Choices

Chapter 19: Pancakes

For the first time in my life I don't have an answer for the teenager in front of me. She waits for my response and gives me a questioning look when I don't have an answer for her. There's no way I'm going to allow a teenager to bully me. "Your father brought you in here sobbing. You were dead, you had no heartbeat. It's my job to offer medical attention to someone who is in need of it, unless the person refuses medical assistance. I don't remember you being awake and telling me to stop helping you breathe again." I snap and she turns her head to give the window her attention. I let out a sigh as I turn around and walk towards the direction of the door.

"Have you ever had someone die before? Someone you love?" She says and I turn around to look at her, her eyes are still stationed on the window as she speaks again. "It sucks, it's painful and it feels like someone shoved their hand deep into your chest and ripped your heart out." I'm silent as she talks because I know the pain she's describing. I know exactly how it feels.

"My mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was sixteen, she was the best mom in the world and I know it's a cliché but she truly was. When she got really sick I couldn't deal with the pain of not knowing whether she would wake up from her sleep, so I started taking her pills that used to help her with the pain. It used to make me happy again, I never worried about if she was going to wake up tomorrow or if she was in pain." She pauses for a second as a tear rolls down her cheek. "Then one day she didn't wake up and it's like all that pain hit me all at once. I was taking pills to help deal with the pain and then it wasn't enough. I found something else that replaced that pain and you're probably going to think I'm selfish but I wanted to forget about her. If I forgot about her, even for a second, then I thought maybe things could go back to normal." Her glassy eyes meet mine and I am at a loss for words once again.

"But then it didn't and I took a little more and woke up here." I walk over to her bed and she closes her eyes. "Even though I knew that taking too much wouldn't lead to anything good, but for a second just before I fell off to sleep I thought that it wouldn't be so bad. It won't hurt anymore, I'll be with her and I won't have to spend another second grieving for her." She opens her eyes and avoids eye contact with me.

"My mom died when I was nineteen. The last time we spoke we fought because I wanted to go to med school. There's not a single day when I wake up and not think of her and how different things could have been." I take her hand in mine and her eyes meet mine. "Do you think your mom would want for you to give up on life? Even though my mom isn't here right now I know that she is happy wherever she is to see that I became a doctor. Your mom would want for you to live. That pain never goes away, it lasts forever. But it's there to push you to be stronger. That pain is an advantage, trying to get rid of it is something you can't do so you might as well use it to motivate you to live the way your mom would want for you to." I squeeze her hand in mine and she offers me a smile.

"You're here and alive. Perhaps your mom made sure I saved your life so you have a second chance to get things right. Candice, there's so much more to life than what you expect. Trust me I've been through it. All this bad seems like it's going to last forever, but it won't unless you allow it to. You still have a dad who's here and who loves you." She sits up and wraps her arms around my neck and I wrap my arms around her. We stay like that for the longest time possible until my pager goes off and I leave her behind with a smile.

"I know I promised you dinner and a movie but Zak had to take Bethany somewhere and Chris is still in the Bahamas." Those are the first words that leave Lucas’ lips as I slide into the front seat of his car and he offers me a smile.

"Hey Madison." A small voice comes from the backseat and I hear the seatbelt unbuckle as a tiny person bounces up in between Lucas and I. His piercing green eyes meet mine and I give him a wide eyed look.

"Hey." I awkwardly say and he offers me a smile. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that he's Christopher's son Hunter. However, apart from having Christopher's striking green eyes, everything else about him screams Lucas and Zak Parker. He has Zak's nose and Luke's smile, he even has long curly chestnut brown hair that covers his ears and forehead.

"Get back in your seat." Lucas playfully shoves him back into his seat and he let's out a soft giggle. "I can however promise you pizza and cartoons?" I let out a soft laugh as he gives me a dreadful look.

"Bath time first." Lucas snaps as Hunter's small body climbs onto the barstool and onto the counter as he reaches for the pizza.

"But uncle Zak let's me eat first." He pouts and he is the most adorable six year old I have ever come across.

"Is uncle Zak around?" Lucas says and the boy hops off the barstool with a frown.

"This is unfair." He mumbles as he walks down the hall.

"No mumbling under your breath or else I'll make you sleep outside." He calls out.

"You sure he's not your kid?" I throw my purse onto the counter and give him a questioning look.

"I'm sure. My kids will be better behaved and have manners." He yells out the latter part and I wrap my arms around his waist.

"Kids?" I tease as he wraps his arms around me.

"Yes, plural. As in four of them to be exact." He places his lips against mine and pulls away with a smile. "You think you can handle four kids?" He teases and I roll my eyes.

"Who says I'll be having four of your kids?" I question with a raised brow and he gives me a smirk.

"When you accepted my offer on that date you had no idea what you were in store for and you still don't." He captures my lips with his and before I can kiss him back a small voice calls out.

"Uncle Luke, I'm ready for my bath." Hunter yells and Lucas groans against my lips before releasing me and walking off while mumbling something under his breath.

I slide into Luke's bed after my shower wearing his sweater and a pair of black shorts. His arms wrap around me and his lips are just inches away from mine when his door creaks open and he turns on his light. Hunter shuts the door behind him before climbing onto Lucas’ bed and sliding in between us. "Your room is down the hall and you're supposed to be asleep." Lucas grunts as Hunter's huge green eyes drift from mine to his uncle.

"Uncle Zak makes me sleep in his bed sometimes." He mumbles as he cuddles closer to Lucas.

"Like I said before, uncle Zak isn't here and this is my bed." He rolls his eyes but relaxes as Hunter peaks up to meet his eyes.

"Is my dad coming back?" He asks with wide innocent eyes and Lucas’ eyes meet mine.

"Yeah, he's just on a small business trip. He will be back to fetch you from school tomorrow. What's with the questions?" He asks and Hunter gets on his back as his eyes meet the ceiling.

"The last time my mom left me with my dad she never came back." His eyes soften as he pokes Hunter's side and he let's out a soft giggle.

"Go to bed. Your father will be back tomorrow and I heard from someone that he has a new train for you." He switches the light off and rolls onto his back as Hunter turns to his side and cuddles closer to him. I close my eyes and try to imagine what the kid is going through, he's too young to know that his mother abandoned him but deep down he knows that she's never coming back. Being a six year old with fears like that must not come easy.

I wake up the next morning before the light bounces into the room and my alarm can go off. I wash my face and slip out the room leaving behind Lucas and Hunter who's arm is holding tightly onto Lucas. I make two plates of chocolate chip pancakes before Lucas steps into the living room in all his shirtless glory. His eyes meet mine as he wipes the sleep away from his eyes and a yawn escapes his lips.

"What are you doing up so early?" He wraps his arms around me from behind and places a kiss on my shoulder.

"I made pancakes, he was so upset last night. I figured if he woke up to pancakes it would lift his mood. Pancakes used to always make me feel better." I say as reach for the pan and rinse it out at the sink.

"You've never made pancakes for me before." He unwraps his arms from around me as he grabs a cup and pours himself some coffee.

"Yeah, well you're not a kid." I put the pan into the dishwasher and turn around to meet his eyes. He's sitting on a barstool sipping on his coffee with a lazy smile.

"You've spoilt him, now he's going to expect pancakes every time he sleeps over here." He reaches out for me and pulls me into his warmth.

"You're always complaining." I tease and he rolls his eyes before placing his lips against mine.

"Ew." A voice comes from the hallway and Lucas pulls back as our eyes meet Hunter's green orbs. His eyes drift from us to the pile of pancakes and they widen in shock as he runs up to the counter and climbs onto the barstool.

"Pancakes." He says in wonder and a smile makes it's way to my face.

"Go brush your teeth first." Lucas swats his hand and he pouts before obeying his uncles orders.

"You're mean." I tease and he shrugs his shoulders with a smirk.

"No, I'm smart." He says with his lips just inches apart from mine. "It gives us a little more time for some of this." He brushes his lips against mine and I yelp against his mouth when his hands move to cup my butt.

Lucas drops Hunter off at school before dropping me off at home. I'm working the nightshift tonight with Jake and I saw it fit to go home and get some rest first before my night ahead. When I walk into the apartment Drake is getting ready for work. My eyes meet his as does the last button on his crisp white shirt and he offers me a small smile. His eyes have dark circles around them and I walk up to him and place the back of my hand against his forehead.

"Stop." He swats my hand away and I give him a warning look.

"You should tell me if you aren't feeling well." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"I'm fine. I was up until midnight playing video games with Nicolas and Daniel." He assures me and I know better than to believe that nonsense. I know him better than that, I've known him for over ten years now and I know when he isn't feeling well. "I have to run, if you see Brooke please tell her to answer my calls." He says before grabbing his bag and keys.

"I will do, and eat something." I say as he pulls open the door. I know he hasn't eaten breakfast as yet.

"Yes mom." He sarcastically answers before stepping out and closing the door behind him.

I manage to catch up on a few hours of sleep and in that time Brooke never returned home. When I step into the residents locker room Dean and Lawson are in there getting ready to head home.

"Madison." Dean hoots as Lawson steps out and offers me a goodbye. "My roommate moved out a few days ago and I'm looking for a new one. Do you happen to know anyone?" He gives me a curious look as I grab a pair of clean scrubs.

"Actually, I'm looking for a new apartment. My thing with Drake was just temporary and I'm sure he doesn't want to have to share a bathroom with Brooke anymore." I offer and he gives me a smile.

"Yeah, that's great. Here's a key, you can go check it out tomorrow while I'm at work." He hands me the key and I nod. "I'll text you the address." He says before bidding me goodbye and walking out. Jake walks in as he leaves and he gives me a tired smile.

"Ready for the night shift?" I ask and he gives me a grunt.

When I step out the changing room my pager goes off and it's a 911 from General. I slip my lab coat on and throw my stethoscope over my neck before racing down the hall for a night with Edwards in General.