DEAD ALIVE

DIE

NADIA

It's been months of working at master Robert house and honestly its been bitter sweet the kids,henry and Sara were sweet so sweet while their father brought nothing but bitterness to the table.

my life was going fine as fine as it can be but as long as I stay clear of the mad man,I had lesser work to do in the morning with henry now joining Sara for his own classes.

Henry turn three today and there was a big party with so many kid running around here and there, there was also so much food and snacks for the children, I got excited just thinking of all the leftovers I could gather for they kids back at the quarters.

Henry and his sister were over the moon they were so happy as they kept screaming and running around with their friends making my head hurt from all the shouting,their father on the other hand was grumpy as always but this time with a good reason.

today makes it three years since the passing of his wife lady Victoria,he stayed in his room or office for most of the time only coming down to briefly check up on they kids and then going right back.

today was kind of a bitter sweet day for their family,today makes it three years since the passing of lady Victoria and also three years of precious henry on this earth.

so naturally the family were sad for the passing of their daughter and happy for the birth of a son.

master's parents and lady Victoria parents were both here to celebrate with their grandson,they brought with them so many gifts for the hyper active kids getting him overly excited.

master was still mourning the lost of his wife clearly i almost felt pity for him,apart from seeing him as an i***t that he was,I still view him as a strong and faithful man, I mean he was still unmarried and it's been three years already unlike most of they men around here one year was consider too much for them before they move on with their lives and getting married again.

I haven't really seen master with a woman before,he never brought one home any way I don't think he plans on getting married any time soon,which was good for me.

I was some what free because he didn't have that much time on his hands to keep an eye on me because he constantly had to work and visit the plantation hence leaving him with little to no time at all to keep tabs on me.

it was to my advantage any way if he remains unmarried at least I would still have a little bit of freedom and food to eat without his wife constantly been in my business.

I watch as the kids kept having fun without getting letting henry out of my side,I didn't want him getting into any kind accident master will have my neck this time around.

the party was soon over the kids were exhausted from all the playing and shouting they were happy,they never really get to play with other kids as they hardly ever go out.

I gave them both a hot bath before puting them off to bed I didn't need to sing bed time songs today as they both quickly fell asleep immediately.

lady Victoria's parents were staying over as it was too late for them to go back home,I came down after putting the kids to bed to serve dinner.

they were seated at the table making me nervous,master was staring daggers at me daring me to mess up.

I serve dinner and stood aside while watching them eat "are you deaf or something",master yells getting my attention.

they had all been talking to me for a while now but my mind have travel far away from here,I was busy thinking about food and how I couldn't wait for them to go to bed so I could chock my throat with food.

I was also thinking about my friends and also my boyfriend even though it didn't feel like I had one.

"my goodness go get me some more water", the lady said clearly upset, I didn't waste any more time as i quickly rush to the kitchen to fetch the angry lady some water.

I got the water and just when I was about to reach the table and serve the lady I tripped over one of the children toys that I have missed while cleaning up.

I spill the jug of water all over lady Victoria's father,shame could not describe what I felt right now.

"what nonsense is this Robert",they angry lady said while standing up.

they look on master's face simply spelt death,he was going to kill me.

"I am so very sorry sir",I said quickly giving him a towel to help him self with.

"its OK really",he said excusing his self to go clean up leaving me to stand there awkwardly.he clearly was a nice man and nothing like the others

"you stupid thing how dare you disrespect us like this",she said smacking my face.

"Robert how could you let your slave disrespect us like this,just look at how she behaves like the lady of the house,and you stand there doing nothing".

she states fueling masters anger,now he was definitely going to kill me,he looked at me before walking to his mother in law.

"mother please don't say things like that,I will take of her and put her in her place I promise".he said sending me to go wait in his office and I did just that.

I stood there waiting for him to come punish me,I began sweating as he walked in and sat on the couch in his office.

"get out",he spoke while pouring himself a drink,I was shocked but I didn't wait a second before running to my room.

i waited until I was sure that master was asleep before I quietly snuck out with all the leftovers I gather earlier and made my way to the quarters sharing all what I had brought with me to the kids that were still awake.

I watch as Anna eat the cake I brought her like a child making me shake my head,we sat outside by the fire side catching up.

but my attention was divided, I was desperately waiting on ceaser I have seen him only once since he got back from his travels and even them we didn't even get to talk much as I had to get back before master notice that I was gone.

"so when are you going to tell me"Anna said making me to knead my brows in confusion.

"what are you talking about",I ask giving her my undivided attention.

"you know,about you and my brother don't think I don't know what is going on"

she said making me blush in embarrassment,"sorry I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure if you would accept whatever this is,but I swear I was going to tell you".

I said hoping she would understand I really don't want this to cause any problems between us.

"are you kidding me,I love that you two are together I just hate that you didn't trust me enough to let me in on what was going on".

she said with a sad look on her face making me feel guilty for not telling her,she was a good friend to me really.

"I'm sorry really",I said as she pull me in for a hug which i gladly return back with a peck to her cheek before pulling away.

"so do you have any idea on when he is going to get here",I said getting excited making her roll her eyes.

"I don't know, maybe soon",she said smiling.I waited a for about an hour but he never came. I waited again but still no sign of him.

it was towards midnight now and everyone was asleep but he was still nowhere to be seen i was heartbroken.

I decided to return and go back and get some sleep before morning.

I quietly snuck back into the house and slowly made my way back to my room through the darkness,it wasn't hard as this was something I did often, I have master my way around here.

I got in bed and was about to fall asleep when my door was suddenly push open,it was dark and I couldn't see anything i was afraid that someone have followed me and manage to get in the house.

"where were you" master's voice boom in my room I quickly got up and put the torch light on so I could properly see his angry face.

today isn't my day just like every other day,I didn't know what to say but I do know that he would whip me if he knows that I was at the quarters.

"I wasn't feeling too well so I sat outside for some fresh air",i lied easily.

he said nothing for some time,he was in my face the next minute "do I look like a fool to you".

he said so close to my face holding my jaw in a tight grip and forcing my face up so I could look him in the eye.

this have never happen before,he never let's me or any other slave look him in the eye,he called it disrespect and he hater disrespect.

I was shaking by now as I didn't know what to expect from him and I was very very uncomfortable in this position he was so close i could feel his breath on my face as he easily tower over me,he was so tall.

"where the hell where you",he asked again slowly this time around, with his hold tightening on my jaw letting me know that lying would be a very bad idea.

"i was at the quarters master"I said with difficulty wishing he would just let go of my hurting jaw.

"and who gave you permission to go there",he ask still holding my jaw and breathing down my face.

"forgive me master",I begged as I began to cry "please",he didn't say anything and he didn't let go either.

I felt like dying,i wanted to die when he suddenly torn my dress open exposing my breast,pushing me to lie on my back on my bed with him on top of me.

I was shivering,I was helpless my inside was burning I prayed as I didn't know what else to do,he was crazy i just know it,God please safe me please.

my eyes were close as I didn't want to see his stupid face,I could feel his eyes on me though,please what do I do somebody help me.

I have never been this close to a man before,never and this man was right on top of me with my naked breast press to his hard chest.

this was getting awkward as time past by,he was breathing heavily and i was about to pass out with the weight that he was putting on me.

"please master",I whisper without opening my eyes,and to my surprise he got off me,I didn't open my eyes until I was sure that he was gone.

I slip off my bed and sat on the floor of my room,I couldn't believe what had just happened,I wanted to throw up everything I had eaten that day,I wanted to scream so loud until i broke every glass in this house,I wanted to grab him and just beat him until I was satisfied with his blood all over me.

the shame and anger I felt was so unbearable,he had no shame,he didn't even think of the fact that his inlaws where just upstairs,how dare he violate me like that ugh I am going to kill him,I will kill him,how would I ever face him now.

Die Die Die just Die Robert.

I trash my room but that didn't make me feel any better so I crawl to where I had some cake hidden I ate it thinking i would feel better but I didn't feel any better nothing could safe me from this.I didn't sleep that night I stayed up crying.

~~~~

"stupid stupid stupid,so stupid how did I get so stupid I acted like a fool in front of that disgusting girl and humilated my self so badly.

I should have taken Lawrence advice and stay away from that pig,gosh what is wrong with me i wanted to bang my head so hard on this wall right now but I would not result to self harm if anyone should get hurt them it should be her.

I was getting drunk but I didn't want to stop drinking,maybe drinking would help take away the humiliation i felt right now.

I couldn't even do anything even though i was so hard,she was going to see me as weak,but that wasn't weakness I just couldn't do it I couldn't bring my self to do it.

how does my father do,how does Lawrence manage to do,maybe I truly was weak.

I sat in front of Lawrence house with a drink in my hand getting frustrated with Lawrence as he laughs like a lunatic causing they slaves around to stare at us like idiots.

Lawrence haven't stop laughing ever since I share how i have badly messed up with that slave.

"you still a virgin or something man",he ask his laugh slowly dying down.

"I told you to stay away Robby boy but you clearly can not do that,then just go for it like i did,and don't be afraid and be a man".

I frown at that "what do you mean,I'm not afraid of her,she is afraid of me and not the other way round",I said getting annoyed.

"what ever you say big man, you are the man".

he said smiling so hard,I made a mistake coming to him Lawrence was the last person I needed right now.

I left Lawrence's feeling even worst than before,he was going to get me in serious trouble he was no go for me.

I decided to visit my parents since we didn't have time to catch up at the party as they were too busy with they children.

I wasn't ready for my mother's nagging but I just didn't want to go home perhaps I really was afraid.

I shook hands with my father as i walked into my childhood home nothing have change around here,the furniture and decorations were still the same.

"how are you my boy,and how are my grand kids",father said sitting down on his favorite spot.

"I am doing good father and so are they kids",I answer not really in the mood for chatting.

my mother walked in room the making me groan loudly in my head while closing my eyes,my head was banging seriously and I was in no mood for her senseless talk.

"Robert"she said taking a seat next to father.

"Mother",i said without opening my eyes.

"are you here to talk about your married because I can arrange one for you this very minute.

"Elizabeth please not with this again let the boy be",father said getting angry thank goodness he was on my side this time.

"I should just get going",I said standing up my mom was also quick to stand on her feet.

"you had better not be sleeping with that hideous thing in your house Robert,you better not".

she yelled making me even more frustrated than I already am.

"mother please don't start now,I need to go now any way".

"yes go now Robert,go be with that harlot I beg of you to go sin against God with that hideous being,be like your father go taint your self with those filthy creatures and be sure to let us know when she gets pregnant".

my god she has really lost it this time,she was still mad at father for getting that n***o pregnant.

Its been years but I guess she was still hurting,father never acknowledge ceaser as his son,I mean how could he that would be spoiling our family name and all that we have work hard for. acknowledging ceaser would be a disgrace to our family and we would be outcast and shame just like Oliver's family.

I walked away leaving mother and father alone to argued like the always do,they didn't even notice me going.

some of mothers words got to me, what if I go along with Lawrence advice and i get her pregnant I would peel my face off.

they house was quiet everyone has gone to bed but I know that she was hiding somewhere around the kitchen waiting for me to come home before she could go to bed.

I went straight to my room not wanting anything to do with her this night.I fell on my bed and slept immediately.

~~~

"open up now big man",I said urging henry to eat his breakfast but he still wasn't having any of it.

"please henry your teacher will be here soon, so you will have to eat, learn and then we can play all you want after that".

I said pinching his chubby soft cheeks,making him smile.

"promise to play with me Nadia"he said and I nodded my head while smiling "I promise".

finally he agrees to eat his food without any trouble at all,all he wanted to do was to play.

they kids were having their classes leaving me to take care of the house hold chores without any trouble at all,until he came into the kitchen ruining my entire mood.

"make me breakfast",he said very rudely.

"yes master",I said expecting him to leave but he stood there watching me while I work,he was making me really uncomfortable what a creep.

"about yesterday",he spoke making me stop what i was doing i can't believe this he was going to apologize,I might forgive him.

"what you are trying to do isn't going to work",he said making me frown."seducing me would never work".

he said making invisible smoke escape from my ears,he was plain crazy.