The Summer Bucket List

Chapter 4

I was staring at my Summer Bucket List. Now I have doubt if I’m going to continue this or not. Everywhere I go and everything I do is an absolute catastrophe.

Then suddenly my phone rang. I answered it. “Hello Hon.” It’s Easton. “Hi.” I sighed.

“Does something bad happen?”

“No. I’m just tired.” I lied.

“Oh, bet you’re enjoying your vacation there.”

“Yeah.” I lied again.

I always lied to Easton. He didn’t even know about the Summer Bucket List. All he knew was, I was going to spend my last vacation here. “Good news, Hon. I’m going there on August’s first.”

“That's in three weeks?”

“Yeah, but there are some things I still need to settle. But as soon as I’m finished, I’ll go straight right there.”

“That’s fine Hon.”

"Right, in the meantime, enjoy your vacation there. Goodbye, love you.”

“Bye, love you too.” And our call ended.

I appreciate Easton. He understood me, even the slightest tidiotabout me. We've been together for five years now. He never once questioned my lies. Yes, I did lie to him, a hundred times. I lied for the purpose of not hurting him. When he proposed to me three years ago, I instantly said yes, because I felt like I had no one. And I can’t lose him either.

A ray of golden sunlight infiltrates my window. I walked towards it, swept the curtains on the sides and found the perfect golden pink skyline. It amuses me. I grabbed my loose sweater and ran downstairs.

I rode my bike towards the boardwalk. I called that ‘the place of goodbyes’ because it’f*****g Jella, August and I used to watch the sunset, and the place where I bent my sadness and cried when I knew I was going to leave soon. The place where we spent my last day of summer. I don’t know, but for an odd reason, this place gives me comfort even on goodbyes.

I walked towards the edge of the boardwalk and saw the mixing pink and blazing orange in the sky. I was just standing there leaning my elbow on the wooden parapet while feeling the cold breeze from the sea. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply.

“That’s heavy,” someone uttered. I instantly opened my eyes and found a familiar man — not so far from me — leaning as well on the railing staring at the sky. The cold never affected him as he was wearing black sleeveless and black sheer pants.

“Are you talking to me?” I asked, looking at him. He then gazed at me.

“Is there anyone here beside us?” A complete sarcasm. I smiled a little.

But then I thought of his familiarity so I couldn’t stop staring at him. “Do I know you?” I asked again.

He looked at me and our eyes met. He has shallow brown eyes, thick dark brows that are so unveiling. Then he smiled and brought his sight back at the sky.

“Time really does make you forget people.”

“Excuse me?”

“Can’t you remember me?” He paused for seconds waiting for my response. I looked hard at him, but I couldn’t really remember him.

“I’m Caden. Caden Redd.”

“Caden?!” I was flabbergasted. And I couldn’t stop but smile.

Caden Redd, he was my childhood summer crush. But only August and Jella know it. Caden is like me, who only came to Morehead to spend his summer.

“How have you been Caden?”

“I think I should be the one who’s asking you that question.” He spoke.

“I’m good,” I answered and pretended a smile.

He gazed at me, his eyes begging for more.

“So, let me guess, you’re here to spend your summer, like before?” he said.

“My last summer.” I corrected.

“What? You just came back, and this is your last summer already. Mind if I ask why?”

“Well…” I showed him my ring. Unexpectedly, he just laughed. “Why?” I asked.

“So, you’re getting married, and what about it?”

“Okay, so yeah, I’m getting married, and I’m going to leave Morehead permanently to live in Dublin.”

“I just don’t get it. You’re just getting married and, because of that, you’re not coming back?” Then he laughed again. Perhaps my expression took that seriously, so he instantly defended it.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I just think that’s absurd.” His voice cracked still he laughed. “Pardon me, but I’ll be frank with you. Why did you even come back to Morehead if you’re just going to leave again? Why leave permanently when you can visit every summer like before?”

I was speechless. He was right.

I just came to think of that. Though I always knew the answers, I came back to my Summer Bucket List, to my lost summers, to my lost times. But why did I really come back when I was going to leave again? I’m going to live in Dublin permanently. Is that reason enough to not go back to Morehead?

“Even though it was none of your business, I'll still answer it. I came back for my Summer Bucket List.”

“Damn,” he replied.

“I know, it's crazy,” I said, then smirked a little. “Yeah.” He laughed under his breath.

“How about you? Still here to spend your summer?”

“Partly, yeah. I came back to sell our house.”

“Why?” I asked. “Dad passed a year ago.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No, It’s fine. I’m also going to move to New York after this summer.”

“So, I think we have the same reason,” I said.

“Maybe?” he half laughed.

“What’s on this Summer Bucket List that’s so important?” he suddenly asked.

“It’s our tradition, August and I. We do it every summer when I am here, and it’s the best summers you know.” He was just staring at me, listening attentively to what I was saying.

“I’m doing it to make up for my lost summers. As you know, I was gone for sixteen years. And I wanted to have a perfect last summer. Sadly, August doesn’t want to do it with me,” I said.

“Why?”

“He hates me.”

“For what?”

“For so many reasons, but mainly for being gone for years.”

He’s silent. And I saw him swallowed in a quite calming way.

“Want me to be your companion?” I was shocked at his response.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to do it.”

“Well, I bitcha lot of time. As you know, I don’t really know what to do on my time.”

I laughed. “Seriously?”

“Absolutely.” He replied. “So, when do we start?” He followed.

I stared at him, in haze yet with bright eyes. Perhaps it wasn’t a badbitch to do it with him.

” Fine, we’ll start tomorrow.”

“Alright!” We both just laughed.

…

We walked from the boardwalk to my place as he pulled my bicycle. While on our way, we reminisced about our childhood days, and we couldn’t stop but laugh.

“You know I had a crush on you when we were kids.”

“Really?” he replied. “Yeah,” I answered.

“Well, almost all the girls liked me back then.”

“Big head.” We laughed again.

“But what I do remember is when you cried so hard because I spilled your ice cream and August saw it, so he bit me.”

“I do remember that.” I said as I laughed.

“You’re a crybaby back then, good thing August is always there with you.” He followed.

I remembered, I indeed was.

August was always there to defend me. I let myself be weak, because I know he’ll protect me. But it’s all in the past now. I have to be strong to live.

We’re having a great conversation when suddenly a car passed us. Yet even in seconds, I catch a glimpse of August locking his deep dark gazes towards us. But I ignored him. Turns out Caven also saw August. He looked at my response. I know he has something to say but chose to keep it.