Tempted Heart (FREE TO READ)

Kabanata 17

KABANATA 17

NAIWAN akong nakatulala sa mga sumunod na mga oras. Nakauwi na kami sa bahay niya at hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin ako sa tamang huwisyo. I tried suppressing my anger on him. I tried to be calmed. I tried to understand. But I always ended up in a worst situation. Always ended up in a wrong decicion.

After he said that, he didn’t say such words anymore. As if he was waiting for me to settle the score.

He gave me space after that.

I felt so gloomy and unable to think right now. Freedom equals s*x.

“s**t!” I muttered slightly crumpling my hair. Mas lalong nadagdagan ang mga hinaing ko para sa sarili. I made the situation worst. Hindi ko to napag-isipan at mas lalong hindi ko inaasahan mula sa kanya.

My period lasted hours ago. Time must have favored him too much because of what’s happening with me right now. Gusto kong irason sa kanya na mayroon pa ako pero mas lalo akong nadismaya sa sarili nang mawala na ang akin ngayon. My feet are healed too.

What’s that supposed to mean?

He really got his luck right now, this time.

Napagdesisiyonan kong lumabas ng kwarto at hinanap siya. Natagpuan ko siya sa kusina habang nagluluto na nang pananghalian namin. Achilles is really a gifted man in all aspects that my life evolved with. I never even remembered that he knows how to cook when we were together.

How would you know? You broke up with him, remember? My subconscious slapped the reality on me.

He suddenly turned his body on me when he noticed me. Nagyuko ako ng paningin at mas minabuting sa paa ko nalang nakatingin. I felt relieved while not looking in his eyes directly. I don’t want to see his hot stares lingering in my soul. I don’t want him to notice everything on me because that’s must be the last resort that he will do for me. I don’t want him to know the truth because I might break down and say it to him directly.

I don’t want it.

“Come here, Bree.” He speak, finally.

Madali akong umupo sa upuang inoffer niya. I didn’t lift up my face. Akala ko ay kukuhanin niya na ako ng kanin kagaya ng parati niyang ginagawa pero nakita kong nasa tabi ko pa rin siya, nakatayo lamang doon habang ako ay nakayuko.

I sighed again.

I don’t have a choice to lift my head then.

“There...” He stared at my face. “Better.”

I gulped at the intensity of his stares.

Umupo siya sa upuang katabi ko at hindi ako nilubayan ng titig. Nahihiya na naman akong nagyuko ng tingin.

“You were so confident earlier, offering something that you didn’t think first. Now, whose fire are you playing with, Bree?!” He started.

Umiling ako, hindi makapaniwala na pinag-uusapan namin ito ngayon. This is not the right time to talk about this even if he declared that it will be now! I don’t know if I am the selfish one here when all I could think about is his selfish ego too!

“How shameless are you?!” I blurted out suddenly. Ignoring his deadly stares, I manage to look at him longer.

Umigting ang panga at mas lalong dumilim ang kanyang mukha sa tanong ko. His raging breath reached my cheeks. It added more fire in our scene right now. Both of us are mad and if no one will give way, we’ll both drown in that fire.

“I’m shameless enough to accept your undecided offer, baby.” He said, so serious.

Manghang akong nakatingin sa kanya kahit ang puso ko ay walang katapusang tumitibok ng malakas.

“W-what the.. .Iyan pa rin ba ang iniisip mo hanggang ngayon?”

He chuckled slightly. “You tempted me with that offer, my Braises. Now, you’ve got the nerve to be shocked when in fact you are the one who offered?”

“B-baliw ka ba?”

He smirked. “I’ve been crazy since the first time I saw you, Bree. Hindi mo na ako matatakot sa mga salita mo. I’m claiming you no matter what.” Desido niyang saad. Hindi ko makitaan ang ilang pagsisi sa bawat bigkas ng salita sa kanyang bibig. I don’t know what should I feel.

“D-did you even care about me?” Mapait kong sabi sa kanya kahit gusto ko nang umiyak. He just wanted me because I can pleasure him, is that it? "How was I supposed to know that your intentions on me are real?"

I felt him stilled. There was absolute stillness.

“How could you do this to me? Alam kong malaki ang kasalanan ko sa iyo pero hindi mo ako kailangang pwersahin ng ganito kahit alam mong ako ang nagsabi niyon. I wanted to offer some services which don’t involve your s****l needs.” I inhaled sharply, lessening the pain I had with my heart right now. Even my own breath seemed to die as soon as it left my mouth.

I know tensing against the shaking of my limbs is useless but I do it instinctively, trying to suppress for a few more moments what I know I cannot. Pumikit din siya ng mariin. I wanted to suppress it all on me. Kaya ko pa. Kunting kunti na lang at baka masagi na niya talaga ang pasensiya ko.

Silence erupts through every corner of the kitchen. He was lost in words too. This kind of thick silence would normally chill me, especially on an inky night devoid of even moonlight or stars, but today it works like a salve. I feel it. The more absolute it is the stronger its medicinal effect.

As I scanned Achilles face for a reaction, the silence hung in the air like the suspended moment before a falling glass shatters on the ground.

“Damn!” Mura niya na nagpagulat sa akin. “Damn!”

Wala siyang inaksayang panahon at basta na lang niya akong hinaklit upang mayakap ng mahigpit. Nagulat man ay wala akong magawa dahil sa lakas niya.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry for scaring you this much.” He snuggled on my neck more, leaving me breathless because of his action.

My heart sunk because of his sorry. I felt my whole world stop. Hindi ko natuloy ang pag-iyak. Bakit siya pa? Bakit siya pa ang pinili ng puso ko para mahalin ko nang ganito kagrabe. I’m not that strong to accept him again but that was unsure. This path of life is challenge enough, without making mountains out of molehills, and yes, we all see the craggy mountain of ice when we are afraid, triggered, maxed out emotionally. That’s how I felt about him.

“I just got carried away. I won’t do it again…”

Huminga ako ng malalim.

“Then, w-what about my freedom?”

Mas lalo siyang naging malikot sa bangdang leeg ko. I know he’s trying to calm down a bit. Pero ngayong sumubok na naman ako ay baka magalit na naman siya. I’ve been here for almost a month at kung hindi ako gagawa ng hakbang ay baka mas lalo lang niya akong ikukulong dito.

“Why do you always want to talk about that, hmm?” He whispered, calming his own breath on my neck. It tickles but not enough to bother my own desperation.

“I’m not caging you here, baby. I’m just doing this so I can protect you. Bakit ba palagi mo akong pinapangunahan sa mga desisiyon ko?” Hindi siya nakuntento at mas lalo akong ipinatayo at pinaupo sa kandungan niya. Mas lalo akong namula ng wala akong magawa. I’ve never been this intimate with him. For the record, this is too much.

“Protection from what? Hindi kita maintindihan.” I asked curiously.

He planted a kiss on my neck. “You’ll know about it soon. I can’t let you go out in the meantime. I’m on the process of resolving it for now.”

What? Anong pinagsasabi niya?

I felt my heart raced more. Kung nararamdaman niya iyon ay wala na akong kawala. I even felt my own vibration because of it.

“Please... just trust me, hmm?” Ipinatong niya ang kanyang baba sa aking balikat at kahit hindi ako lumingon alam kong nakatitig lang siya sa akin.

“Bree...” Tawag niya ulit sa akin. I can’t turn my head on him.

He chuckled. Napatingin ako sa kanya, saw akas. He is really a damn temptation to my whole system.

“You're throwing a fit.” Achilles amused voice lingered on my ears.

He slightly tilted his head. Without any remorse, he attacked my lips with so much hunger. Hindi pa siya nakuntento at hinawakan ng marahan ang beywang ko at mas inilapit sa kanya. I can’t seem to understand how he can slightly pulled me closer to him while my defences are weakening because of his moves. Bawat kilos ay parang sanay na sanay, hindi mapagkakailang may karanasan na siya sa iba. My heart ached by just thinking him with another woman on the same bed.

I stopped the kiss.

He groaned.

Hinagilap pa niya ang labi ko pero tuluyan na akong lumayo sa kanya. I looked into his lips and eyes. His eyes drawn so much desire and needs. His lips were parted and red because of the kiss. I felt an urge to do something, to comfort him, but also myself.

“Achilles...” I warned him when he wants to kiss me again.

His forehead contorted darkly.

He frustratedly bite his lips. “f**k!” He said.

Namilog ang mata ko.

“M-minumura mo na ako?!” Hindi ko makapaniwalang saad sa kanya.

Tumitig siya sa akin. Lips still parted. If I wasn’t just thinking inappropriate earlier, I might kiss him right now,

“f**k! No—I’m sorry, baby. It’s not meant for you, of course. Hindi ko kayang gawin iyon sa iyo.” He said frantically.

I wanted to smile when I saw his bothered face, but I choose not to.

“How many women did you bedded before?” I asked him.

He stilled and I saw his Adam apple moves. My heart skips a beat. Hindi siya nagsalita at bagkos ay mas lalo pang naging hindi permanente ang mata niya sa akin. I even saw his cheeks reddening, even his ears. Hindi ko alam kong magaglit ako sa kanya ngayon o mas matatawa. He looks like he was caught because of some terrible but naughty crime.

“Achilles?” I called him to get his attention.

Umangat ang mata niya sa akin. I saw him smirked.

“Can we skip this topic?”

Umiling ako ng mariin. “No.”

He’s claiming me as his wife. Even if I don’t have to. Even if this was just all fake, I wanted to have the slightest privilege to know about that in his life. There’s no harm in asking. Plus, my question is harmless. Kung sasabihin niyang marami, hinanda ko na ang puso at isipan ko sa ganiyan. Lalaki siya at alam kong..hay naku.. hindi ko na kayang dugtungan.

It men and their needs. I don’t want to argue with that.

He sighed.

“Never did I ever get laid to any woman before.” He says in barely more than a whisper.

I sits frozen, from fear. Umiling ako ng ilang beses, hindi makapaniwala sa kanya.

“Hindi ako naniniwala sa iyo.” Hindi ko makapaniwalang saad. He got all. Looks, money, fame and everything. I can’t believe him. Someone like him, can’t be a saint in that kind of s****l department.

He smirked.

“Come on, baby. You just asked me, so I answered you honestly. Ayaw mong maniwala? Well, I get that a lot. No one believes me either. I’m a magnet, both to women and men. So you’ve really wondering why? The answer is, I wanted to preserve mine for the woman I love.”

My heart is aching, I don’t know why.

“Is it a sin to do that? Kung kayang gawin ng babae, bakit hindi ko kayang gawin? I’m not a slave of my own libido, baby.” He whispered.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanya. Hindi ko maisatinig kong ano ang dapat kong sabihin dahil pati rin ako ay hindi makapaniwala. Should I believe him?

“T-that’s impossible... I saw you once in a bar.”

Tumawa siya sa akin.

“We didn't have s*x if that's what you mean.”

I’m really curious. How can he do that? He's lying!

“Kahit kailan hindi ka man lang…” Hindi ko matuloy tuloy.

“What, babe?” He really wants me to voice out those shocking words.

“A-aren’t you tempted when some woman wants you?” I stuttered.

Umiling siya.

“From the very first time I saw you....I only want you, Bree.” He replies, his voice low and husky.

Pilit kong inaalala kong kailan kami nagkita. But it was really impossible, unless he saw me when I was just a child.

Namilog ang mata ko.

Tumango siya sa akin.

He leaned closer.

“Yes, baby. I’ve already marked you since you were just in seven grade. Now, I will really make you mine.” He whispered.

"What?!"

Shocked at his words, I can’t formulate a word on my brain.

Hindi ako nakapagsalita, kahit nang matapos kaming kumain ay wala pa ring akong maisatinig dahil iniisip ko talaga kong kailan ko siya nakita at kailan din niya ako nakita. He keeps looking in my direction but I didn’t mind him. Kahit halos mabaliw na ako kakaisip ng pumunta ako ng kwarto ay hindi ko pa rin siya maalala.

How did this happen? I mean... Uhrgg!

I don’t know anymore.

What I am gonna do?

The door opened again, revealing Achilles handsome face. Hindi niya talaga ako titigilan, huh? Hindi niya talaga ako hahayaang makapag-isip. Gusto niya talaga akong mabaliw, kakaisip kong saan at kailan niya ako nakita.

“Stop thinking about it already, Bree. It won’t work!”

I glared at him when he chuckled.

“Huwag kang lumapit sa akin.”

Natigil ang tawa niya. I saw his serious face drifted off my body.

“Achilles!” I yelled at him when I saw his stares on my body.

He pursed his lips and looked at me. “What?!”

“Stop staring at my body.”

“I’m just appreciating the view.”

Mas lalong nag-init ang mukha ko. This man. This damn brute has the audacity to say it on me.

“Kaya hindi talaga ako naniniwala sa iyo. Ikaw na walang karanasan?” I chuckled. “I highly doubt it.” Umiling ako.

I stifled a surprised gasp as his soft lips captured mine in an instant, causing my body to flush with heat.

“Don’t provoke me, Bree. As I’ve said, I’ve never been with a woman before.” He stopped the kiss and whispered that on me.

“I don’t want you to pass out if I just claim you without preparing your body. It might exhaust you too much. I don’t want my wife to pass out in our first night.” Achilles words stole the energy I didn't need to show.

“So don’t even try to do this again or you will end up staying the whole night, making love with me.” He fully added.