what does peace feel like?

Chapter 1 Have you ever smiled so much that people forgot to ask if you were okay? ‎Have you ever smiled so much that people forgot to ask if you were okay? ‎I have. ‎People say smiling is a sign of happiness. ‎I wonder who came up with that. ‎My name is Luna. ‎I'm seventeen years old, a Grade 12 student. ‎If you asked anyone to describe me, they'd probably say, ‎"She's always smiling." ‎And they're right. ‎I smile when I'm happy. ‎I smile when I'm nervous. ‎I smile when I'm tired. ‎I even smile when my heart feels too heavy to carry. ‎It's become part of me. ‎Just like touching my hair whenever someone asks me a question. ‎They think it's just a habit. ‎Maybe it is. ‎Or maybe smiling is easier than explaining why I'm hurting. ‎Sometimes I wonder... ‎What does peace feel like? ‎Is it waking up without your chest feeling heavy? ‎Is it coming home without fear? ‎Is it hearing your name without expecting to be compared to someone else? ‎I don't know. ‎Maybe that's because I've never really met peace before. ‎Home is supposed to be where people feel safe. ‎Mine was a place where every report card decided whether I was enough. ‎Where every mistake reminded me that someone else was always better. ‎They said they wanted the best for me. ‎Maybe they did. ‎But all I ever wanted... ‎...was to be understood. ‎People often ask me why I overthink everything. ‎Why I don't trust people easily. ‎Why I smile when my eyes are begging for rest. ‎I usually shrug and say, ‎"I'm okay." ‎But the truth is... ‎It all started when I was nine years old. ‎Before then... ‎I wasn't alone. ‎I had a twin. ‎Lily. ‎We shared everything. ‎Our birthdays. ‎Our dreams. ‎Our laughter. ‎She was brave. ‎I was quiet. ‎She was the sunshine. ‎I was the moon that followed her light. ‎We promised we'd never leave each other. ‎But promises... ‎...don't stop tragedy. ‎Lily never came home. ‎I did. ‎From that day on... ‎The house became quieter. ‎My father left for work every morning without stopping by our room. ‎There was no reason to anymore. ‎Lily wasn't there. ‎My mother stopped preparing meals for me. ‎She left food on the table... ‎But she never called my name. ‎No one looked at me the same way again. ‎They never said the words. ‎They didn't have to. ‎Every stare whispered the same thing. ‎She did it. ‎She was jealous of Lily. ‎Lily was the bright one. ‎She should have protected her. ‎Without a single word leaving their mouths... ‎I became guilty. ‎I caged myself inside a crime I never committed. ‎But... ‎There was someone. ‎My grandma. ‎The parent I always had. ‎She wasn't rich. ‎She didn't have big words. ‎She couldn't erase my pain. ‎But she never made me carry it alone. ‎She saw through every fake smile. ‎Every forced laugh. ‎Every "I'm okay." ‎One evening, she held my hand and smiled. ‎"My child," she said softly. ‎"Don't spend your life waiting for people to become the parents you need." ‎"Live your life. Chase your dreams. Build the future your heart deserves." ‎"And one day..." ‎"...love others the way you always wished to be loved." ‎I didn't understand her words then. ‎But years later... ‎They became the reason I never gave up.