Words That Can't Be Written

Chapter 21

Maaga akong pumasok para i-take lahat ng exam ko for this month at Italy, I need to pass all the exam in order to proceed to take my early board exam, too. I can't fail this time. This is the most important thing in my life.

Halos isang buwan ko itong pinaghandaan.

Hindi ako makakapayag kung babagsak ako.

Masisira ang matagal ko ng pinaghandaan.

Marami ng pumasok sa room, napalingon ako ng pumasok din si Aiden ng magulo ang buhok at halata sa muka niyang may dinadala siyang problema. I didn't greet him, I didn't at him. When he looks in my direction, I look away.

Naramdaman ko ang paglapit niya sa tabi ko at naupo doon. May inilapag siyang pagkain at ibinigay iyon saakin. "Let's eat." He said.

"I already eat, you should be the one who needs to eat, it's not your priority to be here in psychology, you should go to law department." I told him in a matter of fact.

He can't give up his dream.

He can't fail.

"I'll eat with you before I go there."

Hindi ko na siya inimikan at nauna ng umalis ng room. Wala kaming teacher, but we need to review for the exam. They give us time to compile for our activities so we can focus on reviewing.

Pumunta akonsa library oara kumuha ng mga review na related sa exam. I didn't bother to look at my back. I step backward when he holds my arms.

"What?" I hissed and left him at the corner, but still, he's following me.

"Let's talk."

"Mag-uusap lang tayo kapag naipasa mo ang exam mo, You need to take the exam you missed because of me. I can't be the reason to lose your dream, Aiden! Wala akong kaalam-alam sa plano mo, kaya pwede ba kahit ito manlang ibigay mo na saakin! Makinig ka naman! You can't lose your dream because of me!"

Masyadong napalakas ang boses ko kaya naman nagmadali na din akong lumabas ng library para hindi makaistorbo.

I left him there.

I didn't know what would happen to us.

We just need to focus on our own this time.

Puro chat at paalala ang natatanggap ko sa kanya. Papalampasin ko lang ang buwan na ito, aayusin ko ito. Babalik ako, aayusin namin ito.

Our class ended maaga akong umuwi para hindi ako mahuli sa flight. Nasa airport na ako bago ko siya tinawagan. Wala pang ilang 'ring' ay agad niya itong sinagot.

Humugot ako ng malalim bago ko sya kinamusta.

"I'm good, nagrereview ako ngayon gaya ng gusto mo. I'll do my best, after this can I have months to be with you?"

Ramdam ko sa boses niya ang pagsusumamo na ibigay ko ang hiniling nya. Kahit hindi nya iyon gawin, ibibigay ko dahil mahal ko sya. I hold my phone tightly and control my tears from falling.

"We're okay, right?"

"Oo, okey tayo, aayusin natin ito pagbalik ko." Iyon na lamang ang nasabi ko.

Napuno kaminng katahimikan. I know he is puzzled sa sinabi ko. I can't explain it to him without crying. I'm going to miss him.

"Calling all the attention of the passenger, flight 901278 to Italy, please proceed to lane 5, I repeat.."

Ibaba ko na sana ang tawag ng bigla akong nakaramdam ng may nahulog na libro sa kabilang linya. Is he shocked?

"Where are you, Ashiana Riquel!" Madiin niyang sabi.

"I'm at the airport, babalik ako after a month, I promise, babawi ako sayo. I love you, Aiden."

Hindi sya umimik, rinig ko ang paghikbi niya kaya nagsimula na ding tumulo ang luha ko.

"Ano bang nangyayari saatin? Ashiana, can you enlighten me?" He plead.

"Kailangan kong mahanap si tita Ashkenazi, it is important to me, magtatagala ako, I'm planning to take my exam there, and my board exam."

"Kaya, ipasa mo ito ha, kahit ito lang. Babalik ako, sayo lang ako babalik. Mag-uusap tayo pagbalik ko,"

Agad niyang binaba ang tawag. I hold my breath and then proceed to exit the lane when someone calls my name. I saw Aiden rushing to my direction.

He hugged me. I didn't expect him to be here before I left. I think I can't leave now? "Why are you here? Paanong andito ka kaagad?" Naguguluhan kong tanong sa kanya. Hindi nya ako binitawan at umiyak pa sa balikat ko.

"Bakit kailangang magtagal ka? Kung kailan na hindi tayo okey? Why, Ashiana?"

"Nasabi ko naman sayo diba? I need to find tita Ashkenazi for my dad, we need to fix our family, babalik ako, babalik ako sayo, sayo lang ako babalik, Aiden." I kiss him on his lips before we separate our hug.

"Susunod ako sayo once I finished my exam this month, isa na lang iyon, hindi naman iyon makakaapekto kung papaasa ako o hindi. Ashiana waut me okey?"

Tumango ako sa kanya bago muli sya yinakap ng mahigpit. I know to myself that I can't leave this man in front of me. I'm so much invested to this relationships and I can't just let go. I love him in all my life.

Nagpaalam na ako sa kanya ng mag last call na ang flight ko. I believe in him. I trust him. We can surpass this problem together. This is just starting to have a strong foundation of love.

I rest for 6 hours flight. Masyadong matagal at para bang gusto ko na lang ulit bumalik sa Pilipinas, but I can't. I am here now.

I sigh, and I don't know what, how, and when will I start searching for her when I also have other commitments. This is the first time I will be away from my family, and I can't think of staying for any longer.

I fixed my condo and shop for my groceries. Bukas na bukas din ay pupunta ako sa mga kilalang hospital para mag apply as intern that will be good for my credentials and will help me a lot for up-coming exams.

I hope it will be better and become successful.

It will be worth it.