His Beauty

Blood lust. It's something in me that never goes away because of my f****d up childhood. It doesn't matter if it is my blood or others. Which is why I end up carving myself up with my knives. When Malcolm saw what I was doing to myself he begged me to join the fights. He thought they would satisfy my bloodlust. They for a little bit at least. Until people were too scared to fight me. Because I didn't stop punching until my opponent laid in a pool of their own blood on the ground. Most if not all we're scared of me. They called me insane and none wanted to fight me. They didn't want to fight any of us. I was just the most insane. They called us the insanities. It was a stupid nickname that they gave us. We kept it though not really caring. First there was me. I'm called Belle. Then came bloodhound and well let's just say you really don't want to go near him. L. W. G. Was the next one. She has the d i d dissociative identity disorder. L was for Lily. W for winter. And she was for Grace. Winter and Lily were all right but Grace was a lot like me and no one wanted to go near her. Can't say I blame them. Sometimes I thought she was even worse than me. Then there was military he's not all too here if you know what I mean. He tends to flash back to the time of his service. That causes him to freeze wherever he is and not move. The longest time he's not moved is for about a week so far. You don't want to wake him from these things or he might just attack you. It's happened before. I tossed him on the shoulder trying to ask him what he wanted to eat. The next thing you know both of his hands were around my throat. I just threw him off of me and told him if he ever touched me again I'd break every bone in his body. I didn't like being touched. Not sure if he even heard me since he was back to being frozen in his memories. I avoided him after that. I wasn't in the mood to kill him. He is tolerable. If he touch me again though I would have killed him so it was for the best. Then there was Fears. It was a silly name for a man that feared nothing. Supposedly he used to fear everything. Then his parents decided to take him to so-called therapy and it messed them up so much that he just fears nothing. I think he's numb to everything and anything around him. Not that it's any of my business. None of us talk about our past. Each of us know it's better left unspoken. Unless, of course the past catches up with the present. It's happened before. We used to have another member. He was here even before me. I knew him only briefly before he disappeared. Not even Malcolm new where he went at first. That was until the body was found. He was completely skinned alive from what the doctor Malcolm had gotten said. When I asked what happened Malcolm just said his past caught up to him. If something like that happens with us we know what to do. Malcolm won't like it but it's our past not his. I took a bite of my food trying to eat even though I wasn't hungry. I don't seem to get hungry and I guess that could be because I was starved most of my childhood not sure though. Malcolm likes to make sure I eat and has me monitored. His answer to me is if I don't eat I don't fight. So I eat what I'm given. I don't even bother to see what I'm eating I just eat it and get ready for my next fight. It's what we all do here. We're in an Underground fighting circuit. Malcolm took us all in. Sometimes I don't understand how he deals with us. I can't even deal with these guys at times. When I get like that though I just tell them to f*** off. Everyone besides Malcolm usually listens to me. He thinks just because he helped me I won't kill him. He's right but I will never tell him that. Plus there's a difference between killing and hurting someone. I finished eating quickly waiting for Malcolm to announce the fights. Usually I didn't bother with this since no one wants to fight against me. However Malcolm claims he has a Challenger for me. I asked him who it was but he refused to tell me. I guess I was just going to have to wait and see if he's worth my while. Malcolm must actually think he's worth something to let him fight me. He stops letting me fight anyone a while back. Everyone just ended up to her to move or sometimes even dead. He didn't want to keep paying for hospital bills. I guess I could see his point still didn't make me any less angry. I even told him I would pay the hospital bills myself but he still refused. I've been bored out my mind for weeks now. I wanted to actually do something actually hurt someone. Not only that but I needed to satisfy the bloodlust before I relapse and do it on myself. I haven't done it for more than 2 months. Mostly that's the thing to celebrate. Not on my part when I go through withdrawal my need for bloodshed increases. It once became so bad that I actually attacked someone. I'm thankful to say that only happened once because while I have bloodlust I don't want to attack people. Well unless it is in a Fighter's ring. Or I have a reason to do it. If it's neither of those things then I've lost control and I hate losing control. It makes me feel weak. I promised myself after I escaped from the past I would never be weak. So I stay away from anything that would make me weak. I watched as Malcolm walked up on stage grinning. He seemed overly happy today, which I didn't trust. "Hello everyone, as you know I'm about to announce the fights lineup. Before I do though I would like to announce a special guest. The Prez of the Devils Soul MC Beast is here and he is going to fight our Beauty".