him, I couldn’t want anything else. I just wanted him every single second of every single day. Right now, though, I wish I had never met him. It’s crazy how so much can change in such a short amount of time.

     Now, everything is so different. In 7 minutes, I make an announcement of the Brwydro. I don’t wanna do it, but I don’t have a choice. When Carson was exiled and excommunicated, the pack was no longer to communicate with him. It’s my duty as an Alpha to enforce our laws and oversee our punishments for breaking the Law of the Pack. At least, that’s what I need to tell myself cause it makes it easier for me to do it. Yeah… that’s why I have to do it. I have to protect the Law of the Pack.

     I stand up against the mirror for the final preparations. I pull my shirt off. Then, I dawn the Alpha’s cape. The most important garment I wear as an Alpha. The thing which connects me to the original Alpha and all those who followed him. Alpha Robert would be so disappointed in me at this moment for how I am about to treat his son. Stop it! An Alpha doesn’t feel mercy. We can’t feel mercy. I move the war paint across my cheekbones.

     Each stroke of my fingers across my face reminds me of when Samuel did it. He was so sweet and tender. He was also so exact with it, trying to do it perfectly. Tears form in my eyes. My heart is breaking. My wolf is howling. I can’t look at myself in the mirror anymore. I feel like such a weak Alpha. I should be strong enough to protect the person I care about, but I should also be strong enough to be my Alpha and not showing mercy when a Pack member breaks our rules. My Beta walks through the Alpha’s tent. He gives me the look I have been dreading since the meeting of the Council Elders. It’s time to address the Pack.

     “Council Elders, Betas, Gammas and Deltas, Omegas. I address you today with distressing news. We received reports that a wolf in our pack has broken the Law of the Pack and communicated with the Rogue wolf who was excommunicated from our society. Gamma Samuel, come forward to receive your punishment.

(Samuel)     

     Alpha walks out of the tent. He always looks so handsome when he’s in the Alpha garments; they perfectly contrast his strong, sharp critique. Although, there is something wrong to explain why he is in the garments. They are only for large celebrations, important events or Alpha Business. He doesn’t wear them at normal pack meetings. I don’t know any reasons which would imply the first or second reason which means there is significant Alpha business to deal with. I have forgotten to listen from staring at the Alpha. Suddenly, I hear my name called out and followed by… the word punishment.

     My heart sinks like before. What did he just say? I step forward. My heart is beating erratically. I knew better, but I decided against the rules. Now, there’s going to be some type of consequences. Suddenly, I realize why he gave me such a look earlier. This is why he looked so hurt and why he wouldn’t look me in the eyes.

     Lux steps forward smugly. He stands just below Jace to the right. I want to fight him again. I want to punish him. I know this is all his doing. He never liked me, and he hated that I was friends with the former Beta. He’s also mad cause I beat him. He knows he will never be strong enough or good enough to be the Beta and only got the position cause a technicality. Lux speaks, “The punishment for this betrayal/treason, as decided by the Council of Elders, will be a Brwydro between the Alpha and the Gamma.” My vision fades. Did he just saw what I think he said? I have been given a death wish. Lux looks at me maliciously. Jace looks at me in pain.

     Three wolves around me shove me into the pit. I stumble and roll into the center pillar. I shriek quietly from the pain. This isn’t a good way to start a fight. Alpha rises. Just seeing him rise hurts me. He lifts his arms. The other Gammas lift the cape and crown off of him. He stands at the edge of the pit and jumps, landing with a crash in the pit. I rise back up from my feet. Lux chants, “Let the Brwydro commence!”

     The Alpha stands tall like a skyscraper. My arms feel like they are made of lead, but I have no choice except to lift my hands and fight. He stands so triumphantly over me. Why is he so tall? How does he look so perfect even before this fight? His pheromones are still driving me crazy. They aren’t his angry pheromones. They are something new that I have never experienced from him. I look in his eyes. They are still just as hollow at school. These are the eyes that will haunt me forever. I can tell he doesn’t want to fight me, but he still looks like he is going to hurt me, and like he’s going to do whatever he needs to finish this fight.

     I can’t win this fight. There is literally no way for me to be able to win this fight. He’s the Alpha. I want to run away, but I know that won’t solve anything. I know I have to fight, and I know I’m going to lose.

     Alpha moves forward.  His fists raised up for the fight. I gulp. I feel tears welling up behind my eyes from fear, but I don’t have time for that right now. He punches a right jab. I barely escape in time. I feel the wind flow from his strike across my cheek. I put all of my power into a punch to his liver. I hit him perfectly, but he isn’t fazed at all. I might as well have not hit him. Goddess. He’s so strong and powerful. That’s incredible. Focus, Samuel. He is trying to kill you right now.

     I pull back, trying to get distance from him before he attacks again, but I’m met with a fist directly to the nose. I feel it shatter. I whimper out the tiniest sound, hoping he can’t hear it. My face swelling up already. Blood gushing down my nose and face like a geyser. I already feel weak and defeated. Just the one punch has already taken so much out of me. I don’t know how long I can actually last in this fight. I know from training that I don’t have the stamina to keep up with Alpha. He rips his hand upward, claws unleashed and slashes my abs. “Aahhh” I call out from the pain and stumble backwards. His poison infects my bloodstream. My veins burn with pain. The toxins weaken me even more and more.

     Alpha backs up. I am relieved. I keep moving backwards until I find the center rock pillar at my back. I blink my eyes, and suddenly, he stands right in front of me again. He sends a first punch, but I can dodge it. I have a second to catch my breath, but he spins, and the back of his other fist connects to my jaw like an uppercut. My jaw snaps in my mouth. I feel myself spin in the air only to plummet to the ground, landing on my stomach. I bite my tongue to hold in any noises. I want to whimper and cry out in pain but can’t afford to give him the satisfaction. At this point, all of my senses have disappeared- either being swollen or shattered. My jaw is destroyed, and my mouth is full of blood. A high-pitched ringing sound blocks all hearing. My nose feels shattered beyond recognition, and my eyes are near swollen shut. I am completely defenseless.

     I start to cry. I use the little strength left in me to push up my upper body. The moonlight disappears from around me. I look up and see the Alpha stand over me again. I have never felt so afraid. The lights behind him form a shadow of a tall, skulking figure ready to destroy me. My breath gets lighter as more tears form in my eyes.

     I force myself back to my feet. I feel my whole body exhausted. I try to lift my arms up again, but I can’t move them anymore. The tiny breaks in my swollen eyes are covered in blood and tears, blocking out my vision. The bright light shining from the moon overbears the last bit of vision I have left. I can only see shadows and blobs. I try to take a step forward but stumble into Alpha’s chest. Even when he is killing me, his chiseled abs still feel tantalizing and incredible to the touch. They give me a moment of bliss before Jace kills me. I wish we were together under different circumstances.

(Jace)

     I want this fight to stop. I wish I could quit, but quitting would mean that I am a weak Alpha. It would also mean if Lux determined the punishment was not complete, he could intervene and make Samuel’s punishment worse. Samuel could give up, but I know he’s not going to. He might be in pain, but he’s still too stubborn to give up if he can still fight. I wish I could end this, but I have no power. The only way to end this is for Jace to call the match over; I know he won’t though. He wants to see Samuel suffer more than anyone else. He wants to hurt Samuel, therefore hurting Carson at the same time.

     My wolf is clawing out like he never has before. When he falls against my chest, it me takes me to another world. That is where I want to stay, but I can’t. I want to hold him and promise I won’t ever hurt him again and tell him how I feel about him, but I can’t. I need to focus. I need to be the Alpha. Snapping back into focus. I push him off me. He stumbles more; his arms swing, but when he tries to lift them, they instantly fall down. I realize there is no longer life in him. Samuel is broken. He has no energy or spirit left in him.

     I can sense how he’s feeling right now. He is on the brink of death, but this fight still isn’t even close to being finished. As I said before, this fight can only be ended from Samuel or from Beta. Samuel has too much pride and stubbornness to concede. Goddess! He’s so brave. That’s what I’ve always admired in him since I met him. He is on the brink of death, full of pain and no energy left, and he is still fighting. s**t! Why can’t I focus?!? I look back up at Lux. He almost seems proud of the predicament he’s created. He didn’t like Samuel in the beginning, but he got more pissed when Samuel beat him in a fight. wanted to punish Samuel since the same moment we met him. Lux would kill him instantly if he was given the opportunity.

     Samuel staggers on his feet. Blood covers his face and chest. I’m also covered in his blood. This is ridiculous. This is unethical. I want this to stop. It feels like someone else has taken over my body since I have no other choice but to continue. I feel like a puppet being controlled by a puppet master, and the only way to escape is to live out my worst nightmare.

     I lift my foot and kick him in the sternum. He is sent backwards into the wall of the pit. He winces loudly. His cries feel like individual knives stabbing and piercing into my heart. His body lays lifelessly on the ground. I notice that he left an imprint on the wall. I think it reaches as far back as a foot deep. Samuel stops moving. He doesn’t try to get up or move at all. A pit in my stomach thinks I might have accidentally killed him.

     I look up at my Beta who responds with a stern face. I nod begrudgingly. I have to keep going. I trudge forward with each and every single step growing more painful. My feet feel like lead weights. I want this all to be over. I am living my greatest nightmare right now. Every time, Lux tells me to continue. It feels like I am restarting and reliving it. Once I am closer to him, Samuel finally acknowledges me. I think he couldn’t see me from more than 2 feet away from his face. He looks up at me with so much fear. His eyes used to shine brighter than the North Star, but tonight, right now, they are darker than the pits of Hell.

     He tries to crawl away from me. I hear whimpers and groans gravelly escaping his mouth. I feel like I’m willingly drinking poison. Samuel is my kryptonite. I keep getting closer and closer to him since he is too weak to escape.

(Samuel)

     How could Jace do this to me? I knew he was an Alpha, but I always thought that maybe I was special to him. I thought I would be different. And I thought he was different from the bullies and people who made fun of me before I met Carson, but tonight, I learned the truth. I learned he is just as evil as I used to think he was. Tonight, he showed his true colors. I try harder and harder to run away. Tears keep filling my eyes and rushing down my face. My breathing is labored. I want to escape, but I can’t. All I can do is crawl more  I feel him lurking. At this point, I pray for death. I pray that the Goddess ends my suffering. He lifts me up, holding me by the neck to choke me as my body hangs. “No. No. NO! Please, let me go!” I cry out, hoping he will stop. Hoping I can reach the real Jace who shared that night with me in his hut.

     Jace continues holding me by the neck as he looks again at the Beta, but the Beta remains unflinching. He drops me to the ground. I have no choice but to collapse on my back. He straddles me. For a split second, I remember that magical night we spent together during the full moon, but tonight is nothing like then. He lifts his right fist to punch me again. I see my blood shimmer in the moonlight over his chest and fists. He lands the first fist. I groan. He pulls back again and punches again. Blood sprays from me onto his face and more onto his chest like the war paint he initially dawned for the fight. I don’t know how much blood is left in my body.

     “Jace…” I plead with my last breath. My beaten eyes slowly blink shut, but not before seeing visible tears shimmer from the Alpha’s eyes. For a split second, before I go under, I think I hear him crying. His fist makes contact with my face for a final time. I go into darkness.

(Jace)

     Thank the Goddess. He’s finally unconscious. The Brwydro is over. The crowd cheers, but my ears are ringing. I feel like my soul is completely disconnected from my body. I have no time or desire to acknowledge my pack. I want to pull him out of the pit myself and get him to the hospital, but I can’t.

     Multiple feelings overtake me. Even though I hate myself for what I’ve done, I keep getting angry when I think of him with the Rogue. I also keep thinking of the night we spent together. I keep thinking of the fear and pain that he looked at me with just before he lost consciousness. He wouldn’t want me to tend to his wounds anyway. I know how upset he would be if I were the person he sees when he wakes up. I don’t think he’ll ever want to talk to me again. So I leave him there.

     Tears stand at the ready at my eyes, but I need to hold them in. I am still the Alpha and I cannot show weakness or emotion. I climb out of the Wolf pit. I need to get out of there. As far as I am concerned, I performed my Alpha duties. I don’t care what anyone else thinks anymore tonight. The wolves scamper out of my way. I don’t even wait to receive their bows and respect. My Beta comes towards me and I shove him out of the way. I definitely don’t want to see him right now. I will deal with him and his betrayal later. I mind-link, ‘Find him. He needs you.’

     I get into my Alpha hut, lock the door, and drop to my knees. All I can do now is cry. I just let out all the frustrating emotions and cry. I haven’t cried since becoming Alpha. I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much in my life even before becoming Alpha. I hear a knock at my hut. “Go away!” I yell. I don’t care who it is anymore. When I scream, I see myself in the mirror. I look like a monster covered with the blood of the person I care most about. I look like the boogeyman. I understand why I saw so much fear from Samuel. I hate myself so much. I hate everything about me. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself.

(Carson)

     I don’t feel right about anything tonight. I sent a text message to Samuel since he hasn’t come back yet, but he hasn’t responded. I know he doesn’t have to message me back but messaging me would really calm all my nerves. He was really nervous earlier. I just want to know that he’s ok. I don’t trust Jace or Lux. ‘Find him. He needs you.’ A voice haunts me. I know that mind-link. I know that tortured mind. That’s Jace. Samuel’s in trouble!

     My wolf erupts! I let him take over, so he can run at full speed. is howling. I hurt. I should’ve sensed it. I should’ve sensed something was wrong with him. I should’ve known there was something wrong. He is only in trouble cause me. This is all my fault. I run and run and run until I get to the wolf pit. I don’t stop in time and stumble into the pit. “Samuel?” He groans. Hearing that sound come from his hurts me.

     I find him completely covered in blood. He has gashes, cuts, scrapes and more all over his body. His jaw is broken, his nose is destroyed, and both his eyes are swollen shut. He almost looks unrecognizable.  His neck has Jace’s handprints surrounding it from when Jace choked him. I run down to his sides to see if there is any more damage. “Samuel. Samuel. Please. Are you ok? Please. Answer me.” Samuel’s eyes flutter ever so slightly. I want more from him, but I know I can’t expect much more. “Why aren’t you healing?”

         In between wheezes, Samuel responds, “Alpha”. He takes a jagged breath. “Poison”. I reach over and hug him. He winces and I feel terrible, but I need to hold him in this moment. I almost lost him tonight, and I will keep holding on to him until he is completely healed up. Until then, I will never, ever let him go.

     "I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” I burst out in tears over Samuel.