Belong To You (COMPLETED)

Rainbow Dear Rain, Hi! I hope this missive will find you well. I just want you to know that I like you ever since you came to school. Even if I feel very shy, I want to let you know that I love you. I really hope that you would like me too. If okay with you, can you be mine for good? Just in case you want to text me, my mobile phone number is 0917-225-8719. Love, Camille Habang patago akong nagyoyosi sa likod ng school, binasa ko ang sulat ng classmate ko at napailing sa nabasa ko. Pang-lima na siya sa sumulat sa akin kamakailan lang. I'm in my 2nd Year in high school, and a transferee in an exclusive school. Dito ako itinapon ni Dad para daw madisipilina ako ng mga madre at maging isang ganap na babae. Kapag sa co-ed daw kasi, napapasama ako sa mga bad boys ng school at sa tingin niya ay naging tomboy daw ako dahil walang inang gumagabay sa akin. Namatay kasi si Mom sa panganganak sa akin. Lumaki pati ako sa pangangalaga at impluwensya ng apat kong kuya kaya kung ano ang hilig nila ay hilig ko rin. Dad said that's why we need a mother figure to guide me. Or better yet, someone who would stand as my mom. Pero sa tingin ko, ginawa lang big deal ni Dad ang pagiging boyish ko para magkaroon ng rason na tanggapin namin magkakapatid ang bago niyang asawa. A week after he decided to transfer me to an all-girl school, dumating na ang aming so-called Mommy. It was a whirlwind romance. She was the same age as my Kuya Ram-22 years old. And my dad is 55 years old. Kamusta naman, diba? Nagsindi pa ako ng isang sigarilyo. Kapag naiisip ko kasi yung bagong asawa ni Dad, sumisikip yung dibdib ko! Wala na nga siyang oras para sa aming magkakapatid, nakuha pa niyang kumuha ng aagaw ng atensyon niya. All my life I've been trying so hard para mapansin ni Dad. Pero sa tuwing nakikita niya ako, umiiwas siya. Pakiramdam ko, naalala niya ang Mom ko sa akin. I saw in their photos that I look exactly like mom, except that she was tall like a model, or a beauty queen. Sabi ng mga kuya ko, naalala nila si Mommy na mahilig magluto, malambing, sweet, maalaga, maasikaso, nakikipaglaro parati sa kanila nung kabataan nila, lady-like, mahinhin, matulungin, at graceful. So not like me. And I tried to not be like her because if I try to be like her, all the more na feeling ko maalala ni Dad sa akin si Mom at hindi siya maka-get over sa fact na ako ang dahilan ng pagkamatay ng Mom ko. Kaya nga binago ko yung hitsura ko eh! I always sport short hair, and I don't wear girly clothes, and I definitely don't do girly stuff. I did it because I wanted to rebel... or perhaps for Dad to at least notice me? Napabuntong hininga ako at napabaling sa nagbi-blink kong mobile phone. Naka-silent kasi ito habang hawak ko. Umiilaw ito at nakita ko sa screen ang pangalan ni Jaja. Siya yung isa sa mga school mate ko na nagpahiwatig na crush daw ako at gusto makipag-on. Actually, yung limang girls na nagbigay sa akin ng letters are from different levels. May isang First Year, dalawanag Second Year, isang Third Year, at isang Fourth year. Lahat sila mga pa-girl. Dahil nasa exclusive school kami for girls, nagiging uso yung pakikipag-on sa loob ng skwela. Not that I like girls. I also don't like boys. I never liked anything except for cars and speed driving. At dahil sa wala naman akong paki-alam sa mundo at sa tingin ng kahit sinong tao, sinubukan kong makipag-on just for kicks. Not with just one, but all of them. As in silang lima sinabay sabay ko kasi hindi ko naman sineseryoso. Sinagot ko ang tawag ni Jaja. "Baby! I miss you na. Tapos na ba ang klase mo?" "Yeah," tipid kong sagot. "Really? Ako din eh!" Sweet nitong sabi. Si Jaja ang Fourth Year na nagpakilala sa akin minsan sa locker room. Ilang araw pa ay sumulat na ito sa akin na gusto nga raw ako nito, at nagsabi na gusto nga raw nito makipag-on. "Okay..." I just said as I puffed my cig. "Gusto mo duon muna tayo sa condo namin? Wala kasi sina ate? May gimik sila tonight." Saglit akong napa-isip dahil hindi ko alam kung good or bad bang pumunta sa bahay ng syota mo. Pero come to think of it, eh ano naman kung pumunta ako sa bahay ni Jaja eh wala naman akong paki-alam sa sasabihin ng mga tao. "Ah eh... sige." I carelessly answered because I really didn't mind. Isa pa, it's not likely that we'd do something and get her pregnant. Kamusta naman? May obaryo din ako at alam ko naman iyon. Pinuntahan niya ako sa secret tambayan ko sa likod ng school, at nag-taxi kami papunta sa condo unit nila. Siyempre, bilang ako ang tumatayong lalaki sa aming dalawa, I paid of the taxi fare. Once we got in inside the condominium, nagulat ako nang kuwelyuhan ako ni Jaja and kissed me. Tututol sana ako but when I opened my mouth, she immediately inserted her tongue inside. I didn't want to panic, and thought of just going with the flow, so I closed my eyes and went still. I kissed her back, but I did not feel anything. Walang kilig, walang arousal. Walang kahit ano. But, still, I pretended that I liked what we're doing because I didn't want her to feel rejected. Yun ang pinaka-ayaw kong pakiramdam kaya hindi ko rin kayang gawin sa kapwa ko. Jaja pulled me inside one of the rooms. "Jaja, wait." Pigil ko sa kanya. Natakot ako dahil first time ko. Wala naman akong kaalam alam sa ganito. Oo, boyish ako. Pero hindi ko grasped ang konsepto ng making out with the same s*x. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang hubarin niya ang damit niya sa harapan ko. I felt my face blush and turned my back. Narinig ko siyang napatawa na parang nangaakit. I felt her warmth behind my back as she kissed my nape. "Babe," she moaned, and turned me to face her. Ako naman, parang statwa sa shock. She unhooked her bra in front of me, and I saw her breasts. Siyempre wala na naman akong maramdaman kungdi ang ma-shock. "Babe, kiss me here." Malambing niyang hiling. Napalunok ako. "Ha?" nasambit ko sa shock ko. Napaisip pa nga ako eh. Eh mas malaki pa nga ang mammary glands ko kesa sa kanya tapos gusto niya i-kiss ko yon? Sa tantya ko, cup A siya. Ako cup B. O, diba? Nai-compare ko pa! Wala kasi sa isip ko na aabot kami sa ganito kaya kung ano ano ang naiisip ko. Pero dahil nandito na'to, sige na. Pumayag na ako. I kissed her there, and her peaks immediately reacted. That's when I realized that I think I have a thing for the female anatomy, after all. She pulled me to bed, and I felt her moan as she guided me to touch her inner thigh, until I reached her center which was already wet. She reached under her pillow and handed me a pink vibrator. Napakagat labi ako sa shock. "Babe, put it inside me." She instructed and I followed. While I was kissing her breasts, I inserted the vibrator inside her, and she started quivering and whimpering in pleasure. Ako naman tahimik lang na ginawa ang lahat ng instructions niya sa akin. But I felt her hand travelled to my chest and she was trying to undo the buttons of my uniform. "No," I whispered as I stopped kissing her breast, and held her hand. Ayokong gawin niya sa akin yon. Hindi ko maipaliwanag kung bakit, pero at that time, I just felt like I wanted to be held by someone na alam kong siya na for life. Sa pag-pigil ko sa kanya, naiwan ko tuloy yung vibrator inside her na nagva-vibrate pa. Gusto ko ngang matawa, pero siyempre alam ko naman na sa ganuong pagkakataon, dapat hindi ko gawin yun. "I want to please you, babe." She was panting and moaning at the same time as the vibrator was still inside her. "Let me please you." I said. "That's what's more important to me." I wasn't sure I was really honest, but I just felt like I had to say those words to her because that would be what I think girls would want to hear from their partner. She smiled at me and spread her legs more to welcome my every gentle but fast push and pull inside of her, until she whimpered, and was almost convulsing as she reached her climax. I pulled the vibrator out. Tumagilid siya upang yumakap sa akin at mahalikan ako sa pisngi. "You're the sweetest, babe." Inaantok niyang sabi. "I had a boyfriend before... the one who devirginized me... pero hindi niya inuna yung satisfaction ko. Parating siya lang." Na-ishare niya. "I love you, babe." She said and dozed off to sleep. Ako naman tumayo na sa kama at iniwan ko yung vibrator doon. I pulled the blanket and covered her para hindi siya ginawin. Tapos pumunta ako sa sala kung saan may door papunta sa terrace. Kinuha ko ang yosi ko sa bag ko at nagyosi, tapos chinek ko yung fon ko. I saw 10 messages. 9 of them were from the girls na ino-ohan ko na maging mag-on kami. Saka isa pang message mula sa unknown number. "Rain, this is Camille. I got your number from a friend. Sorry to text you, but I just wanted to know if you got my letter?" Sinagot ko iyon at sinabing nakuha ko. Nagreply kaagad si Camille. "So, can we?" "Yes." Sagot ko lang sa text, not really serious about my answer.