Love and Duty

She was sleeping peacefully when he entered, the doctors had said she was not in any form of danger for the time been, he walked over to her bedside and sat down, he couldn’t tear his gaze from her beautiful face, he couldn’t believe that everything that happened was real, he was still praying that by some miracle, everything had been a terrible nightmare that he will wake up and find that everything was back to normal but of course, he was no fool to believe that, things had happened, terrible things had happened and nothing could change that. He looked down at her face, the pure innocence he saw there made his insides burn in anger and pain, he had loved her with all his heart, he was ready to go to whatever extent to see her smile and she had broken his heart and scorned his love, she had betrayed him in the worst possible way, the anger flared up deep within him and he found that it was suffocating him to be in here with her, he turned around and made to leave the room. He had just reached the door and was about to turn the door knob when her voice floated across the room into his ears, it was soft and gentle and it was still surprising how it still managed to turn his insides into one tangled mess of emotions and feelings, he struggled to ignore what he was feeling and once again reached for the door handle but she called out to him again, this time he could hear the urgency in her voice, he heard the ruffling of the sheets indicating that she was trying to sit up, she wasn’t supposed to be moving around just yet, he caused himself as he turned around to look at her, as he did, he came face to face with the woman who ruined his life, She tried sitting up but a look of pain crossed her face and she quickly lay back on the bed, he caused himself for wanting to rush over to her bedside and comfort her, Her huge eyes looked up at him “Fawwaz, I am sorry, I have no right to say this but believe me when I say that I am really am sorry, I never planned for any of these to happen, I am just so sorry, I know you can never forgive me but please, I am so sorry” she said, she was crying by now an those tears only sought to make him even more angry than he already was, He remained quiet because he could not trust his words at this moment, he feared that he may say words that will hunt him for years to come, he just stood there watching her as she cried, When she realized he was planning on speaking to her, she spoke again “Fawwaz, please say something, at least scream and shout at me, tell me you hate me, just say anything to me, but please don’t remain silent, your silence hurts more than this bullet wound” This time around he could not stop the dry chuckle that escaped his lips, he found it comical that she could speak of pain to him “I don’t think you have the right to speak of pain to me Aseemah, you have ruined my life and made me lose people I care about and you speak of pain to me” he said, his voice sounded distant and cold even to his own ears. He saw her flinch when he said those words, a stream of tears ran down her face “Fawwaz, I am sorry, I know you probably won’t believe a word I tell you but believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt you, I loved you Fawwaz, I still do, that was the one thing I never lied about and I am sorry about moth……” she said but I didn’t let her finish, I could not let her say my mother’s name, she had no right. “Don’t mention my mother, you do not have the right to call her mother, she had loved you like a daughter and you had cost her life and please don’t speak of love to me, you don’t even know the meaning of that word” he said, his voice was harsh and brazen, Tears pooled her eyes and spilled down her beautiful face, the fact that he wanted to wipe those tears away was maddening, he hated that he still felt this way towards her, the fact that because she was crying still bothered him made him hate himself, this woman had caused my mother’s death and not only that, he lost a brother and a friend because of her actions and like a traitor, his heart still called for her.  He took a deep breath and said “Enough of all this please, I just want to forget everything, I need you out of my life, I have shown you mercy which you do not deserve, I let you live, the next time I see you, I swear I will not miss when I aim for the gap between your eyes, you will die I can assure you that, so just leave quietly” Tears escaped her eyes, she made to say something but he raised his hand to silence her, before she could say another word, he turned around and opened the door, he stopped one last time, taking a deep breath he said “Goodbye Aseemah, I hope we never have to see each other again” with those words he walked out and shut the door behind him, drowning out the sounds of her painful sobs. ************ I had arrived not more than an hour ago, the house itself seemed to be suffocating me, every single corner was filled with her scent and every single piece of furniture held a thousand memories, letting out an exasperating groan, I had collapsed on a sofa and laid there for what seemed like hours to me, I was not even thinking, I was just lay there staring at nothing in particular, there was no pain, just emptiness and strangely the feeling of loneliness was slowly nibbling away at my insides, I didn’t fight it, I just lay there and let it consume me whole. Suddenly the sound of my phone ringing penetrated the air, I ignored it until it rang out and finally stopped, I was thankful for the silence but then suddenly, the sound pierced the compelling silence again, With a groan, I reached into my pockets and pulled out the phone, it was the hospital calling, I suddenly sat upright, a sinking feeling had suddenly taken over my stomach, I quickly answered the phone, “Hello Captain Fawwaz, this is the hospital where your wife was admitted and I am sorry to inform you that she passed away not too long ago, your attention is needed immediately” a woman’s voice said to me, The phone slowly slipped from my hand and unto the floor, one thought kept playing in my head “If she was really dead, then my life as I knew it was over”