Many Words In Silence

Chapter 13

I have no idea why I followed him into the woods. Every single part of me was screaming to get the hell out of dodge, to turn around and run in the opposite direction, but weirdly my legs had a mind of their own – following him into the darkness that was consuming us more and more with every step that I took.

“Where are we going?” I whispered into the darkness, afraid there would be something or somebody that could hear us and jump out on us at any available moment.

“You will see in a second,” he said loud enough that I wanted to jump.

Why did I keep getting myself into situations like this? Even if this turned out to be a perfect evening I would probably not be able to enjoy it since I could feel the anxiety in me building up to critical levels. I wanted to be back in the hotel room with Timothy rather. Why did I not pick the place for this date? I could have easily asked Timothy where he would have suggested we should go even though I didn’t know this town at all.

“I think we should turn back,” I whispered, hoping he would not hear the fear in my voice. “I don’t think I like the woods at night. It could be dangerous.”

“No dude! Just relax. You have me with you and I’m bulking.”

I could imagine Fynn trying to look my way and giving one of his cocky grins, but there was no way I could make it out with the canopy of trees blocking out the bit of moonlight that could have lit our path where we were stepping now.

“Do you even know where we are going? We could be lost. I got lost in a forest a long time ago… And let’s just say… Well, if it wasn’t for someone I loved a lot I would’ve probably died there,” I said with a little bit more bravado in my voice.

This was a good memory. I liked thinking of Blake this way. Of the Blake that tried to save me countless times. The Blake that is alive and running around in my mind. Not the one that I have come to know in the form of a headstone in a graveyard where I go when I need to cry. Why do graveyards even exist? It’s a constant reminder that the person is actually dead and would never be able to talk to you again. It reminds you of that moment when you actually lost them to eternity. It robs you of the memories of when they were good and alive and loved you with everything in them.

“You really loved him?” Fynn asked as we kept on walking.

“Yes. I did,” I answered.

Sometimes I wonder, now that many years have passed if I really did love him. Did the love actually start before he died or did it come after it? Was it nothing more than a hero worship because he was the one to save me? Or was it guilt because he died that kept my love for him alive? I didn’t like to dwell on these thoughts. It made me sad, and Blake didn’t deserve me thinking things like this.

I walked right into Fynn. He had stopped right in front of me. I could feel him turning around, his hand searching for my hands. When he finally found them he took both my hands in his, holding them.

“Do you think you would ever be able to love another?” he asked. There was a sort of urgency in his voice. Something eager.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly, feeling my heart beating in my throat. It wasn’t anxiety this time. It was something completely different. “Maybe if it was a really special guy…”

“Well then it’s settled. I am the most special guy on this planet.”

The magic was broken and I pulled my hands from his. There were glimpses where I could see someone in Fynn that I could potentially fall for, and then he became an asshole again with an attitude that could fill an entire city hall.

“Let’s just get this date over and done with,” I said as I pushed him out of my way, trying to find my own way through the dark path that I didn’t know.

“You’re going the wrong way,” Fynn said, obviously still standing in the spot where I left him. “We need to make a right here. Where we are going is right ahead.”

He was right. Within a few minutes of me following him I saw a clearing opening up in front of us. An opening with lots and lots of light.

I gasped.

It must have taken him hours to set this up. Unless off course he really did have more money than intelligence and paid someone to do this for him.

In front of me was not just a clearing where no trees stood and the dirt looked soft and inviting, covered with decaying leaves. There were fairy lights hung on surrounding trees, lanterns standing here and here on chopped off tree stumps, and right in the centre a round table, set for two.

“Impressed?” Fynn said. I could see his grin this time and I could imagine he was just waiting for me to say how he has swept me off my feet.

“Are those lanterns burning on oil?” I asked raising an eyebrow, refusing to give him what he wants.

“Why, no my prince. Off course they run off battery power. I would never risk the kingdom of my beloved prince to a fire,” he said, falling down on his knees in front of me, his face pleading.

“You are so full of s**t,” I said as I walk past his, inviting myself to sit at the table in the middle of the clearing.

It was wonderful how the silver sparkled in the moonlight, and how carefully the table was set. Even the red roses in the middle of the table was beyond compare. But it felt like too much. It was overdone. It wasn’t like Blake would’ve done this. He would’ve saved something special like this for an anniversary, or for when we truly needed it. He knew that McDonald’s burgers in the park was more than enough to impress me. I didn’t need all the extra trimmings, because extra trimmings like this meant you needed to impress. And a need to impress like this on a first date meant that you were either lacking something or had something to hide.

“And? What do you think?”

Fynn’s face made me want to throw the knife on the table at him. I could not believe that one guy could be this arrogant. Even the way he asked a simple question was cocky.

“It depends on what’s for dinner,” I answered, looking at my empty plate and finally deciding that I was indeed hungry and that I would rather like to eat and get out of the woods before some animal made me his dinner.

“Well my lord, it is the best dinner ever, but we should start with some starters first,” Fynn said, bowing again.

“Let’s just go for the main,” I muttered as he walked toward the trees where the food must have been hidden. “Because I don’t think I can handle three full courses with an asshole like you.”

I have finally made up my mind about Fynn. Apart from the fact that he reminded me a bit of Blake there was nothing to him that I liked. Actually I disliked the majority of his personality, not even to mention his stupid grin. It wasn’t sexy anymore. It was irritating.

“Butternut soup,” he said as he put a bowl in front of me. I hated soup. Soup is for sick people, and I have never been sick enough to ask for soup. I didn’t say that out loud of course, since he did go through all the trouble to try and set up a romantic date in the middle of a forest. I could not help myself checking if there was a blanket somewhere on the ground where we was planning to ravish me after dinner. I didn’t see any.

“Thanks,” I said. I didn’t even wait for him to sit down with his soup before I dug in with my spoon, hoping to wash off this terrible liquid as fast as I possibly could without wanting to vomit.

“I hope you like butternut soup. I made it myself. I’m quite the good chef,” Fynn said as he also started digging in.

“Mmm,” I sounded. It must have been looking like I was either really hungry, or that I was really enjoying the soup as I wolfed it down as fast as I could with the hopes of not tasting it. I looked around for something to wash it off with, but I could not see anything to drink on the table. Clearly mister awesome chef forgot the main part of a romantic dinner – the wine.

Fynn was barely halfway through his soup and I was already finished. I had to swallow a few times to make sure it didn’t come up again. Either he was a really bad cook, or people that like butternut soup do not have normal taste buds. Of that I am now certain.

“Gosh… You were really hungry? Would you like some more?” Fynn asked, looking into my bowl.

I just shook my head. I wanted this date to come to an end, and it feels like the minutes were dragging out with every passing moment. If I had to sit through two more vile courses I would run without even staying to find out what he and Lucy spoke about.

“Why don’t you tell me about yourself?” Fynn asked, still looking fairly smug with the fact that I clearly “enjoyed” his soup so much.

“There isn’t much to tell,” I answered. It was possibly a lie, but it was one hundred present true that I had no desire to tell him anything about myself. Certain things were better left unsaid.

“Okay, then let me try and tell you about what I know about you and then you can fill in the blanks?” Fynn said as he leaned forward on the table.

What on earth did Lucy tell him? I felt my throat tighten up.

“You’re emo and you like running in front of people’s cars to pick up guys. You have incredibly good taste in men, which is why we are here tonight, and you have had a significant loss in the past. How does that sound?”

Even with a serious conversation he managed to work in a compliment for himself. I did however feel like I could breathe again. He obviously knew nothing about me.

“I used to be emo. I don’t like being hit by cars, because of drivers not being able to keep their eyes on the road. The only reason why we are here is because I am nosey and want to understand why my best friend would desert me in a unknown town because of a cocky, arrogant asshole, and the fact that I lost someone I love a long time ago has got nothing to do with you at all.”

I thought that it summed things up nicely. Under normal circumstances I would not have been able to say anything like that, but something about Fynn and how sure he was about himself just pissed me off. Somehow I could handle it with Lucy, but this guy was just too much for me.

I waited for his reply. Getting ready to push my chair backwards in order to make a quick escape away from this man, who I felt very certain now I did not want to know at all.

“It’s time for the main course,” he said as he stood up before I could even make a move. Walking away with two empty bowls before I even had a chance to say what was on my mind.