Nickels

Muhammad-1

MuhammadAli is me I am Muhammad Ali I dance on my toes float through the air spin in circles I combo punch upper cut right upper cut left one two three I bow Thank you thank you tha thrilla in Manilla right here mad dad walking through the back yard one block off Payne tha thrilla right here right here tha thrilla! stomp stomp stomp I see mad dad mad dad sees me

Tha thrilla in Manilla!

step right up folks

tha thrilla in Manilla

right here right here in eastside St. Paul

you don’t have to take a plane or a train

it’s all right here!

mad dad drags me into the house his fingers are wrapped tight around my arm my skinny skinny arm How long did you think you could get away with this Huh I cry I don’t want to be in the house with him How long he is crazy how long crazy man crazy mad dad bashes me into the cupboards switches hands shuts the door locks it click like a bone breaking

You don’t have to travel south to see tha thrilla in Manilla

it’s right here!

step right up!

I’m trapped in the house with mad dad help someone he drags me through the kitchen How long I asked you how long I choke Where is it huh he shakes me drags me up the stairs one two three my legs butt slams into them How long did you think you could go where is it he pins me against the wall at the top of the stairs choke choke Do you think I’m stupid he looks me in the eyes choke choke spit on my face

Tha thrilla in Manilla! I say tha thrilla in Manilla!

wham I swing at mad dad I miss wham I swing again he gets madder n madder mad dad lifts me off the ground by my neck against the wall mad dad’s choking me! mad dad’s choking me! let me at the cracker! I kick him in the stomach his breath goes whumph I kick him again whumph and again whumph let me at the motherfucker upper cut right upper cut left I’m swinging kicking swinging kicking whumph he drops me I fall on the ground tha thrilla in Manilla! right here folks step right up pay at the door! tha thrilla in Manilla right here eastside St. Paul a block off Payne! I kick like a caged animal my whole body kicking the soccer ball down the sideline whumph! Muhammad Ali! Muhammad Ali! the greatest in tha history of tha world I upper cut him right upper cut him left whumph he’s trying to get a hold of me I kick I hit I twist mad dad says Where is it he’s got me by the neck on the carpet where’s the purse buck buck buh buck he holds me unzips his pants

* * *

Phonefor you mom sets it on the chair against the kitchen wall I’ve been waiting for Patty to call all morning Hello I say Hi she says Got it I say Yeah she says Come help me get it in there Okay I say I’ll be right over

Oh no you won’t mom takes the phone out of my hand hangs it up you are always with her you can spend some time at home every once in a while I slap the cupboard door I don’t wanna stay around this stupid house I say How do you think that makes me feel after everything I do for you her eyes and nose turning red don’t you love me your own mother everything I do I do for you I stare at the brown metal flower cupboard handle until I don’t hear or see anything all I want is to go to Patty’s house she needs me mom cries the way she cries when mad dad hits her she acts like because I want to go to Patty’s I’m as bad as mad dad You don’t even care about your own mother It’ll be okay I say but I have to get to Patty’s mom’s nose is running Maybe you should take a nap I say and get her a Kleenex and I feel bad so bad like I stabbed myself in the stomach because I say it so she’ll go to sleep so I can go to Patty’s so I can leave her

the phone rings bring! bring! mom picks up the phone hangs it up Tell me you love me she grabs me pulls me to her I love you you know that right I say nothing squished against her I stare at the cupboard handle bring! bring! mom pulls out the plug

Let’s take a napyou’re right she says I follow her up the stairs one at a time we curl up in her bed I stare at the painted green dresser there’s a spot where you can still see the wood I pet her hair I have to it’s my fault all the badness in the house is my fault just like she says just like mad dad says it’s all my fault all the bad things in the world all the bad things in the world! I feel it in my stomach how bad I am but I feel the hate now too lots of it creepy crawling over me a giant spider walking up my back she snores n I wait n I wait n then I creepy crawly off the bed don’t want her to cry again I creepy crawly out the front door then I run across the street I don’t slow down for the cars or mom or nothing Patty’s got it!

I runin Patty’s back door hear noises like a clawing cat Patty I yell Hurry up she says I run down the stairs into the basement Patty is in the corner behind the mower leaning over the mole’s cardboard box It’s almost figured out how to get out she says holding down the box gloves she says and points next to her on the floor hold it here where were you I have to stare to keep from crying I called Patty says I stare thinking about my mom on her bed C’mon she opens the cage she stole from someone’s yard pulls it right up against the box jams her thigh against the cage Ready Sure I say Patty opens the top of the box a c***k the mole’s head pushes out then it jumps right into the cage Close it Patty yells we shove the cage door the mole runs into the back of the cage sits there in a ball hissing like a cat it has weird eyes its nose is pointy its hands stick out to the side white and big they claw at the metal We got it Patty snaps the lock shut we got it!

C’monPatty says Jimmy told my brothers we caught it if they get back they’ll kill it Patty grabs a oily sheet off the workbench wraps it around the cage we pick up the cage together the mole hisses and growls Got bus money Patty says Sure I say Good we drag the mole upstairs it’s heavy! out the door around to the street past my house I look at mom’s window I tricked her my stomach hurts hsss hsss the mole moves around in its cage it can’t see it lives its whole life underground by itself I stare at the greasy oil cloth until the sadness goes away What’s wrong Patty says I shrug my shoulders Patty lifts the sheet looks at the mole My mom I finally say Patty says nothing she knows how it is looks up at the sky like she’s looking for something important

Whoa ladiesthe bus driver says he’s old what’s in there Nothing Patty says No pets allowed on the bus system ladies It’s not a pet Patty says Well then all right what is it the bus driver leans over in his seat to see the cage Nothing sir Patty says we just want to go down the road Sorry ladies you’ll have to find another ride we pick up the cage move it off the bus step onto the sidewalk If we let it go here it’ll get killed Patty says I nod thinking about my mom how much I hurt her I never wanted to hurt her Patty leans over the cage says Hello mister mole you’ll be okay and I know I hurt my mom because I love Patty but I can’t stop loving Patty

What should we do Patty says I shrug the mole squeaks a few times Patty jerks her thumb at a truck it keeps driving and so does the next one and the next one but then a big blue semi without its box stops the driver waves us in his mustache curls up at the tips Patty climbs up on the step and almost falls backwards Hey there honey be careful the driver laughs touches his hat needin a hitch somewhere Yeah Patty says just down the road Well hop on in he says we push the mole’s cage in the truck until it’s sitting sideways on the floor Whatcha got there some sorta contriband Yeah Patty says Whatcha runnin girls you look like you’re up to somethin with those gloves on your hands the driver laughs puts the truck in gear looks in his side mirror Nothin Patty says and puts her foot on the cage I stare at a New York Giants sticker on the dash board You a Giants fan he says and leans over and taps the sticker No I say Well I sure am don’t matter that I’m from Bama I’m a true blue Giants fan painted my whole damn cab blue just so the world would know that man’s a Giant’s fan he points at the windshield I was almost on TV once some TV men wanted to shoot my truck I got a Giants football helmut on this side ya know you just can’t see it from over there No Patty says he slows down for a stop sign says They canceled at the last second I washed my truck down even cleaned the inside of cab and all then they call say we found something different we’re gonna use some man who’s dressen up like a skunk for Jets games you know they had that real bad season in ‘75 I look out the side window I like being up so high So what do you got in there Nothing Patty says a mole A mole he laughs I see a mole what are you doing with a mole Saving it Patty says we’d like to get off up there she points to a circle of picnic tables alongside the road Well all right the driver says and touches his hat again then that’s where I’ll let you off how come you got the mole It dug up my yard Patty says the entire yard this time my brothers would of killed it I see he says that’s nice a you and pulls over we jump out pull down the cage Thanks mister Patty says Sure thing go Giants this is our year and he pumps his arm in the air and drives off toward the North Dakota reservations

Dragit over here Patty says so we drag the cage next to a picnic table we sit the sheet slips off the mole huddles in the corner It’s scared Patty says the mole squeaks poor mole Patty covers it up think it’ll be okay out here I dunno I say the trees scatter sunlight on me and Patty and the cage Let’s let it go off in the woods Patty says Okay I look straight up into the sky think about my mom What are you thinking Patty says Nothing I open my eyes then close them again What are you thinking I say keep my eyes closed feel the hot breath of the sun on my cheeks About how we’re going to be super stars in high school Patty says win state be the leading scorers all that kind of stuff Yeah I say and keep my eyes shut imagining it all

But sometimes I think I’m going to leave her feet scuff the grass my stomach is a pit Huh I say Just go somewhere else don’t you ever want to leave your dad stop getting bossed around and hit and stuff I don’t say anything my head starts to spin like it’s too hot I feel like I’m going to black out I can’t lose Patty! I keep my eyes closed No I squeak It’s just thoughts Patty says but sometimes she doesn’t say anything for a while I don’t know if I can stand it anymore we sit there for a while I keep my eyes shut if I open them the ocean will come out

the sunlight the shadows the breeze spins me around like I’m in a Tilta Whirl spin spin spin like what I do when mad dad comes in my room spin spin spin like what I do when mom scares me spin spin spin stare at the ceiling spin spin spin make my bed grow like a beanstalk papoosh through the roof to the sky spin spin spin clear out the space between me and Patty make everything so far away so nothing can touch me spin spin spin

Help me take it to the woods Patty says Okay I open my eyes blink everything is so bright and close I’m just thinking Patty looks at me I won’t leave without you I nod don’t talk or I’ll cry I promise she pulls me up we drag the cage across the grass until we reach the woods there’s a pond on the other side At least he’ll have water Patty says and opens the door the mole sits in the corner Umm you know she wipes her chin on her sleeve since you’re Indian and all maybe you should umm say a special prayer or something What I don’t know what she’s talking about You know Patty says I saw it on TV once Indians do stuff like that she bends down plucks long strands of wilty grass holds them out to me on her palm Here she says you’re the Indian you know what to do I don’t know what to do I’m still spinning I swipe the grass off her hand look at the mole huddled in its corner Patty steps back holds her hands behind her back bows her head I don’t know what to say Um bless you mole I drop the grass on its head and back it scratches to the other side of the cage Patty nods like I’m supposed to say more Find a good home mole I say Go on Patty says to the mole but it sits there the grass still on its back my head spins what if Patty leaves she gets a stick pokes at the mole from behind Bless you mole she says it moves a little she pokes it harder it moves a little more until Patty tilts the cage up and the mole half slides half runs out the cage onto the grass and into the tall weeds along the pond There Patty says and kicks the cage stupid cage and she turns and walks toward the picnic tables I stare at the cage on its side in the tall grass the mole can’t see anything how will it live Come on she says and so I do