Insecurity

Mealy POV I wake up early morning to prepare for my 1st day of College. Yes, I am a College student majoring in Accounting at Saint Lawrence College. Before I shower, I open my i********:, go to my account, and check my new post. "5 Likes? Why?" "I thought I am pretty on this" I said to myself, yesterday before I slept, I posted my selfie on my i********:, but I sent it to my best friend before posting to know her opinion if it was okay or not. She said that it was okay. That's why I post it. Immediately she liked it and commented heart. Then, my sister, brother, dad, and mom liked it and commented all heartily. Technically my best friend and my whole family are the only ones who wanted and commented on my post. I thought many would like to comment on it, but I was wrong. I am about to cry when I hear my mother yelling that I have to get ready for school. I get up, charge my phone and then go to my bathroom to get a shower and ready. After I showered, I saw my reflection in my mirror and was disappointed because I was so dark even though I had washed my face. I did my skincare and applied my whitening cream, and powder to whiten my face and neck. By the way, all the products I am using are whitening because I am obsessed with being fairer and whiter than others. Yes, it is my insecurity aside from my grades in most subjects. I am deficient in everything, ugly and stupid, and nobody will like me or even look at me. "Mealy, are you ready? Eat your breakfast downstairs. "Said, my mother "Yes, mom, I'm coming," I tell her. My mother and all my family supported and loved me so much that I couldn't be grateful for them, but sometimes, I thought that was why they were fairer and good-looking than me. I think I am adopted, my classmates also thought. "Shhit, I will be late" after I saw the time on my wristwatch. "So much for drama, Mealy. You are already College students. You must focus on studying, not your face or being different from your family." I close my bathroom. Go to my closet and look for a shirt and black trousers. "Simple but classy," I said to myself and combed my hair. Before I go downstairs, I organize my bedroom, pack my bag, and go downstairs. "good morning, mom and dad." "are Kuya and ate already gone?" I asked my mother because I didn't see my sister and brother. "yes, sweetheart, they have already gone because they are late for their job." My mother said while she was preparing my breakfast. "you have to hurry up before I am late for my work." Said my father, who is already finished his breakfast "I have to take care of this, and then we will go sweetheart," my father continued and then went to their room and took the call from his office. "Sorry, mom, I'm just being nervous about being in College. That's why I take more minutes in the shower," I say to mom while eating my breakfast. "It's okay, sweetheart. Take your time. Your father can wait for you" said my mom before going to their room. I think she will prepare my father's suit and bag before we go. I was not nervous because I knew that I had my best friend, but I lied to my mother. After all, I can't tell her I take more minutes to shower because I worry about my face and bring more power to whiten my face. I know she would be worried if I told her I am still worried about my appearance being so dark. Storytime while I am still waiting for my father. I am already finished my breakfast. I eat less because I know I will eat the cookies my best friend baked for me. In my family, I am the only dark skin since they are fair and good-looking. "you are beautiful, sweetheart," said my father while holding me on my shoulder. "you are lying, dad," I said while looking at my reflection in the mirror. "I am not lying, and we will be late," he said and then kissed my mother and went outside where his car park was. I kiss my mother, go outside, open the passenger seat, and sit. I think I will continue my story after my class. My father asked me random things, and I answered politely since I still thinking about why I was the only has a dark skin in our family. After 10 minutes, we were already in my school "Goodbye, dad, and take care," and I kiss him "Goodbye, sweetheart" "always remember we love you, and you are the most beautiful daughter that we had" Said my father, and then I waved to him while he was going to the other side of the road. This the always the line of my parents when they see me thinking and being silent. I love them so much, but I am still clueless about why I am like this. I hope that I can get my answer to them as soon as possible. I didn't know that I was looking intensively at the road where my father's car went when one of the students bumped me, and I was about to fall, but someone held my waist. And? "Best, let's go. We will be late for our first period!" said my best friend and grabbed me to enter the gate. We ran and ran into the building where our class was, I thought, because I didn't know my first period. But I'm just going with my best friend because I am still confused about what happened a while ago. I couldn't react since my best friend busy thinking if we were late for our first period. "Are we classmates?" The only thing I asked my best friend. I want to ask her if she knows who grab my waist. Or yell to her because it is my chance to learn my prince charming, but she enters the scene and grabs me in my best moments. But I didn't because she is my best friend, my only and loyal best friend. She didn't answer, but we were already in the room, and she grabbed me again to sit in the second row. "No," she said while smiling, but I knew she was kidding because she was starting to arrange her things for her desk. "nevermind, by the way, do you know who grabbed me, so I didn't fall in the gate?" I finally asked her because I couldn't answer my question, and she was the one who grabbed me after that. "Are you hurt, mealy?" asked Bryan, who was already taking the chair on my front. I looked at him and said no and then looked again to Jade. "Do you hear him, bro? She didn't fall because someone grabbed her." she told her brother and then looked at me. "he grabs you where? What parts of your body?" "My waist," I said "No way, mealy, no one touch my girlfriend" "Shut up, Bryan. She is not your girlfriend." "he is on our campus, right?" Jade asked. "I don't know. I didn't see him after that because you grabbed me," I said, continuing. "and how do you know if he is a boy or girl," I asked "Yeah, true, mealy, she can be a girl," Bryan said "No one will grab you if he is not a guy, right." "that's bad, jade, your stereotype again." Said, Bryan "Never mind, I'm just thankful I didn't fall on my first day of class." "that's my girl, don't mind it, just focus on your class and me," Bryan said while smiling. I just smiled, and then he talked to his friends. He is my best friend's brother, so she calls him bro. he is also close to me. And he teased me all the time by saying that we were alike. Yes, he is also black-skinned, but he is handsome, and I know he didn't really like me because no one likes the ugly and stupid me. He is lovely to me because I am his sister's best friend. "Don't worry, best we will find that person, whoever he/she is. I believe he is a guy, and he is your prince charming." "you will stop being miserable and insecure because you meet someone like you." Said my best friend while clapping and cheering me "Stop it, you are embarrassing me to the class" I stop her I will not expect that he will be my prince charming. I know he is a guy because I felt her hand on my waist. It is strong. I knew he was not like me because he didn't look at me. If he seems he will not help me because he will be disgusted by my face. I wouldn't look at him like my best friend said. I just don't want to expect again that someone like me. Instead, I have to focus on my study and graduate early. "I think we don't have class since our professor didn't come." "I think so. Let us go. We must eat and return to our boarding house to rest." Said my classmates since we had waited 30 minutes for our professor to come. I think he/she will not go since it is the first day. But we don't know, that's why we still waiting. We have 45 minutes before our second period. After 10 minutes, my classmates were about to go, and I cleaned my desk since the jade was already ready. Someone comes to our room and sits at the table in front, so he is our professor. Male professor. Bryan POV We will be talking about our game tomorrow. I am my teammates, who are also my close friends, but I still think of the person who grabs Mealy at the gate. I didn't see it because I was already in our room, but they were talking about it when they sat at the back of us, mealy and my sister, jade. I hope I am the one who grabs her, not any man on the campus. I also believe it is a guy because I like my sister. That's why we are siblings. We think both alike. "Are you ready, captain, for our game tomorrow?" asked my best friend, Jimmy. "Yes, but we still practice today after our class," I said, referring to all of my teammates. I want to win this game. I want to prove something to my father and impress Mealy. I have to tell them, especially her, that she has to be there tomorrow. I look at the back and ask her, no, my sister. "Tomorrow is our game, you have to be there, and you also," I said to my sister, pointing to her and then to mealy. "I need to have a cheer," I said "Whatever," said my sister, then rolled her eyes "Of course, Bryan, we will be there to cheer you." Said Mealy smiling at me. I smile to be I take it back. I don't want to be evident that I am happy she will be there tomorrow. "Okay," and then I talk to my friends again. If you are wondering, yes, I had liked Mealy since we were still in Elementary. I know she is my sister's best friend, so I can't tell her my feelings. One time when we were in grade school, my sister went to my room while I played video games. "what the hell, jade? Knock before you enter. I thought you were mom," I yelled because I was scared that my mom would see that I am video games instead studying for our exam. It is our exam week. "Whatever, I just want to say that my best friend is going here. We will be studying here." She said while she was on my bed "So?" I don't care if she invites all her classmates. I don't care. "I don't want to for her, okay, she is my best friend. She is beautiful even though she has black skin." "she has many things going on, so I don't want to make it another problem for her. You are good-looking, so I hope you don't do anything," she said while looking at me. I just nod, she disappears to my sign, and I continue playing my games. I didn't care what she was talking about then, but when I saw her, I knew I liked him and wanted to get to know her more. I did it in a way that my sister would never suspect that I liked her best friend. I am just a brother to them until now. She has no idea that I like mealy and I think I am in love with her. I know I have to tell my sister, but I am still getting the right time to confess my feelings. I want her to be good to her best friend. "Captain, we don't need to be there. We have to practice more," said Mark "we have more time to practice if we will go to the practice now," said Neil I know we didn't have to be here, but I want to be here because I know that mealy is here. I want to look at talking to her today. "It is already 45 minutes," said Jimmy, and they started to prepare to stand and go to the practice court. I want to be here, but I also want to stay with mealy. When I was about to stand, a man entered the room and sat in front of us. He must be our professor. Male professor. Mealy POV Our professor in our first principal is a male professor sitting in our front and talking about the subject and his grading system. All my female classmates, including jade, are smiling and listening to his discussion. Me, I am listening, but I am not smiling. I listened attentively to his debate because I wanted to pass this subject. After discussing what he needs to discuss, he calls us to sign our syllabus. All my female classmates, when they are their turn, are smiling and getting closer to him. When jade turns, she is looking at me and at him smiling. I just glare at her. When my turn, he called me and was shocked. I don't know why and I don't care because I am still thinking about who is the one who grabs me in my waist. I didn't tell jade that he held me in my waist because I didn't want to. I know we don't have a secret between us since we are best friends, but I want to hide it. My professor signs my syllabus and then looks at me. I get my syllabus, and then I go back to my seat. My mind is full of thinking about who is the one who grabs me at the waist in the gate. I didn't understand what my professor announced after he signed all of our syllabi because I am still thinking about what happened at the gate. He said goodbye and told us to meet in group b on Thursday, which I am because I am in group b, including jade and Bryan and the least of my classmates. He separates us into two groups, group a on Monday and group b on Thursday. Mealy, they said that we don't have a class in all our subjects today!" said jade while cheering "Why?" I ask. Technically, we have 2 more classes after this class. "they said that all the professor is having their faculty meeting." "what will we do?" "I don't know." "Let's go to my house, let's watch a movie!" said jade, and I just nodded "We go home to our house to watch a movie, me and mealy," jade said to her brother Bryan "Okay, I'll go to our practice. Don't forget our game tomorrow," said Bryan to jade and then looked at me "Whatever," jade said I just smile and then nod. All my classmates said bye to us and then exit to our room. Jade and I are still in our room since we are still waiting for his driver to text us if he is already at the gate. I was cleaning my desk when jade said "Kuya Gary said he will be here in 1 hour. He has to go to my father's office." "It's okay. We can eat first, and then he will be here," I said and got my bag. "We can also look who grabbed you in the gate," jade said, who also grabbed her bag, and we exited the room and went downstairs. "how do we look for him if we don't know him? I didn't see his face," I said, still getting mad because I didn't look at his face. I just froze when I felt someone hold my waist. "you have a point. Let us eat first and then make a plan," jade said. We did go to our canteen, yes we have a canteen in our building. It is fortunate because I didn't have to go too far since we have a canteen. "go first. I have to go to the comfort room," I said to jade. I have to pee. "Okay, I will look for our seat," jade said, then she went to the canteen I did it to comfort the room and pee. After that, I washed my hands and put a bit of lip balm on my dry lips. I exit and go to the canteen. I look at jade, and I see her waving to me. "We have to ask everyone if they grab someone on the morning in the gate," jade said while eating her pancake. She didn't eat breakfast, that's why she is eating pancakes and coffee. While I am just drinking coffee. "Everyone? No. We can and remember we don't know them, and it is weird to ask everyone on this campus." "what if he is not on campus? Who didn't see him entering the gate, remember" I said "yeah, I think you have to give up on your prince charming," jade said and frowned. I know she wants to help me, but it is impossible to search for him. "He is not my prince charming. I just want to say thank you for him," I said "he is already at the gate, our driver. Let's go" "tomorrow, we can talk again about him, okay. For now, I am so excited to watch the movie," jade said, preparing to go. We see their car outside the gate. We get it in the backseat. I said hi to Kuya Gary, and then we remained silent. Since jade is searching for a new movie that we will be watching for whole days. After 15 minutes of drive, we are here in the jade house. We have already gone to their theatre room. Jade requested a snack for us and then watched movies. We manage 5 movies while eating our snacks. Jade wants to watch more movies, but it is already 5 pm. I have to go home since my driver is outside waiting for me. I said goodbye to her parents and her. Her brother, Bryan, is not there, by the way. We eat dinner with my family when I am already in the house. They ask me how my first day is. I said it was okay. After eating, I go directly to my room because I am so tired of watching movies and talking to jade all day. I have to rest and save my energy tomorrow. My sister and brother were not at our dinner a while ago because they went overnight to the office. Yeah, they are working for our company. Dad is the CEO. He can leave early, but they still prove their worth to the company. After I finish College and have a license, I will work there and prove my worth. Our parents raised us to be hardworking and respectful. I have to work hard in my studies because I am not intelligent but also stupid.