Tempted Heart (FREE TO READ)

Kabanata 6

KABANATA 6

HINDI masiyadong makagalaw at tensiyonado sa nangyayari ay pilit pa rin akong kumikilos ng maayos dahil nandito si Mama.

“So, pareho lang pala kayo ng school and course nitong anak ko, hija.” It was Tita Laura.

Her face reflects so much happiness. I was in owed for a moment. Napapansin ko kasing kanina pa hindi mapuknat ang ngiti sa kanyang labi at kahit ang asawa niyang si Tito Samuel ay napapatingin sa kanya pero kalaunan ay napapangiti na rin habang pinagmamasdan ito. Nakaka-impluwensiya kasi ang ngiti niya.

Tumingin ako kay Achilles. He bites his lips while looking at me then suddenly he smiled at me.

Tumitibok ang puso kong tumingin ulit sa Mama niya na parang nahahalinang marinig ang isasagot ko. Nilingon niya pansamantala din ang anak at mas lalo akong nahiya ng makita niyang nakatitig pa rin sa akin ang kanyang anak na nasa harap ko lang habang hindi pa rin kumakain.

“Opo, Tita.” Sagot ko bago iniumang ang pagkain sa aking bibig.

Matamis na ngumiti ito sa akin.

“Here pa, nak.” Saad ni Mama at nilagyan ako ng paborito kong dish.

“Thanks, Mama.” I said sweetly.

Tumango siya sa akin. Siya na ang naglagay pa sa iba habang ako ay parang batang tumatango. I was back from being a toddler. I wanna laughed at myself for acting like this. Well, I can’t even blame myself too, I just loved being pampered and cared by her.

“Ang sweet niyo naman.” Tita Laura said.

Bumalik ang tingin ko sa kanya.

“I wish to have a daughter too.” She said again but hopeful.

Nalungkot ako sa deklerasiyon niya. The longing from her voice for a daughter is very evident on her face.

“Sweetheart…”Tito Sam called her.

Napangiti ako. Bat ba kasi ang sweet ng tawagan nila? Pati tuloy ako ay kinikilig.

“So why don’t you try again, Laura? Pwede pa naman iyan sa age mo.” Mama suggested happily.

Natahimik sila kaagad.

“Mom almost died giving birth to me.” It was Achilles who answered.

Hinawakan ni Tita ang balikat ng anak ng makitang naging malungkot ang mata nito saglit. He doesn’t have to blame himself for that.

“Masiyadong delikado at maselan kasi akong magbuntis, Doc. My obgyne even suggested that I should proceed into cesarean with my son but I insisted that I must go on normal delivery. Nahirapan akong ilabas siya dahil masiyado siyang malikot sa tiyan ko and his size is above from the average.” Pagpapaliwanag niya.

Tumango si Mama sa kanya.

“Even if I’m your obgyne, I would suggest the cesarean process too.”

Tita sighed heavily.

“Pero gusto ko talagang maranasan na ako mismo ang magluwal sa anak ko. It was really fun and a scary moment.” Tapos ay natawa siya.

“That’s why I don’t want her to bare another child again. My wife’s attitude is so stubborn and she’s really too hard to resist when she’s pregnant.” Tito Samuel chuckled afterwards.

“Samuel!”

Napatawa si Tito sa naging asal ni Tita.

“But I know she’s always the boss.”

Natawa kaming lahat sa sinabi ni Tito. Namula si Tita sa sinabi ng asawa niya kaya mas lalo kaming natawa. Pabiro naman niyang hinampas ang asawa. Tumingin ako kay Mama. I suddenly stopped my smiles.

She’s smiling but there was something…

She may look happy but I know she’s not. Natigilan siya ng maramdaman ang titig ko. She then turned her head on me. Without a second thought, she smiled on me. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at pinisil ito saglit.

She’s reassuring me that she’s okay which I know she’s not.

“Heto pa, hija.” Tita Laura handed me a delicious dish that has a lot of ginger above it. “It’s delicious, it’s actually Achilles favorite.”

Ngumiti ako ng pilit. I hate ginger!

“Braises is allergic to ginger, Mom.” Achilles said quickly.

Hindi pa nakuntento ay kinuha niya ang plater noon at kusang inalayo sa akin. Gulat akong napatingin sa kanya dahil sa nalaman niya. How did he know that? Even Mama stiffened at his sudden serious statement. Nahintatakutan akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kanya. I didn’t say anything to him.

“H—how did you know that, hijo?” Hindi makapaniwalang saad ni Mama sa kanya.

He gulped. “Maria, her best friend, accidentally told me.”

Really? Hindi ko alam na alam iyon ni Maria. I never remembered that I told her about that. It’s very surprising.

“Oh!” Si Mama.

I awkwardly smiled at her parents when they turned their gaze on me.

“Huwag magpahalatang hibang, Achilles.” Makahulugang saad ni Tito sa kanyang anak.

Hindi ko maintindihan ang pinag-uusapan nila.

Yumuko si Achilles at umiigting ang pangang nag-angat ng tingin pagkatapos.

“I’m trying, Dad.” Saad niya sa ama.

It was Tita who clapped her hand again to ease the tension.

“Pagpasensiyahan niyo na. Ganiyan lang talaga mag-usap ang mag-amang ito.” She smiled.

“No. It was fine, Laura.” Mama replied.

Hanggang sa natapos ang dinner namin ay nauna na kaming nauwi sa kanila dahil maaga din ang duty na naman ni Mama bukas kahit Sunday. Tita Laura even invited us to her upcoming birthday celebration. Mama was about to decline but Tita was so persistent.

Kaya habang nag-uusap sila ay hindi ko namalayan na nakalapit na sa akin si Achilles. Bahagyang agresibo ang kanyang paglapit kaya napaatras ako ng kaunti.

“Are you sure you’re okay now?”

Nagmamadali akong tumango. “O—oo. Ginamot na din ni Mama ang sugat ko kaya hindi na masiyadong namumula ang tuhod, braso at panga ko,”

He eyed me sharply then his stares shifted to my body.

He inhaled sharply.

“I—is there something wrong?” I asked worried.

Umiling siya. “Be careful on your way back home with your mom.”

“Kayo din ng pamilya mo.” Kaagad kong sabi.

Natahimik kami kaagad. The cold wind suddenly blew in our way. Pati buhok ko ay napapasayaw dahil doon. Hinawi ko ang buhok ko sa kabilang side ng leeg ko at hinayaan ang ibang buhok na tumatakas. Hindi niya ako nilubayan ng titig kaya ninerbiyos akong kumilos para sa sarili. Every move that I make, he really make sure he will be an audience for it.

“Aren’t you cold?” He asked.

Umiling ako. “No. The wind is not that cold. Isa pa hindi pa naman masiyadong malalim ang gabi.”

With him standing right next to me, I don’t think I would get cold. He’s presence are making the air with me warmed. Madaling mag-init ang katawan ko at palaging tumitibok ng mabilis ang puso ko. In my twenty-one years of existence, I never thought that I would feel this all foreign things to me. Marami ang nagtatangkang mangligaw sa akin noon pero lahat sila ay walang kayang pumukaw sa natutulog kong damdamin.

Dagdagan pa sa nangyari sa mama at papa ko. I would think I could love a man if all I could think is the hatred towards my father. But then again, why does my heart beats for him?

“I never said I saw her on you, Braises.” Nagsalita siya bigla.

Napayuko ako. “Do I look like her?” I asked him.

He sighed. “If I said yes, will you stay away from me from now on?”

Natahimik ako.

“Please, don’t think that way. I found you not because you looked like her. I found you because you are you.” Seryoso niyang saad. “I tried evaluating my thoughts last night and I realized that you are different in some way.”

Am I thinking irrational? Nagiging inconsiderate ba ako sa ibang manliligaw ko at siya ay hinahayaan kong makalapit sa akin ng ganito?

I’m confused.

“And to answer your question… Yes, you looked like her but I never ever saw you on her.”

Napangiti ako ng wala sa oras.

Silence was then surrounded us. “Can I text you later?” He asked so suddenly.

“Are you busy? Or you’ll just go to sleep when you get home?”

Mas lalong tumibok ang puso ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Nag-iinit ang likod ko ng mag-angat ng tingin sa kanya.

“I---I may stay for a minute later…” I stuttered.

He smiled and massaged his jaw for a bit. He looks so sexy while doing that.

“Can I text you later then?” He asked again a bit hopeful.

“Yes.” I whispered slowly enough for him to hear what I say.

He smiled again.

Ilang minuto pa kaming nagkatinginan bago ako tinawag ni Mama para umuwi na kami. Bago iyon ay nagpaalam ako kina Tito at Tita. Hindi na ako halos makatingin kay Achilles dahil sa kabang nararamdaman kaya mas minabuti ko na lang na yumuko.

Hanggang sa makauwi ng bahay ay tahimik lang akong pumasok.

“You’ve been so silent the whole ride. Okay ka lang, nak?” Nag-aalalang tanong ni Mama sa akin.

Matamis akong ngumiti sa kanya agad. “I’m okay, Ma.”

Lumapit siya sa akin. “Nangliligaw ba sa iyo si Achilles, Bree?”

Umiling ako at bahagyang nagulat sa tanong. Ngumiti siya at tumango tango, tila hindi kunbinsido.

“Totoo, Ma. Kaibigan ko lang siya.” Depensa ko.

Kaibigan nga ba?

She lifted her hands. “Yes, Bree. I know. You don’t have to be that defensive.” Natatawa niyang saad.

“Parang ayaw niyo kasing maniwala sa akin, eh!” Medyo iritado kong sagot.

Mas natawa siya ngayon sa reaksiyon ko.

“Ma!” Pagalit kong saad sa kanya.

“Yeah. Fine! I wouldn’t pester you anymore about that.” She said immediately.

“Goodnight Bree!” She kissed my cheeks.

“Night, Ma.”

“Pero sabihan mo ako ha kung sasagutin mo na!” Sigaw niya ng pumasok ako sa kwarto ko.

I rolled my eyes defeatedly.

Kaagad akong pumunta sa banyo para maghilamos at magbihis na rin pantulog. I scan the time on my watch, it’s nine in the evening already. Kinuha ko kaagad ang contact lens sa mata ko bago naghilamos.

I stared at my eyes for a minute in the mirror. It’s been a long time since I did it. It’s really lifeless and dull. Parang walang buhay kong tutuusin. Mama said it was beautiful, but I think it was a cursed that’s why I hide it. It’s a cold eyes and I don’t want it. Sumama ang pakiramdam ko kaagad. Mabilis kong tinapos ang paghilamos ko at pagkatapos ay nagbihis.

Nanghihina akong nahiga sa kama ko pagkatapos. I stared at the ceiling of my room. I can’t believe what just happened today.

He looks so genuine when he does some sweet gesture for me. He’s really sweet, coldly sweet. Hindi niya ba nahahalata na ako ang nahihiya para sa kanya? I’m not used to that kind of…

I don’t know what it’s called.

I sighed heavily.

Maybe, itutulog ko nalang lahat ng to. I’m sleepy already. Marami pa akong gagawin bukas.

But before I could do that, my phone beeped making me jump on my bed. Kinuha ko ito at tiningnan kong sino ang nag-text.

Unknown number?

‘Good evening. It’s me Achilles.’

Napabangon ako ng wala sa sarili ng mabasa iyon. I groaned when I realized that he would text me right now.

Makakalimutin na talaga ako!

I was about to reply when my phone beep again.

Him: ‘Are asleep already?’

Agad akong nagtype ng isasagot.

Ako: No, kakahiga ko pa lang.

Wala pang isang minute ay nagreply kaagad siya. Sana all mabilis magtype.

Him: ‘Did I disturb you?’

He’s humble now. I giggled. Agad ko ding sinuway ang sarili ng mapagtanto ang naging reaksiyon. Para akong teenager na naghihintay sa text ni crush.

Ako: ‘Hindi pa naman ako natutulog. Okay lang.’

I nervously bite my lips.

My phone beeped again.

Him: ‘Great.’

Wala akong maisip sa sagot niya kaya nag-iisip ako pero mukhang dead end na. Pero tumunog ulit ang cp ko hudyat na nagtext siya ulit.

Him: ‘You really look beautiful tonight.’

Nag-init ang mukha ko sa nabasang text mula sa kanya. Napatakip ako sa aking bibig ng bahagyang umawang iyon.

I squealed a bit. Tinago ko ang mukha sa unan at parang batang naghihiya.

Seriously, Braises?!

Him: ‘Are you asleep now? I’m sorry for texting you this late. I’ll sleep now too. Goodnight, Braises.’

Agad akong nagreply.

Ako: ‘Goodnight.’

Binaba ko ang cellphone ko at nag-iinit pa rin akong humiga ulit sa kama. Even with my fast beating heart, I still manage to close my eyes.

But hours had passed, I’m still awake. Nakalimutan na ang antok na nararamdaman.

I sighed again.