For You

Stuck in Silence

My mind is wandering places it shouldn't be .

The truth shook me up to the core. I couldn't control my emotions which was taking an image on my face . I dash out of the balcony and sit in one side of the ball room trying to calm myself down .

The room was dimmed and everyone was passionately dancing including Alex. I weep while no one notices since it's dark in my corner . The second I raise my head my eyes meets his . He is wearing a formal attire blending himself within the crowd. He is standing at the door searching .

Why was he here ? To see me broken ?

He walks towards me wearing a silly grin as he sees me . I stand up heavy-hearted wiping tears instantly off my face. Shifting closer, he realizes my desolation. His smile wears off as he keyed up. He faces me nervously asking , "Why are you crying, El?" Did he hurt you again?" He had a rough tone . He tried to come closer while I push him hard and he leans back fearfully .

"She's pregnant ?" I say with a husky voice . His head was suddenly down like he wasn't able to meet my eyes .

Eyes that are now deprived of hopes.

That's the time , Blake enters .

"Dude , you didn't tell her ? I thought you guys were best friends ."

Blake knew that me and Dave were always really close . Before Dave dated Abby, I was dating Blake . Blake was always anxious about mine and Dave's friendship . He always told me that things might happen between me and my best friend . I thought he was crazy. Now, I believe I am crazy .

Watching Blake smiling at our misery Dave roars taking the attention of everyone in the room , "Its none your business , asshole! "

Alex runs to us trying to stop the fight . But, it was too late.

Dave wallops Blake's face breaking his nose . He fell down posthaste . Alex takes Dave away while I help Blake to rise up .

"You don't deserve that guy , Ellie, " Blake says as I bring him a pack of ice for his relief . I sit down beside him looking at him stopping his nose from bleeding with a handkerchief of mine . I don't say anything while I try to put it on his nose without permission . He stops my hand reaching while I look down breathing slowly. He was applying it and he says a line which messed me up hard specially in this situation .

"Come back to me Ellie . I promise you , this time I won't let you go."

I don't say anything other than looking aside . He was slurring all of his words.

"I tried to stop you that day too. But you know how I am . I didn't hurt you intentionally. "

It is true . He was drunk and he didn't know what he was doing . My fault is that I didn't know he was drinking that night and I should have waited till the morning to say everything .

But I couldn't wait . Because, I promised Dave today it will be over and today I will be free .

"I didn't break up with you Blake just for that particular day.'' I begin.

''Just because you tried to hurt me . I broke up with you because when I was with you I didn't feel like myself . You forced me to become this new person. You were telling me not to go out with people who mattered to me. You didn't like the real me . "

Blake was stunned by my answer . I never gave him a real explanation. Maybe that's why he thought it was just for that single day . While for me, it was everyday I was with him .

I get up walking outside of the mansion not looking back.

It was cold and I was freezing . Alex comes to me handing me his coat . " Is Dave still here ? " I ask nervously.

"No, he left. " he replies .

Alex drives me home and the whole ride I was sobbing like a weak person. The kinda weak I never thought I would turn into. Alex didn't say anything because he knows I hate to talk when I am upset. He stole a few glances at me to check when I will stop. But I don't. Not til I reached home.

It was a big truth for me to hold on. Abigail can't be pregnant . All this time I hoped that someday Dave will come back to me leaving his past behind. But now , I don't think there's gonna be that day anymore.

I reach home by 10:30 pm . I use the keys before even banging the door. I rush to my room and mom and dad runs to the stairs startled seeing me escaping like that . I lock my door leaning on it crying my eyes out. The mascara was ruined and I slowly slide down letting myself fall on the floor . The truth was choking me to death . I don't have 'hopes' anymore .

Dave doesn't call me but Alex texts me a couple of times to check in . Right now , I feel like the only friend who's been by my side in this whole Dave situation is Alex .

The night was passed and I couldn't rest my eyes a bit .

In the morning, dad knocks my door and surprisingly I was capable to open it.

"Are you coming down for breakfast?" I nod and without changing I reach down in my pjs . The moment I enter the living room I see him waiting for me at the table . Mom was serving pancakes while Dad was talking to him entering the room with me. I was surprised to see someone like him here for me.

"What are you doing here ?" I ask barely keeping my eyes open . Blake stands up with concern watching me getting dizzy.

"I came to see if you are okay, " He tells being aware of my situation.

I don't know why mom and dad invited him . Probably, because they don't know what happened . I just told them Blake wasn't right for me . I couldn't tell them what Blake did . I am not brave enough to share my scarred history. I sit down pouring myself a glass of water . The rest of the minutes I eat breakfast with him like nothing ever happened .

After breakfast, I ask him to leave standing separately in the corner of the room .

"I think you should leave now," I say politely.

"But , I wanna be with you. I want another chance Ellie. I promise, I will fight for us this time. " He begs.

Mom and dad were looking at us and I didn't want them to guess what was happening . Therefore, I take Blake upstairs in my room to talk privately .

"I don't get it Blake . You ignored me for a whole year and now you wanna get back? Is this some kind of joke to you ?"

I was furious , hurt and so many things . But, despite of all this he still managed to win me .

"I tried to ignore you. I always saw you running away from me , talking to Dave while making eye contacts with me at lunch . I thought maybe you didn't want me . "

"Maybe I don't." I reply stiffly .

"No it's not true . I thought maybe we don't have a chance because Dave was better at making you happy . So, I did try to ignore you. But when last night I saw you crying for that guy I knew I still had my chance . Because, why would you be with someone who has a girlfriend carrying his baby?"

He knew exactly what point breaks me down. He knew why I was so sad. He knew what's the most important thing for me in a relationship and thus he brings it up to weaken me once again.

I was speechless and yet again I break . Tears were automatically rolling down my cheeks no matter how hard I tried to hold them back . Steadily, he keeps my head on his shoulder letting me cry on it and I don't refuse . Blake showed up in a time of my life where I was confused of what to do . My mind wasn't ready to take a decision . It was paused within the moments . I was stuck in the silence .