the reason for love

Abby's pov On the way to my new life that I was longing for so much again, for every mile that past farther away from that place it became easier. It was a long ride to the new place I will be living. i waned to run away from the past that all happened there and never look back. But the memory's felt like they were hunting me were ever I went and when I hear the word Chris i get goose bumps. -flash back- Almost at the end of the summer break my friend introduced me to her friends Chris and Nil and I tough that i can finally put the past behind. It was a fun summer end but I started to miss my dad a lot. When my dad died I didn't rely miss him, i didn't know what to feel really, he was rarely home, always at work, but when he was with us he was the best dad. When they thought I was sleeping they always were fighting and screaming, but never showed that they were unhappy to me. And then there was the car crash. I remember coming home from school all happy and stuff because school is ending soon and summer is around the corner. But seeing my mom start to cry on a phone call not saying much and only after some time did she tell us what had happen and that he died. A week later was the funeral, seeing him all icy, with out the color of liveliness in hes face scared me and left a scar in my heart. All of those memory's and thing I couldn't do with my dad flow in to my mind every time that I saw Chris. And even some of those stuff I wanted to do with him. He didn't look the same but he acted similar to him, but at the same time not. It was fun going to party's, hanging out, talking about s**t and all. But after one party everything changed again. We were drinking like usual, I guess he had noticed that I have started to like him. He toke advantage of my friking feelings and the alcohol in my body. He asked me to come with him to a quieter place and I went with him. I started to get relay dizzy, i knew that I didn't drink that much to feel that way yet. The last moments i remember were those of him undressing and undressing me and after that all went dark. After some time my friend starter to get worried of me not coming back for a long time but Chris said that I was tired and went to sleep and came to check on me to see me sleeping. At least that what she said. She woke me up around 6 am when the party was going to an end. I was still realy dizzy and every part oh me was aching, the most was at my lover part. Only after few days I understood what had happened on that night. At first I tough that was just my mind playing tricks on me, but that wasn't the only time that he did that to me. The next time that I met with them was at Nil's house. We all were just talking normally but then Chris took my hand forcefully and dragged me to a bedroom. He threw me in the bed harshly and claimed in him self. He started to unbutton my pants, I tried to push him away, but he started to choke me, I started to get dizzy of the lack of oxygen. When he let go of me he said in my ear "if you're going to scream it will be more harsh on you " even tough he said that I started to scream fore help. Chris hit me harshly across my face and I could feel my cheek pulsing and a metallic taste in my mouth and I knew it was blood. After that I was scared to move so he wouldn't hit me again and the only thought in my mind was that my friend would come in and save me but that never happened, even though I knew that I screamed loud enough so they would here me. He toke of my pantys and sled in two his finger in my p*sy and with the other hand was holding my both hand above me. I wanted to scream, cray and push him away as much as possible but I was too scared again. "Justin..." My ex abusive boyfriend came back in my mind, because of him I moved here. Chris hearing someones other than hes name come out of my mouth, even though it was a whisper, but this time twice as hard then the first time, my head started to get dizzy for a moment and my vision got blurry. I got home and cried my eyes out all night, I just didn't know what else I could do. The next day I met with my friend and told what Chris had done to me. She only smiled and here words were like venom " You deserve it all, I'm shocked that he only did that. it's not like you didn't like it as you like him more then just a 'friend'. Me and Nil both new what was happening, but know what none of us fu*king like you, you piece of s**t. Its not it's your first time anyways. Oh and by the way it would be better for you to shut that little mouth of yours and do not say anything to anyone else. It's just a friendly remainder, because i'm sure you wouldn't want to find out what will happen if you do." I was shocked hearing her say that when I thought I could trust her. I din't have anything to say to her and she left me shocked standing there. I was alone again.... When I came back I bought a new flat in another city far enough from there so I wouldn't meet any of them ever again. -flash back end- I didn't even notice that I had started to cray of those memory's. I just wiped my tears of and drove further listening to the radio.