DEAD ALIVE

KIDS

"Sara", I called in a sing song voice while entering the house with my hands behind me.

I could hear their footsteps as they ran down to see why I was calling, Sara folded her arms in front of her as she reached the last step.

"what",she asked making me roll my eyes at her antics she's thinks that she is all grown up now.

"look i bought you a present", I said showing her the little white kitten in my hands they both scream clearly excited as they ran to me, Sara took the kitten from me playing with the cutie.

"I love it Nadia thank you", Sara said hugging my legs tightly, I smiled rolling my eyes, so now she thank me. kids will always be kids she was calling me a slave just moments ago and stopping her brother from touching me yet here she was now hugging my legs and won't let go.

"ok now, Sara look its getting away", I said as she quickly went after it grabbing the poor thing so tightly.

"so what do you want to name it", I asked joining them to pet the kitten but Henry wouldn't even let any of us touch it.

"meow,let's call it meow", sara said making me laugh,i let the kids be while i went on to start with lunch.

I wasn't feeling as gloomy as I did in the morning because I spoke to Ceaser about it and the smile on they children faces just made everything better and less depressing.

I could hear they kids talking with their father and he wasn't happy,I had totally forgotten that I was a slave in the masters house and I needed his permission before bringing anything into his house.

I am in so much trouble, firstly i left the house without permission and secondly I brought a kitten into his house again without permission.

I heard his footsteps approaching and I quickly busy my self with washing dishes that I have already washed before just to not look ideal.

"master",I said acknowledging his presence before i went back to what i was doing,I am so dead.

"i didn't give you permission to leave this house but somehow you did and you even brought a present with you,I will deal with you in a way that you would learn to never disrespect me ever again".

he said before walking away, maybe I over step but I think that he was over reacting i always do as he says and I hardly ever disrespect him.

I was afraid honestly of what he was going to do to me he was angry but calm at the same time that scares me even more.

I watch as they children ate their food in a haste so they could go play with meow, the poor thing just wanted to sleep but Henry wasn't having any of it.

I myself couldn't concentrate on anything for the fear of master, what is he going to do to me for disrespecting him as he puts it.

I waited in the kitchen for master to return from God knows where my eyes were heavy I desperately needed to sleep.

the door cracks open and I silently thank the heavens while closing my eyes.

"Nadia", I heard my name and i quickly went to the sitting room to answer I almost roll my eyes at the sight of Andrew.

I stood there looking at him and him at me, what an i***t so ugly I thought wanting to hurt him.

"come with me" he said going to the door, I just stood there staring at this i***t who did he think he is coming here to give me orders.

"I don't have permission from my master to follow you anywhere sir",I said with an attitude.

"since when do you need his permission", he said grabbing my arms and pulling me with him, his grip was so tight i thought he was aming to break my bone.

I began to panic as I caught up with where we were heading to, it was master's favorite place to be at, his torture room which he adore so very much may I add.

I stopped walking but Andrew pull me harded with him until we got to the building he kicked the door open before forcefully pushing me in, I landed face first in front of master.

I know what was coming for me, my stomach felt so weird I wanted to throw up with fear,my body was badly trembling with fear of the unknown and anxiety.

I tried getting up but master's feet wouldn't let me,he pressed my face harder into the dirt ground,tiny stones pierce through my skin as I tried hard not to scream.

i didn't know which pain to focus on more, the pressure on my neck was excruciating but so was the pain on my face.

I felt so helpless and defeated right now I just wish that he would get his feet off my hurting neck, he and they remaining men in the room spoke so casually about their lives as though I wasn't fighting for my life beneath masters feet.

he finally removed his feet from my neck, kicking my stomach as i struggle to breath from all the dust that I have eaten.

I let Andrew tied me up without a fight I just didn't have it in me to fight back right now.

he torn my dress open exposing my upper part, I cried hard I was so ashamed of myself right now, I felt so worthless and stupid.

I wanted to die right now the humiliation of every single one of this disgusting men seeing me like this was just too much to bear.

Andrew and the rest of the men went out of the building leaving me and master, I was hanging from the roof with my toes bearly touching the ground my arms felt like the were going to dislocate from my shoulders I was in real pain.

I began crying the moment I saw master taking off his suit and grabbing his whipp from where he hangs it,I was shivering badly by now I needed divine intention right now.

he was coming to me I felt time slow down on me because of the type of whipped that he had in his hands.

that was the worst type of whipped that there is the one line with tiny pieces of glass that would tear through your skin drawing blood immediately.

that type of whipped have never been use on me before I guess this would be my first and probably my last because I would be dead after this one.

"you have obviously been taking me for granted, I have been so so good to you because of your relationship with my children but you have taken advantage of that kindness way to much", he said hitting me once .

"I have never been this kind to any nigga before, like I have been with you,but that's what you get for been good to a f*****g nigga" he said with hate oozing out of him before he began whipping me.

I am going to die my body hurts so very badly I was bleeding badly but he was still whipping me I couldn't even beg anymore I had no voice, I had no strength left in me I just hang there and wait for when it's time to go.

it was over finally but I was already half way gone,my back was a mess of blood my nose was bleeding and so was my lips my eyes were swollen and I didn't have any voice left.

I knew that he had left the room even though my eyes were close, I wanted to die I just wanted it to be over, I wanted the pain to fade away I didn't want to survive this even if there was a chance that i may.

I close my eyes remembering everything that was dear to me, at least I would get to be with my brother again, I only wish that I had made things right with Anna before now, and my Ceaser I wish that he had agreed to marry me.

I need this darkness it was good for me, so I let it take me.

~~~

"I think she's waking up".

"move please, let her breath".

it felt as if I was dreaming, I think that i am still alive,I can hear voices, I can hear Anna, I can hear her mother and many other voices my head was about to explode.

I finally was able to open my eyes,I could make out figures of people,I could see Anna, mama jess, Anna's mom and some other people from my community.

"how are you doing child",Anna's mom asked confirming my suspiciou that i was still alive I just burst out crying,I didn't know if I was crying because of all the pain I was feeling or because i was still alive or because of what awaits me hereafter.

crying it all out made me feel a tad bit better, I laid my head on Anna's lap but none of us said anything.

there was nothing to say actually,i had nothing to say so I was best that we stay silent.

I really did not want to get better because then I would have to go back to that awful place I would have to see that man.

I wish I could just run away but that is out of my options right now I couldn't even fake being sick forever i know that he would want me back and working by tomorrow as long as i was wake then I was fit to start work.

I was scared of bathing because i didn't want the pain that comes with the water hitting my wounds.

food was the last thing on my mind right now I was living in fear that Andrew would burst through the door at any moment now and take me back to the masters house.

I wonder how they kids were managing without me right now but I am sure that they will be fine with or without me.

I wonder how meow was doing i wasn't sure if the kids knew how to take care of it or not but I do know that meow was in good hands.

I wasn't sure if master would let them keep the cat but if not then i would be happy to bring it back to mama jess place she would love it.

I close my eyes not in the mood to talk as I spot ceaser coming into the room, Anna stood up and left the room while ceaser sat in her place.

"I am so sorry this happened to you", he said kissing my head he didn't say anything again because i started crying.

he held me patiently as I cry none stop I hated everything about this, the whole slave community in our plantation was talking about me, I hated the pity and attention that I got from the slaves every one wanted to see my back and the design that was left on it.

"thank you", I said sniffing while snuggling more in to ceaser he didn't say anything and I appreciated that we stay that way for some time before he spoke

"you know we could get away from here,I met a group that have been planning their escape for some time now,I'm sure that they won't mind us joining". he said inviting back the tear that I have tried so hard to keep in.

"ceaser please I beg of you to not even think of that please you off all people know how it ends,it never ends well please", I pleaded desperate for him to listen to me so no one gets hurt.

"Even after everything that I told you about my escape and how horrible it was, even if we manage to escape we would only end up some where worse thats if we make it alive and remember what I told you the other day about those slaves who tried escaping so please stay out of that escape plan please".

I said holding his hand so tight that he must have felt my desperation this is the worst idea ever.

every slave must have seen or heard of what happens to the rebels who have tried escaping before,it was always so horrible so terrifying I would die if anything like that happened to ceaser on my account.

"so are just suppose to sit back and doing nothing, because I can't do that besides their plan is fail prove".

he spoke as if he didn't have brains and wanted to die like an animal.

"precisely yes sit down and do absolutely nothing,I can take care of my self and I know just how to get that devil back", I said looking him in the eye.

I didn't want to see my face i know what I would look like and I wasn't ready to even see my ugly looking face.

"I would have to get going now",ceaser said making me sad instantly i didn't want him to leave just yet I was enjoying his company even though we hardly ever spoke.

"its OK", I said smiling as he kiss my head promising to be back when ever he can before leaving me to my self.

I didn't want him to leave but I knew that he had to considering the working conditions over here is not like we can just ask for vacations or something like that.

I groan as I saw mama jess come in with her herbs and Anna's mom following behind her I lay on my stomach so she could check on my back.

"my goodness child, what did you do", she asked while checking my back and doing god knows what there.

"i wish I knew mama,apparently i have been a bad girl", I said rolling my eyes at masters words.

"I don't want to work there any more,is there anything I can do or any excuse that i could give".

I asked as the help clean my wounds,i tried so hard to numb the pain but it simply was impossible I was in an immense amount of pain.

"I wish we had the power to keep your away from him but unfortunately we can't do that, you would have to ask to work in the fields again". she said making me want to cry i wish I could just go back to the fields without asking for his stupid permission or maybe i could make my life easier by asking Andrew.

I hiss as the herbs touch my open back I tried to get away but Anna's mom was there to hold me down, I scream the whole time as she applied the green slimy mess on my wounds.

she gave me something extremely bitter to drink she says it will help with the pain and help me to sleep well.

I slept well that night thanks my mama jess and her disgusting herbs, i was grateful for the help but i wish that she wouldn't come back with that thing today.

I was feeling a bit better today at least I could stand on my own two feet and even take a bath, I went out to go look for Andrew to state my problem to him.

I said a little prayer when i spoted Andrew before running to catch up with him.

"hello sir", I said as he eye me up like trash, I hatr that i even have to talk to him I hope this doesn't get awkward.

"slave",he said walking away and i quickly followed him this is what he loves to humiliate me.

"sir please I would like to return back to the plantation and work there from now on if that would be possible please".

I said anxiously waiting for his answer he kept on walking totally ignoring me.

"go tell that s**t to your master piggy",he said walking away I didn't follow him because I know that he didn't even have the power to change my work position he was just so useless.

now I have to go look for master myself,and I hope that things go well, I quietly push open the door to the house sneaking in so they kids don't know that i was here I didn't want to say goodbye.

I knocked on the door to master office pushing it open when he asked for me to come in.

"good day master", I said bowing my head, he didn't say anything as usual I stood there until I couldn't take it anymore.

"I would like to return back to the plantation and work there from now on",I said looking at him his head was down so I was good.

"get the f**k back to work little girl and make some good dinner"

he said making me so disappointed I didn't go anywhere I just stood staring at him.

"I do not wish to work here anymore master, I think it would be better if I return to the plantation", I said breathing heavily.

he stood on his feet walking towards me like a hungry animal I was afraid even if I didn't show it my wounds are still fresh and truly do not need another whipping.

"this attitude right here is what got you the beatings that you got three days ago for,speak to me like that again and see if you live to see another beautiful day".

he said trying to control his anger I back up against the wall as he spoke angrily.

"now get the f**k out and start with dinner".

I didn't need to be told twice as I quickly ran out to go start with dinner,he was angry.