Grieving Soul

Chapter 8

Plan

Ang mayordoma ng aming tahanan inaasikaso ang pagkain ni Mommy. She was pouring wine on my mother's wine glass while my mother was still giving all of her attention to Silver who can't even lift a finger.

Tumikhim si Mommy at saka sumandal sa upuan. Itinaas niya ang kanyang kamay upang tumigil ang aming mayordoma sa pagsisilbi sa kanya. Bahagya itong yumuko bago unti-unting lumabas sa aming dining room.

"So... What's your name again?" My mother asked Silver as soon as she was properly seated across from Silver.

Tumuwid naman sa pagkakaupo si Silver at taas noong tiningnan si Mommy.

"Silverio Melendrez po," sagot ni Silver. "Pero Silver po ang palayaw ko. Iyon po ang tawag sa akin ng pamilya at mga kaibigan ko."

Mom nodded and tilted her head on one side.

"How about your parents?" she asked next. "What are their names?"

"Goldaña and Bernardo Melendrez."

"Hmm... I haven't heard their names here in our little province..." sabi ni Mommy at mukhang may gustong iparating sa kanyang sinabi. "Kung hindi mo mamasamain ay maaari ko bang malaman kung ano ang trabaho ng mga magulang mo?"

I bit my lower lip and tried to act normal by placing food on my plate. Nilagyan ko na rin ng iilang putahe ang plato ni Silver na hanggang ngayon ay wala pa ring kalaman-laman dahil hindi siya makakakilos sa pagmamasid na ginagawa sa kanya ni Mommy.

"Nasa pulitika po ang ama ko habang si mama po ay mayroong puwesto sa bayan na kainan," walang pag-aalinlangan na pagsagot ni Silver.

He even had a smile on his face, showing that he was very proud of his parents.

Nagtaas naman ng kilay si Mommy at mukhang naging interesado. "So, your father's into politics... Hmm..." Umaktong nag-iisip ng malalim si Mommy. "Our family friend, the Valientes and Buenviajes are into politics. Sa totoo nga ay tumatakbo ngayon bilang gobernador si Phillip Valiente II habang ang kapatid niya naman ay tatakbo bilang mayor. What about your father?"

"Kasalukuyang nagseserbisyo po ang tatay ko bilang isang kagawad sa barangay namin. Ngayon ay tumatakbo siya bilang kapitan," paglilinaw ni Silver. "Hindi po kaya ang ganoong kalawak na eleksyon dahil kulang sa budget. At aaminin ko rin pong mahirap na kalaban ang mga Valiente. Kuntento na rin po si Papa sa pagtakbo niya bilang kapitan sa aming barangay."

"Oh..." The disappointment on my mother's face was very visible.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Kuya Diego at mukhang napansin din ang hindi magandang reaksyon na ipinakita ni Mommy. Hinarap ako ni Kuya at bahagyang napaawang ang kanyang mga labi bago nakangiting tiningnan si Silver.

"I'm sure your father will be a great leader in your barangay," Kuya Diego tried to switch the atmosphere and lifted Silver's spirit up. "Kung kailangan ninyo ng tulong sa pangangampanya ay huwag kayong magdalawang-isip na lumapit sa amin. We're very much willing to help Iarra's friend and his family."

Lubos ang pasasalamat ko sa aking isipan dahil sa pagtulong ni Kuya Diego na mapagaan ang loob ni Silver.

"Oo nga, Silver. We can help," dagdag ko sa sinabi ni Kuya Diego at nakangiti siyang nilingon.

He looked at me with a genuine smile on his face. "Salamat pero wala na naman ng problema sa pangangampanya ni Papa, but your support is very much appreciated."

I can't help but to admire him and fall for him even more because of his kindness and positive attitude.

I wouldn't regret falling for someone like him who has a pure heart. He wasn't afraid to show who he really was. Even though they didn't have that much to show off, he was still very contented with what they had. His simplicity was mocking my mother's elegance and sophistication.

If the sky's the limit, my admiration for people who are not after material things or objective riches but can still feel contentment in life is beyond the skies.

Iyana ng dahilan kung bakit kami magkasundo ni Gio. His family's riches don't matter to him at all. If he was to choose, he's rather live a simple life like what I dreamed of having as well. Mas nagingibabaw ang kasimplehan niya na dahilan kung bakit madali siyang tingnan at hindi nakakasilaw gaya ng iba na sinusuot ang kayamanan.

We started eating when my brother proceeded on the next topic which was about school. He asked Silver about his course and as well as his future plans which were focusing on how he wanted to help his mom build the restaurant she was dreaming of. Pero ang inaabot niyang tagumpay ngayon ay ang makapagtapos ng pag-aaral.

Nagsisi akong nanaig nang ilang sandali ang katahimikan dahil mukhang kanina pa 'yon hinihintay ni Mommy upang makausap ulit si Silver.

"I just wanted to clear things out in my mind, Silver, if you don't mind," panimula ni Mommy pagkatapos punasan ang kanyang bibig ng table napkin.

Tumigil naman si Silver sa pagkain upang harapin si Mommy ng maayos.

"Wala pong problema..." sabi niya.

Mom slightly pursed her lips before speaking out her thoughts. "You're friends with my daughter, right?" Mom sounded like she needed an assurance that will bring peace to her mind. "Just friends?"

Kinuyom ko ang aking kamao habang hawak-hawak ang laylayan ng aking blusa. Kagat-kagat ko ng mariin ang aking ibabang labi. Gustong-gusto kong patigilin si Mommy sa pagsasalita.

I was wrong. I shouldn't have invited Silver to our house for dinner if I only knew that my mother would spat a lot of spiteful and overbearing words that could offend him and his family.

"Uhm... Opo," sagot ni Silver. "Magkaibigan lang po kaming dalawa."

Hindi pa nga ako tuluyang nakakalipad pataas ay parang pinutulan na ako ng pakpak para hindi na makalipad pa at mahulog lang din sa huli nang walang sumasalo.

Well, what do I expect?

Magkaibigan lang naman kaming dalawa ni Silver. Hindi niya naman ako nililigawan at lalong wala kaming relasyon na dalawa. He's just really kind and gentleman that I was constantly misinterpreting his words and actions.

"Salamat sa dinner," pasasalamat ni Silver nang ihatid ko siya sa labas ng mansyon.

I volunteered to drive him home but he refused. Sinubukan ko siyang pilitin ngunit nanaig ang desisyon niyang sumakay na lamang ng tricycle pauwi sa kanila.

"Ang sarap ng mga pagkain at nabusog ako," sabi niya sa akin.

I'm not an expert or what, but I can feel that he was just trying to sound like everything's fine with him and that he was happy to eat dinner with my family. Alam kong hindi naging maganda ang mga ibang salitang lumabas sa bibig ni Mommy kaya hindi niya na kailangang magkunwari na ayos lang ang lahat at hindi siya naapektuhan.

"I'm sorry..." paghingi ko nang paumanhin sa kanya.

He was slightly taken aback when I suddenly apologized.

"Alam kong may mga hindi magandang nasabi si Mommy," pag-amin ko. "Ako na ang humihingi ng tawad. My mom's just usually like that. Her looks and words can intimidate you more than you can ever imagine."

Unti-unti namang sumilay ang ngiti sa kanyang labi. "Hindi ko naman masyadong dinamdam ang sinabi ng mommy mo at naiintindihan ko kung saan siya nanggagaling," sabi niya. "At saka naging mabait sa akin ang Kuya Diego mo. Kung may pagkakataon nga ay gusto kong mas makilala pa siya. I feel that he's a good person."

Tumango naman ako bilang pagsang-ayon. "Mabait si Kuya Diego!" sabi ko. "Mahilig din siya maglaro ng basketball. Dati noong wala pa siya sa Manila ay naglalaro sila madalas ni Gio. You can play ball with him sometime."

"Hihintayin ko 'yan..." sabi niya na lang bago humakbang papalapit sa akin.

Umihip bigla ang malamig na simoy ng hangin kaya naman inayos ni Silver ang buhok kong sumabog sa aking mukha. Inipit niya sa likod ng aking tainga ang iilang hibla ng buhok bago muling ngumiti.

"Thank you for tonight," he sincerely said before taking a step back and letting out a deep exhale. "Uuwi na ako. See you at school?"

I nodded at him and smiled back. "Magtext ka sa'kin kapag nakauwi ka na."

Muli siyang ngumiti sa akin bago nagsimulang maglakad paalis at pinanood ko lamang siya hanggang sa tuluyan na siyang makalabas ng aming lupain.

"He already went home?" Kuya Diego asked me when I went back inside the house after sending Silver off.

Tumango ako at umupo sa tabi niya bago yumakap. "Thank you for helping me out earlier, Kuya."

He patted my back before combing my hair with his fingers. "I'm not insensitive," he said. "I know our mother had gone overboard with the way she spoke. It's the least thing I could do to make it somehow feel right."

"I know..." sabi ko at mas lalong sumiksik sa kanyang tagiliran. "That's why I'm glad and thankful."

"Why do I feel like this guy isn't just a friend to you, huh, Iarra?" Nahimigan ko ang panunuya sa boses ni Kuya Diego at bahagya siyang umayos sa pagkakaupo. "Is my little sister finally liking someone?"

Nag-angat naman ako ng tingin sa kanya habang nakakunot ang aking noo. "Kung pagsalitaan mo ako ay parang elementary o high school lang ako. I'm already a college student, Kuya, and I already turned eighteen for your information."

"Uhuh... I know that," he simply said. "But even though, you still have such a young heart since you've never liked someone romantically."

"Is that a bad thing?" I innocently asked him.

"Well... It's not because it could open your eyes more and help you experience things you haven't experienced yet," he answered. "But it also has a disadvantage. If that like turns to love then fails, it's gonna give you some kind of pain that you never imagined."

Napanguso naman ako at inisip nang mabuti ang sinabi ni Kuya sa akin. Bumuntong hininga na lamang siya at saka hinalikan ang aking ulo.

"I'm gonna rest now. You should too. May pasok ka pa bukas," sabi niya at tumayo na nang kalasin ko ang aking pagkakayakap sa kanya.

Tumango na lang ako sa kanya at ngumiti.

Ilang sandali pa akong nanatili sa aming tanggapan bago nagpasyang pumanhik na sa aking kwarto. Agad kong tiningnan ang aking cellphone na may natanggap na mensahe mula kay Silver na nakauwi na siya sa kanila.

I expected to receive a message from Gio but he didn't even reply to my message last night. It frustrates me because he's being too difficult.

Totoo na gusto ko siyang hayaan na makihalubilo sa iba pero hindi 'yong wala talaga kaming pansinan ang parang hindi kami matalik na magkaibigan. We should at least still text each other like what we usually do whenever we're not together.

Humugot ang ng malalim na paghinga bago nagsimulang magtipa ng mensahe para sa kanya pero kalaunan ay binura ko lang din 'yon at tinago ang aking cellphone sa ilalim ng unan upang hindi ko na maisipan pang padalhan siya ng mensahe. Nararamdaman kong hindi rin naman siya magrereply kaya bakit susubukan ko pa?

But what if this goes on forever?

Agad akong napailing sa sarili kong pag-iisip. Maybe I should ask help from his cousins. I have Emma's phone number as well as Orion's. But I wouldn't ask help from Orion since I know he tells everything to Gio.

Ngumuso ako at nagtipa ng mensahe para kay Emma.

To: Emma

Hi, Emma! Good evening.

I'm not that close to Emma. We're casual and we seldom see each other. Nakikita ko lang siya kapag mayroong kainan sa bahay nina Gio o kapag sinasama ako nito sa pagtitipon ng mga Valiente.

Nagshower muna ako matapos kong magpadala ng mensahe kay Emma. I was very hopeful that she'd reply to my message. She's my only chance as of now. I trust her more than I can trust Orion. And I'm not acquainted with his other cousins who are within our age bracket.

Nang makita kong nagreply si Emma sa aking text sa kanya ay nabuhayan ako ng pag-asa kaya naman agad akong sumagot sa kanya.

To: Emma

I badly need your help, Emma. I hope you can do me a favor.

Hindi rin naman nagtagal ay muling nagreply sa akin si Emma namukhang kuryoso sa aking gustong ipagawa sa kanya.

From: Emma

What is it, Ate Iarra? Basta ba kaya kong gawin ay walang problema.

Mabuti na lang at madaling pakiusapan si Emma.

To: Emma

Can we meet tomorrow? I can fetch you in your school after classes. I'll also need you to think of a plan before actually executing it. But please don't tell Gio that I'm reaching out to you.

Hindi naman ako binigo ni Emma nang pumayag siya sa aking gustong mangyari at sinabi niya rin sa akin kung anong oras ang kanyang uwian.