I don't understand why he didn't fight for me — or even just for himself. For us to continue the love we just started, for us to build the family we both wanted, Alec has to live. I may not understand his pain, I may not able to feel nor measure the pain he felt at that time, he should have at least think of me. He maybe forgot that he still have me. Me who was willing to stay with him despite me — being in pain just seeing him cry for losing people dear to him. His parents' became part of me, too. It was painful to lose them... And too painful to lose him, too. If he didn't, would it make change? Yes, probably. If he was alive, we would have been a happy family together. If he fought for us, all our dreams would come to reality. If Alec thought of what we could have become, ever

