Love is Not Over

Feelings. I don't really get it sometimes. I can't determine what I feel for you. I was so naive to realize what are those flattering feeling whenever you are here. I always thought it was a normal feeling when someone tells you they love you. As my feelings grew deeper and deeper, I started to understand what is it. Your feelings for me stayed the same through the years. "Ako pa din ba?" I asked you one time, while we are sitting at the school bench. "What do you mean ikaw pa ba?" nagtatakang tanong mo sa akin. Parang wala kang ka-alam alam sa aking mga sinambit. "Ang mahal mo..." "My love for you will not fade away, Shana." Nakaramdam ako ng saya sa sinagot mo, pero hindi ko alam kung bakit. Hindi ko alam kung ano nararamdaman ko para sayo. Pero masaya ako na malaman na ako padin ang mahal mo. Nagdaan ang mga taon, napag-alaman ko na kung ano ang nararamdaman ko sayo. Mahal din kita pero noong napag-alaman ko na ang nararamdaman ko. Nagbago ka, you always have girlfriend every week. Everyone in our school wanted to be with you. You and your cousins change girlfriend every week. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niyo ginagawa yon. That went on until you are at senior high school and Grade nine ako noon. My lingering feelings for you never changed, but I don't know if you feel the same for me. Because I know that people change even their feelings change over the time. Loving you is painful, because I don't think you still have the feeling you had before. But you always make me feel like you so love me so much. "Cly!" I called you after a party that on Johnny grandfather's birthday. "Shai?" Parang gustong lumabas ng puso ko sa dibdib ko noong marinig ko ang boses mo. "Who's that g-girl? Is she your new girlfriend?" I never felt jealous over his flings before but this girl is different. She's so gorgeous and I can see the affection habang magkasama sila sa party. "She's a family friend Shai." "Shai? I want you to call me Shana like the old times!" "Okay, Okay. I will call you Shana, like the old times." Your laugh is like a music in my ears that makes my heart flutter. Love is painful, but saying goodbye to the person you love is more painful. We had our time together to love each other but it didn't last longer. You are getting farther away from me. You went so far away that I can't reach you anymore. I can't even see you because you are so far away from me. The long night is following you as it flows. In the long night I always wished you would came back to me. Every night I wished you would come back in my arms, and hug me tightly. But as the chance of you coming back fades away my hopes and dreams of having you with me fades too.Every night I go to bed and cry to forget about your goodbyes to me. My tears tell everything that I feel, The moment you left me with my lingering feelings for you. I denied everything that could make me feel better. My lingering feelings for you became frosaken feelings. I abandoned them to make me feel happy again, but they didn't fade away. I still feel the same for you but I just need to abandon them for me to be happy again and I can go on with my life. My love for you didn't end because you are my endless love. I hope your love for me is not over. ~~