Loving you I lost myself

Chapter 12

Noah's POV

Late last night I received a call fom an unknown number, fearing it might be Elise I dont awnser but the third time I pick up.

I'm surprised to hearJaing Jang Xia on the other end of the line.

"Noah, don't tell me u have already forgotten about me?"

I hear her say on the other side.

"I came all the way to California just to see you"

Upon hearing she was now in California a sudden excitement creeps up.

It must be the lack of s****l activity thats causing this, because I am sure I don't feel anything else towards her.

Before she can continue I tell her I'll send her my address and that she should meet me tomorrow morning.

I cut the call and text her my location than place my phone on my side table.

These last few days with Elaine was beautiful, but she also drove my hormones crazy everytime we would touch I would have a slight boner and it was causing me alot of discomfort.

I spent alot of time jerking of and I wasn't getting that release you get from having s*x, waiting for things with Elaine to progress was very hard, I had to admit.

But now that this girl was here I could get rid of this frustration with no strings attached, she would be heading back home after her short visit, so I would be able to have a small rondivu with her and get back to my progressing relationship with Elaine.

Or thats what I thought.

The next morning I follow our routine we had established over the past few days and after we come back, I take a shower than head back downstairs than start my little lies.

We are standing in the kitchen, Elaine was busy making some breakfast.

"Ah, Elaine, I'm heading down to the beach"

And before she can answer or question me I head out.

I didnt want to lie to her but I really needed a release, and I didnt want to get it from the girls around here as I was scared of Elaine finding out.

When I reached the beach, Jaing Jang Xia is already there .

She heads over to me and hugs me not forgetting to kiss my neck in the process.

We start catching up while walking along the beach, than we head up to my house.

We sit on the portch chatting and laughing and I suggest we head up to my room and she know what I want.

Mom told me Elaine would be going out today so when she is still in the kitchen when we enter I was shocked.

I didn't want to introduce her to Jaing Jang Xia, f**k I didn't want her to even know of her existence, but before I can escape, she bumps into me and she takes notice of the girl next to me, I was f****d.

So what els could I do?

I introduced them to each other but Jaing Jang Xia

Just nods before grabbing my arm and asks me infront of Elaine about showing her my room.

Fuck...

Not wanting to cause any more trouble I grab her hand and take her upstairs.

In my room as soon as I locked the door,we start making out.

I completely forgot that Elaine was down stairs.

I need to f**k this girl now.

Soon her hands are in my trousers and my hands are on her breast not stopping to kiss for even a moment,

By now I can feel my d**k hardning but It's not there yet so I closed my eyes and started thinking about Elaine, within seconds my d**k is rock hard, not waisting a second I literally ripped her clothes off so I can just get this over with. Our clothes are now on the floor and we are on my bed, she starts by suck my d**k hard and fast, when she let's go I flip her over on her stomach, I grab a condom and slip it on before slipping into her, closing my eyes I start f*****g her hard and fast, imagining that it's Elaine infront of me, I hold onto her waist, trusting deep, she soon changes positions and she is now on top, I grab her one breast in my hand the other in my mouth sucking and Bitting at her n****e, she let's out a maon and I push her onto her back covering her mouth with my one hand, I don't need Elaine to hear Jaing Jang Xia, screaming as I f**k her.

If she was still around.

I place her legs on my shoulders, and start trusting into her again, closeing my eyes every time.

Fucking her wasn't easy because in the back of my mind I still wonder If Elaine was in the kitchen or maybe in her room...

When I think of this I start losing concentration.

Fuck...

Whats happening to me...

I stop thinking about all that, and I only picture how this girl I'm busy f*****g was Elaine.

That was my only option at that moment.

Soon enough I'm back in action when I feel her walls tightenand I know she was about to c*m, so I increased my speed, trusting into her harder and soon my d**k starts pounding, this release makes up for all the others.

Yes jerking of with Ell on my mind felt good as well but...

Sex...

It's completely different.

I drop her legs and lay next to her, she places her head on my chest.

I look down at her, placing my hands over my face.

I feel guilty knowing I broke my promise to be good when I came back, and also for doing this while I knew Elaine might be somewhere in the house, but I couldn't help it, I needed to get it out off my system.

I get up, grabbing my boxers and a t-shirt.

As I slip them on I head to the door checking and listening for a sound in the house when I think the coast is clear I sneak Jaing Jang Xia into the bathroom.

She takes a shower and I head in after her we go back to my room where we chat for a while before heading downstairs.

When I don't see Elaine around I look out to the drive way and uncle Dan's car isn't hear.

I feel relieved and kind of weird knowing she wasn't around.

After four rounds of hot s*x I send Jaing Jang Xia back feeling relieved that she understood my situation.

But night fall Elaine still haven't returned so when mom gets home I ask her,

"So, mom, I haven't seen Elaine since this morning, do you know where she is?"

Mom smiles at me than hands me her phone showing me the Text Elaine sent her just after 3 and I didn't feel happy about this bcause I was hoping to spend some time with her, seeing I haven't seen her the whole afternoon.

And I thought we were getting close enough that she would actually text me also to say she wasn't coming home.

I sigh as I head up stairs.

In my room I text Elaine.

"Hey, so about earlier, that girl was just a friend and she left right after you did"

I lie to her once more.

"I hope you aren't upset, mom told me u at Amy's, text me when u get this".

I lie on my bed think about the whole scene that played out in the kitchen this morning and my stomic starts to turn, my chest tighten at the thought that maybe she left after hearing what was happening up stairs.

Fuck...

I wait for over an hour before checking my phone but still no relpy from her.

I decide to wait knowing she might be having fun with Amy, some alone girl time.

she has been spending all her free time with me.

So I return my phone to my side table and head down stairs for dinner.

I take my usual place, but the fact that the seat in front of me is emty feels weird.

I decide to brush all my upset feelings aside and have dinner as fast as possible so I can catch the football came with Uncle Dan that's about starting in a few minutes.

After dinner mom is in the kitchen making us some snacks and during the game I keep looking around like I'm trying to find someone, and I know exactly who I'm looking for...

Elaine.

My mom seems to notice, she come sits next to me giving my hand a squeeze before handing me a ice gold beer.

I take it and take a few sips, my nerves calm down a bit and right now I'm glad my mom is around.

We watch the game, and cheer everytime they make a touch down.

Soon the game is over and me and Uncle Dan discuss all the penalties and whatnots after the game.

When mom tell Uncle Dan she's going to bed I look at the wall clock and see it's past 12,so I also decide to make my move, greeting Uncle Dan and mom, I head up stairs.

The game was a great distraction but now I hurry to check my phone knowing that by now Elaine must have replied to my text.

When I check my phone , I feel disappointed, there's a few text from Jaing Jang Xia, and one from Jason.

I open Jasons text first.

"Hey Noah, glad to hear from Amy, that you gave Elaine some space. I think you need to slow things down with Elaine, Amy said that Elaine's told her she might be falling in love with you, but dude take my advice, she doesn't know anything about ur past so I'm sure its guna blow up in ur face if you guys get together before she finds out everything, I know you really like her, but just slow down. "

I feel annoyed after reading Jason's text, but some what exited after knowing she feels the same way about me, maybe she will confess to me when she comes home.

I realize that the last few weeks time spend together did alot of good, so I'm not bothered by the rest of Jason's text, because once she is sure about her feelings, I feel my past wont matter to her.

I might be naive, but I feel kind of sure about it.

So than I open the other text. The fist one reads.

"your still great in bed, mwa had fun earlier today, hipe we can do it again soon..."

Than the other one.

"Noah, I am not sure were to go tomorrow, as I don't know California so well, so I hope you can take me around if you have time."

After careful reconstruction, I decided to let her know I'll pic her up at her place,tomorrow.

I mean Elaine won't be back till Sundays so I can get rid of some more s****l tention, and when Elaine gets back, we can pic up where we left of... Falling in love.

The next morning I picked Jaing Jang Xia up and took her around California we ended up back at her place and well spent the rest of the day having s*x, only having short breaks to catch our breath and refule before going at it again.

By 7:45, laying on her bed still completely naked, I feel tierd but good, I reach for my phone and see I still dont have any new text.

I sigh.

Than I take a quick shower before we have dinner together and I head home.

Before I leave we make plans for tomorrow, knowing that it will be our last day together.

I get home and recieved a text.

Its from Jason.

I open it.

It's a screen shot of Elaine and Amy.

They are all dressed up but you can't see were they are or what they are doing,Elaine looks happy so I don't think about it anymore and send Jason a tumbs up.

At home I followed my usual routine, and by the time I checked my phone again it's already past 11.

So I head upstairs and take a shower before retreating to bed.

Before I can sleep my phone goes off.

"ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,"

There are like 5 pictures updates from Amy's i********: profiles.

Curious about how Elaine's doing I open them, the caption reads. "drowning our sorrows".

Why drowning there sorrows...

Was she missing Jason?

I scrawl through the pics and they are all of Elaine and Amy and a few others, I don't know any of them except for one guy very close to Elaine.

Owen Watson.

Fuck, whats he doing with them?

He was Amy's cousin, but still did she invite him.

I open Owen's i********: and the update picture on his post sends chills down my spine the caption reads "finally reunited with my first love.

The picture is of Owen arms wrapped around Elaine's waist while her arms are around his neck while both looking at the person who is taking the picture.

I remember the the first time Elaine heard Owen's name from me, she seems sad, maybe they were lovers before I met him.?

Did he actually tell her about our f****d up past.

Is that why she was "DROWNING HER SORROWS"

I can feel my chest tighten, like I can't breath.

I scrawl through my contacts and find Elaine's number and dail it, its going straight to voice mail, I try a few more times, but the same thing happens, maybe her phone was turned off.

I open i********: again and the time stamps on Amy's pic are from 8:15 but Owen's time stamp is are 10:45,

Have they been together the whole evening?

I trow my phone on my bed, falling back agains the pillow.

All kinds of things go through my mind, and the worst thing I can imagen is Owen have s*x with My Elaine.

Helping her get over me, even before we could officially start dating...

Now I'm super stressed I am going to die If I don't hear from Elaine soon.

By 2am I get another notification.

Again i********:.

I open it It Owen's post.

Again it's him with Elaine in his arms.

But this one is captioned.

"My new start, with the love of my life".

I feel like exploding.

I jump up passing up and down in my room.

I need to get to Amy's ASAP.

But I don't even know if they are home yet, or if they're even at Amy's.

I feel frustrated.

I sit on the floor infront of my bed my knees raised to my chest I rest my arms on my knees, I'm trying to stay calm... Not think to much but the mintue I see the sunrise, I grab my T-shirt and jeans grab my phone and rush down stairs.

I grab my keys and head out.

On the way I decided I will head to Amy's fisrt hoping to God Elaine is there and not at Owen's.

When I reached Amy's apartment I start trembling.

Not knowing what I might find.

After a few deep breaths I get out of the car and head up.

It's quite on the inside, and I want to knock but than I remember Jason also has a key and he always leave it in the mailbox.

Sure enough it's there.

Keys in my hand, trembling like crazy.

I take another few breaths calming my self down.

I insert the key and unlock the door as quietly as possible.

Inside I see about 10 people passed out all over Amy's lounge, but I don't see Amy, or Elaine or for that matter Owen, again my heart starts racing as I walk down the passage, the geust room door is closed and also the master bedrooms..

Deciding to open the geust room door first, I open it slowly but there is no one inside now I'm in a fit of rage not wasting any more time I open the main bedroom door...

Sure enough on the bed is Amy, and Elaine but also Owen...

Amy is lying in front of Elaine on her side back turned to Elaine, and Elaine is lying with her face toward Amy her back to Owen.

When I see how close Owen's body is to Elaine's his one hand over her waist I lose all my senses.

Before I could even calm down I pull Owen out of bed, he wakes up and tries to get up but the minute he is to his feet I punch him with all my anger, in my fist, right on his jaw, he hits the bed side table with so much force the noise wakes up the whole house.

Amy soon leaps out of bed and also Elaine.

When our eyes meet I feel extreme heart ace, I grab her wrist janking her out of the door behind me.,but she pulls her wrist out of my hand, when I swing around she is In Owen's arm.

Did she really find out the truth, is she really choosing Owen.

He was as f**k up as me...

I stand there frozen unable to move or breath, Owen's arm are wrapped around her shoulders her face in his chest.

I can't breath I need to leave...

When Amy realized what was happening she came forward trying to explain but I don't give her a chance.

"f**k you Amy, this is all your fault.!" I scream at her, before storming out the door.

If she didn't invite Elaine, or Owen non of this was going to happen, I was going to tell her before she could hear it from anyone else, as specially Owen.

How could I be so stupid.

I reached my car got in and slamming the door shut I start my car and leave.

While I am driving I can feel tears clouding my vision so I pull over, I see the beach and get out heading straight to the water...

When I reach the beach I fall to my knees and let out all my pain, anger and frustration in one loud cry.

"ahhhhhhhhhhh..."

It sit on my ass, my hand in the sand beside me, looking over the open ocean as tears are now freely flowing.

I have never felt this much pain, not since the day dad left. That was the last time I cried and the last time u was this devastated.

I just sit there....

Why the f**k didn't I tell her before every thing happened.

Why couldn't I just wait for her to have s*x again.

I was the actual reason for this mess.

I shouldn't be blaming Amy.

I should blame me.

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