Whisper

~The Alpha~

Chapter 20:

The next morning I wake up to arms wrapped around me and my head snuggled comfortably on a firm chest.

I gasp in shock jumping off the bed. Shawn awakens as a result, “I was sleeping.” He states the obvious. I don’t reply. He stands up to stretch, I can’t help but stare. “Stop staring so much!” He bites, I obey.

“We didn’t sleep with each other if that’s what you’re worried about.” He assures. “I wasn’t” I retort. He rubs his eyes and passes his hand through his jet black hair. He looked so…good? Why?

“You’re staring again.” He examines. I look away abruptly. “Look it’s bad enough you bored me to sleep last night”, he complains. “You’re just intimidated by my questions and conclusions.” I correct. He glares at me seriously.

“Intimidated by you?” He questions. The air suddenly grows tense. “Have you met yourself?” He mocks. “You thought prying with all those ridiculous questions last night shook me? You think your so called conclusions disturbed my conscious?” He interrogates hovering over me with every step he took closer towards me.

“You’re not a damn psychologist and this pack is not your office. In fact I’m the least of your concerns for you to make it your mission to make me your personal patient. You should be worried about your own issues. Remember them? Your abandonment issues?” He brings up coldly.

I gulp the lump that had been forming in my throat.

He halts and stares down at me intensely. “Our conversation last night changes nothing between us. I’m still the Alpha.” He reminds.

“Why did you look at me like that then!?” I blurt out. “Like what?” He questions. “Like you knew exactly what I was talking about when I confessed about my Nana. Like you knew how I felt, I know what I saw. I saw it in your eyes, I saw compassion, loneliness, a connection-” “Shut up!” He growls.

“Shut up!” He growls louder. “You don’t know anything about me! And I promise you I’ll never look at you that way ever again. You’re pathetic! You’re weak! Stop trying to figure everyone out, do you hear me!?” He demands.

“Do you hear me!?” He demands louder punching something nearby out of rage. When I don’t reply he grabs my chin and lifts my face. “I hear you.” I am forced to say. “I hear you, I understand.” I assure.

“Good.” He accepts releasing me. “Now get the hell out.” He orders. I obey and leave the tent to search for Willie.

~*~

“I’m so glad to see you!” I jump into his arms. Relief washes over me. He rubs my back in a soothing manner. “You did it Whisper. It’s finally over, you’re a part of the pack.” He states.

“Willie this doesn’t change-”, “it changes everything!” He interrupts. “I had all the faith in you that you were going to pass each stage, but not everyone does pass. This pack is for strong people, you included! You’re giving yourself no credit whatsoever for everything you went through last night. Whisper you overcame fear on top of fear. That ceremony was brutal and personal. The Alpha really gave you a run for your money, seriously.” He expresses.

I silently analyze everything he just said. “It was difficult.” I agree. “This is serious. Completing this ceremony means that nobody not even the alpha can tell you that you don’t belong. Passing gives you the chance to show everyone here that you truly belong. You don’t have to worry about people underestimating or undermining you anymore, not after last night.” He emphasizes the importance of my success.

I smile. “You should be proud of yourself. I know I am. We should celebrate!” He suggests. I laugh.

“I wouldn’t celebrate just yet.” A stern voice interrupts. Willie’s smile disappears as does mine. I turn to face the alpha.

“There’s one more thing that I need to put to the test.” He informs us with a wicked smile plastered on his face.

“What are you-”, “take a long hike Willie. I promise I’ll bring your girlfriend back. We just have a final trip to take. Not that I have to give anyone an explanation for my actions.” He gloats pridefully.

An unsettling feeling forms at the pit of my stomach. “Willie why don’t you tell the rank that the newest member and I will be taking a fun trip alone tonight.” Shawn orders.

Willie and I lock eyes, he apologizes with his warm light brown eyes and leaves me with the alpha.

~*~

Night fell as I found myself blindly following the alpha deep into the woods far away from our site.

He led the way confidently as I found myself worrying behind him. I couldn’t object and neither could Willie. Nobody in the pack could object for that matter, he was the alpha so I had to obey.

I tried not to think about the million questions rushing through my mind, but among them was- “relax I’m not going to kill you. Although it sounds tempting, if I did I wouldn’t have to deal with you.” He announces all of a sudden, answering that one burning question I had.

“Then what is the purpose of this trip?” I question. “You’ll find out, we’re almost there.” He assures. “If we keep moving further we’ll end up at the town.” I inform.

He remains silent. My feet halt. He senses my sudden pause and turns around to face me. His deadly stare almost burns me. I try not to feel intimidated.

“Let’s go, I didn’t say stop.” He orders. I remain still. He smirks. “Are you afraid?” He questions. I don’t answer. “You know I’m getting tired of your damn disobedience towards me. Agreeing to be a full wolf and completing the ceremony means you vow to obey your alpha.” He explains aggressively.

I inhale deeply and exhale, but remain in the same spot. A growl erupts from his lips as he lunges himself towards me and grabs my wrist by force.

I grunt. “Why won’t you bow down to me!?” He exclaims. “Why are we going so far away from the site, why are we getting so close to town!?” I shout almost desperate. He releases my now sore wrist.

“I knew it.” He laughs. “What!?” I demand. “You’re stuck on this town, your old life. You’re scared to move on.” He enlightens.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” I accuse. “So I guess we’re both taking turns being delusional huh?” He challenges. I remain silent. “Tell me there’s nothing nor anyone back in this town that you have connections with.” He orders seriously.

“There’s nothing nor anyone back in this town that I have connections with.” I repeat. He glares at me intensely. I glare back. “Liar.” He whispers.

“I’m not lying! I-” “prove it!” He cuts me off his voice booming with power and authority.

“Prove to me that there’s nothing you care about back there. Prove to me that nobody is holding you back from wholeheartedly joining my pack.” He demands. I’m lost of words. “I-i did…” I manage to say in utter shock. It was as if the ceremony meant nothing to him! Like everything I went through last night was a piece of cake or a path of roses. I was brutally beaten, exposed in more than one way, and humiliated just to name a few!, and he had the nerve to tell me to prove myself to him!?

“Nothing is ever good enough for you!” I explode.

“It’s getting pretty late maybe we should go.” A voice chimes in from a far. I feel the color drain from my face and my hands turning icy cold. I am slapped in the face by so many thoughts that I almost fall back from dizziness. It felt like the air was kicked out of me.

Shawn notices and fights back a smile. Finally reacting, I gasp and begin to run in the opposite direction. His foot trips me causing me to fall onto the ground. I groan in pain as I feel him drag me back towards him. “No!” I protest digging my nails into the dirt and kicking my feet, trying to fight him off me. He flips me over easily and forces me to stand up. I wobble a bit and lose my balance. “Please don’t do this.” I beg him holding onto his shirt tightly for balance. I dig my face into his shirt. He peels me off him. “Come on.” He orders. “Shawn please!” I gasp as he pushes me further. “Shut up!” He demands.

Shoving me into view I fall to the ground once again. Too afraid to lift my face I stare at the dirt. “Whisper!?” A voice questions in complete shock. “I told you we would find her!” The second voice that I heard before chimes in.

“Where have you been!?” She questions falling to her knees embracing me. I hug her tightly wishing this moment never ends. I begin to shake uncontrollably. “It’s alright.” She assures rubbing my back.

“Whisper are you alright?” Steve questions. I look up to see his concerned expression and my heart breaks. I can’t even speak.

“She will be. Come on let’s go home.” Shelby states standing up. I stand up as well and dust myself off.

Shelby had her red hair in a ponytail covered in her grey beanie. Steve wore his hair like he always did, almost covering his eyes and forehead. They looked great.

Steve rushes over to me and hugs me tightly. I embrace this foreign affection not realizing how much I needed to be held by both of them. I’ve missed them so much.

“I’ve been worried sick” he confesses. “You just left Shelby a letter and no further explanation, I-we didn’t know when you’d be back. We’ve been coming here ever since hoping to find you and we finally did.” He explains. Wow they really care about me.

Their affection and comments full of concern for my well being begin to overwhelm me.

“But it’s okay because we found you.” He assures planting a quick kiss on my forehead. “Let’s go.” Shelby says.

“I can’t go with you.” I finally speak. Steve releases me completely and Shelby looks at me as if I have lost my mind.

“What do you mean?” Shelby presses. I take a deep breath feeling my eyes water. “I mean Im not going with you.” I retort. “Like hell you aren’t!” She fires angrily.

“Whisper?” Steve questions trying to read me for answers.

“I’m not going back there, there’s nothing left for me there. My nana is gone and I-”, “we’re there!” Shelby screams at me.

“We’re back there! Steve and I care about you, can’t you see that?” She questions.

“I think it’s best if you forget about me.” I reply trying not to burst into tears.

“What?” Steve questions clearly confused and hurt.

“I’m never going back there.” I promise.

Shelby approaches me slowly, tears pooling out of her green eyes. “You didn’t even say goodbye.” She whispers glaring at me painfully. “You don’t say goodbye to your best friend through a letter, not after everything we’ve been through. That’s not saying goodbye!” She scolds.

“You left me to bury your grandmother that was supposedly everything to you. You didn’t even properly say goodbye to her! I’ve never met anyone so selfish and inconsiderate God Whisper! What has gotten into to you!?” She continues on harshly. Her words begin to sting painfully, I try to remain composed.

“Do you even care about us!? We’re all you got!” She shrieks bitterly.

“I’m not going back, so I suggest you stop trying to convince me.” I force out trying to muster a careless tone. She steps back in disbelief. “Convince you?” She questions. “Convince you!? What the hell is wrong with you!?” She cries.

“We shouldn’t have to convince you to come back with us. We are all you have Whisper!” She yells.

“I have nobody!” I growl stepping towards her.

“That night I lost everything!” I fire loudly into her face.

Shelby backs away wiping her tears. “You’re right, you have nobody.” She finally gives up. I feel my heart shatter within my chest hearing those words come out of her mouth. I look at Steve who appears to have given up on me as well.

Shelby begins to storm off. I quickly grab her wrist. “I loved you I really did!” I blurt out. We lock eyes. “Both of you! I loved you.” I glance towards Steve. I needed them to know that. Even if they hate me, I need them to know that they mean something to me. Silence. My chest aches awaiting for a response from them. I bite my tongue and hold back my tears.

“Yeah key word, loved.” She emphasizes snatching her wrist back so swiftly that I accidentally scratch it.

“Shelby I’m so sorry.” I apologize. “Don’t bother. I’m done, I’m-i-I am so done!” She retorts between stutters, storming off and never looking back. Steve stands still for a few seconds starring at me. I try to say something but I can’t.

“I don’t even know who you are anymore.” He confesses pain and disappointment in his eyes.

I choke on a sob. Tears fall down my cheeks as I watch the two most important people in my life exit it.

After they were out of view I begin to cry harder and harder. Sudden clapping causes me to jump and turn around.

“Bravo!” Shawn applauds. “That was amazing!” He congratulates. “You really cut them off with no chance or hope of restoring connection. That was impressive!” He cheers proudly. I gasp falling to my knees feeling that aching chest pain once again.

“Why?” Is all I ask him bitterly. “Why do you hate me!? What did I ever do to you!?” I cry fresh tears spilling out nothing understanding what I did to deserve this much pain in my life!

He bends down to meet my eyes. “To show you where you stand and who your Alpha is. To make sure you know who you are and who I am. After today you won’t ever disobey, talk back, or object to my orders. I’ve broke you to the point where I can call you mine.” He explains slowly. It was brutal.

“I can’t take it!” I gasp. “It hurts Shawn.” I confess sobbing bitterly. “I know.” He nods caressing my cheek. “Don’t worry though, you’re in good hands. The blue feather pack is where you belong now.” He assures. A real high price just to belong…was it really worth it? It has to be…I have nothing.

“Wow would you look at that.” He smiles in admiration of his own wickedness. “You’ve even bowed down to your Alpha.”