DEAD ALIVE

GET TO WORK

Mama jess watch as Nadia ate her food silently which was very unlike her, she always has something to say as she ate.

Nadia was returning back to the master's house today since she was doing much better and strong enough to work again.

she didn't want to go back she liked it here she felt at home here she felt free for once, saying what ever she feels like and eating as she please without fear.

it was time to leave, mama jess was going to the plantation and Nadia back to her master as the walk together, Nadia suddenly hug mama jess catching her off guard,

"I will miss you so much mama", she said sobbing making mama jess to roll her eyes.

"get off me child goodness is not like you are going to die or something plus I'm glad that you are leaving I can't wait to have my room back to my self, you are so messing", she said making Nadia to chuckle with tears in her eyes.

"whatever helps you sleep at night, I will visit you when ever i can", Nadia said hugging mama jess again this time she didn't push her off she hugged her back.

"ok thats enough get off me, don't get sentimental with me, run off now", mama jess said and Nadia let go.

"try not to miss me", Nadia said running off so she doesn't cry again she was so grateful for mama jess she was a friend and a mother to her in this short period of time, she promise her self to visit when ever she got the chance.

mama jess watch as Nadia ran off she had gotten so use to having the silly girl around, she was very lonely staying all by herself ever since her daughter Jessica passed away.

she was really going to miss Nadia even though she is the most annoying person she had ever met, her life have been amazing for the past week since Nadia had been here, it felt good coming back home to someone to talk to and eat it.

she watch until the silly girl disappear before she got to work, "does she remind you of anyone" her friend asked as she joined her on the Cotton farm.

"a lot even her love for meat, and how annoying she is, I hope she doesn't end up like her though the world isn't a safe place for pretty girls like her", mama jess said shaking her head at the thought of her Jessica.

Nadia walk slowly dreading the thought of seeing master again she miss the kids and all the fun the use to have but she just doesn't belong there with them the are from two different worlds.

master would never let her go back to the plantation she was his property and she had accepted that but she can at least dream.

dream that they were in a different world without hate and pain, where she and Ceaser would get married without needing permission from stupid men.

where they would have two children a girl and a boy, the girl who would be called Scarlett and the boy Moham, Moham was her brother's middle name and she wanted that for her son.

but even she knows that it was all day dreaming she would never have kids and might never even marry Ceaser.

her heart pound in her chest with anticipation as the house came into view she could only pray for her life she could afford to get pregnant again.

~~~~

I push open the door to the house hoping that the man was out but it was highly on likely since it was still morning.

"Nadia, Nadia", Henry ran to me while his father yelled for him to sit and finish his breakfast, I picked up kissing his cheek not caring what his father had to say.

"wow you're a big boy now", I said putting him on his feet and leading him back to his chair, I have miss that boy so much.

"master", I greeted with my head down "thank you for the time and the doctor", I said not meaning it at all, what ever that has happened to me was his fault if it wasn't for him then i would have never have to be in that position anyway.

he didn't say anything as he kept on eating, I said hi to the girl that was standing in the corner and she sheepishly wave at me smiling.

"get to work", master order and quietly excuse my self, I went to my room and it was just the way i had left it meaning the girl wasn't sleeping here, lucky her that animal would surely have raped her.

I clean my room making sure everything was in order before heading back to the kitchen, they were done with breakfast and the kids have gone for their classes.

"hello", I said to the smallish girl standing in the kitchen washing the dishes, she smiled back at me saying a small hello.

"whats your name", i asked sitting down on the kitchen stool picking an apple from the basket.

"Loretta", she said and i nodded, "you must be Nadia the kids talk about you all the time", she said making my heart swell with pride.

we got to know each other well as we were working Loretta was two years older than me and she was born here on this very plantation.

she was funny but shy at the same time, I have been laughing since we began talking, having her here made everything different, working isn't as depressing as it use to be when it was just me, it was fun having someone like me around who understands just what its like to be black and working for master Robert.

"so how have working here been for you", I asked curious to know how master have been treating her.

"it's not what I expected to be honest, I thought that i would be getting whipped every day but he haven't whipped me not even once, he is not as bad as i thought".

she said making me laugh in my head, I didn't know if she was just stupid or naive to see master for what he really is, or maybe he is only mean to me.

she told me how he yelled at her once for being slow and lazy and how she had nearly peed on her body out of fear.

I laughed at that he just yelled and she wanted to pee, I wanted to see her reaction when she saw his whip, it made me wonder if she had really been brought up in the plantation, or was I the only one getting in trouble around here.

I sat on the floor in front of the teacher as he explained to me how to learn how to read and write well, i listen to him attentively as he spoke i was determined to learn.

I close the door behind me as the teacher left, I was happy because i was able to grab a thing or two from today's lesson I saw that as a great improvement.

I sat in the kitchen with Henry on my lap as we watch Loretta preparing dinner, i felt like the master for once just sitting around watching while someone else made dinner.

I was eating when Loretta came into the kitchen she stopped in her track with her mouth open looking at me as though I was feeding on blood.

"is there a problem Loretta", I asked as she wouldn't stop being creepy.

"we aren't allowed to eat Nadia", she said being dramatic as she rush to take the plate from me, I roll my eyes taking back my food from her.

"don't eat if you don't want to but please let me eat in peace", I said annoyed at her.

"what if you get caught", she asked nervously looking around, "what if you don't get caught", I asked and she just kept looking at me.

she picked a tiny carrot throwing it in her mouth and quickly chewing it before smiling at me proudly.

my god I thought rolling my eyes i have a lot to teach this girl. "you better don't get caught girlie", I said feeling like the master again leaving her in the kitchen to get they kids ready for dinner.

"father said you wanted to die", Sara said as i help her to wear her dress, master really was a crazy man how could he even tell children something like this.

"I didn't want to die Sara i was sick your father must have misunderstood", I said laughing.

"I thought about you and Henry the whole time I was away, I miss you both very much", I said while putting her hair in a bun.

"Henry misses you", she said with a shrug, I smile of course he does.

"what about you didn't you miss me", i asked looking for her reaction,

"slaves would always leave when the want to and you're a slave i try not to miss you".

she said walking out I was surprised she must have heard that madness from her father or her grandma they are trying their hardest to break whatever bond it was that was there between the children and i.

I help Loretta serve dinner so it didn't look as if i was just standing there and doing nothing.

we both stood at the corner while the ate. henry was making a mess as he ate but i was proud of him many kids his age couldn't help themselves like he did.

the kids ran off to play before bed time while master asked Loretta andi i to wait behind.

"you will work on the outside, making sure everything is as it should be", master said pointing at Loretta.

"and you, you will continue with your usual work", he said to me while getting up to leave.

I wasn't sad at least Loretta would still be here I was afraid that he would send her away before I even get to properly know her but thankfully he didn't.

Loretta left for the night leaving me by myself as i watch the children play with meow, Loretta said that she had been taking care of meow and that i had nothing to worry about.

I let Henry ride on my back as i took them to go get ready for bed, he was pulling at my hair that i forgot to tie even when i asked him to stop.

I put him down and he ran to his room while i went with Sara to help her get ready for bed.

I help her wear her night dress before tuck in her in for the night with her favorite doll beside her.

"goodnight Sara", I said about leaving "and I would never leave you i promise", I said and she smiled at me.

"where is he", I said getting into Henry room I could see his tiny legs hiding behind the curtain.

"don't let me get you", I sang approaching his hiding place and he giggles softly.

"I got you", i said grabbing him as he scream in excited almost deafing me, he giggles kicking his leg around as I tickle his sides.

I put him in bed after changing his clothes he still wanted to play but it was time for bed.

"close your eyes now while I tell you a story", I said and he quickly close his eye a i began telling a story until he was fast asleep.

I sat on the kitchen floor waiting for master to get back home from where he went, it hurts to be back here had i be back at mama jess then i would have been eating and watching people dance while i annoy mama jess.

I miss her so much I wonder what she was doing now I bet she was munching on a huge piece of meat, they don't eat much meat here I have always wonder why but have never asked.

my mind wonder back to Anna she looked so broken and lost the last time i saw her she didn't look good at all, i was still mad at her but that didn't mean that I don't care for her, I would check on her when ever I have the time to.

I heard movement by the door as master push the front door open but he wasn't alone as someone followed behind him.

my heart dropped as i saw master Lawrence he smile wickedly at me before following master to sit at the dinning.

my heart was beating as i drop the bottle of alcohol on the table with two whiskey glasses.

I pour a drink for each of them with shaking hands, I was afraid of what the would do to me, it was always horrible when this two were together, it was hard enough dealing with only master Robert.

"you may leave", master said after i serve them, I wanted to be happy but it was to early for that I would be on my guard until master Lawrence is gone.

"she would be here in a week time", I heard master said as i sat on the kitchen floor i was so glad that i could clearly hear them.

master Lawrence chuckle "you have a choice you know, you could stop her from coming", master Lawrence said and there was silence.

I struggle to understand who they were talking about, who was coming?.

"I really don't want to get married", master said and understood who they speak of, the lady of the house would be here in a week.

I felt anxious as I wonder what she would be like, what she look like, I wanted master marry her so i could be free from his constant s****l assault.

I didn't care if she was horrible or not I could deal with all other forms of madness but not raping, I couldn't bear to get pregnant again.

I zone out of their conversation as i got loss in my thoughts until i fell asleep on the kitchen floor.

"lazy pig", master Lawrence said kicking my stomach with his feet waking me up from my uncomfortable sleep.

I clear the table as master saw his friend off, I waited for his return but he make sure to take his time i was so sleepy I didn't get any sleep last night.

"it's a good thing you took care of it yourself", he said walking pass me, my eyes fill tears with the way he spoke about my baby I knew that he would never have accepted that child, I wish mama jess was here.

I went to my room changing out of my dress into something more comfortable for the night even though it was morning already.

I lie on the bed but i couldn't sleep the sleep have disappear from my eyes already.

I knew that master was wasted so i was aware that i was safe for the night, he wouldn't be coming today.

I stretch getting out of bed to get started with the day I feel awful already i was so tired it felt as though I had only close my eyes for a minute.

"my goodness what are you doing here so early", I said surprise to see Loretta here already.

"I am always here by now", she said smiling and i roll my eyes, its no wonder she never gets whipped.

she was already done with her chores and was here to help me with mine, my goodness I think i am falling in love with her,she was precious.

we made breakfast together gisting and laughing it felt good to have someone to talk to while I work.

"I had laugh so hard that i cried, it had to be the funniest thing that I have ever seen",she said telling me about where she use to work at before and all the funny things that went on there while laughing.

her stories weren't that funny but i laughed with her any way since she was having so much fun talking about it.

I eat breakfast while she stare at me clearly wanting to join but was too afraid to get caught.

"leaving in fear isn't going to help you Loretta you will die of hunger waiting for master to feed you",i said eating making annoying sounds.

"you really are bold, don't you get scared of getting caught you know what they will do to you if you get caught",she said with a worried look on her face.

"of course i do get scared but eating is worth the risk else I would die of hunger this people don't care if you eat or not, my goodness look how slim you are".

I said grabbing her arms noticing how slim she was for the first since I met her, her fear for punishment is going to get her killed if she doesn't loosen up.

"here eat this quickly, I will stand guard for you",i said smiling at her with a plate of food in my hand as she hesitantly took the plate from me eating the food while i stood by the kitchen door.

"my goodness slow down before you kill yourself",i said with my hands on my chest horrified at how quickly she was eating.

"why are you eating like that are you trying to die on food, give me that", I said taking the plate from her.

"sorry",she said with a mouth full making me roll my eyes at her,this girl is insane we are going to get in trouble if she keeps being this scared.

"its ok you just need to calm down Loretta,lossen up",I said going to get the kids ready.