For You

Unsafe behavior

I walk to the living room as slow as possible . I know Alex is going to be mad at me because he believed Abigail was wrong . Somehow, he thinks it's not my fault . Not my fault that I am secretly in love with my best friend. But honestly , it kind of is. I mean, I let this happen . I let it turn into something I always desired . I could have stopped it . I should have tried to bottle my feelings.

After they shared their one-armed hug, Alex exchanges looks with me.

"So...?"

Alex waits for my answer while I am staring into Dave's eyes .

"He came to talk to me . We were just talking."

Alex smiles leaving that serious look on his face as he jumps to sit on the couch comfortably .

"I see...you are guys are just talking, " he puts it mildly. I was relaxed to see his reaction . I stand beside Dave while Alex says again , "Guys, why are you always so worried ? It doesn't matter to me if you just talked." He winked at me adding , "Or even if you didn't." I try to speak ,

"No , we just talked."

"Okay ...but why are you justifying this to me?"

For a moment we were both confused.

"I know you both got feelings for each other . I mean, I never missed those lovely stares at lunch , " he said grinning .

"So , you guys might as well accept it."

Dave and I was indeed accepting it for a long time . But it was weird to see Alex so chilled out about it . Since, the others in the group were quite the opposite.

"And you are okay with this?" I hesitate asking.

"Why won't I be ? Two of my closest friends getting together."

He turns to Dave , "Seriously, when are you breaking up with Abby? "

"I thought she was your friend."

Dave finally opens his mouth . Alex had lost his smile for a minute.

"Yeah....she is and I do care about her . But, there's no love between you two right . So , what's the point of hurting her?"

I turn to look at Dave desperately waiting to hear his answer. Because, that's something I want to know too .

Dave was mute for a second and I try to change the conversation. I didn't want to make it to more difficult for him .

"Why are you here Alex?"

Alex turns to me answering ,

"Yeah , about that .."

I sit beside him asking, "Is it about that ECN ?" I say in code words . Dave doesn't know the actual name of the ball. Since, he never bothered to know . There's a reason I don't want him to know . He can be really protective of me so I try to hide the fact that I am planning to meet my ex .

"Yeah..I bought something for you."

"What!..why?"

That was my reflex screaming back.

"Technically my mum bought it . Look , she gives a dress to Abby every year since she goes to the ball with me well...every year . "

I give him a stare the moment he says 'ball' .

"You are going to the Rust ball?"Dave yells.

The Rust ball they could have called it that. I am inadequately preparing in my brain how to smother Alex.

"Yeah..so?" I reply normally.

There's no point to lie about this to Dave . He will know eventually and he will try to argue with me .

"What do you mean so? You can't go . "

"Are you ordering me?" I say getting up while Alex is probably scared seeing us quarreling .

"Yes I am."

"You don't have the right to order me . "

Actually he does. He knows what are the best decisions. And a meeting with Blake isn't definitely a good one. I missed arguing with him . I like watching him being protective of me.

"As a matter of fact I do."

"How?"

"Because I am your....friend." he says stammering a bit . I giggle grimly mocking ,

"Friend huh? Are we really just friends, Dave?"

That was the time Alex came to stop us . The perfect moment where I could have gotten the answer I always sleeked. But no , Alex wanted to stop it just at the second .

"Guys seriously ?"

He stood up stepping in , pushing me and Dave away. Because, it looked like we were about to scratch each others faces away .

"I can do whatever I want." I talk slowly .

Dave comes up to me holding my shoulders gently , "Come on El . You can't go there alone . You know he will be there and I won't let you go near that bastard. "

I step back as I reply with an air of confidence , "I am not alone Dave and I can take care of myself."

I can't take care of myself. Not always . Sometimes I do stupid things and its unhealthy for me .

"I think you should leave. " I say politely yet sadly .

"Gladly" he replies as he reaches to the couch to take his coat where I take a final look of him reminding myself that I hope I am not making the wrong decision. He leaves for the door and on his way he turns back to add , "You know , I was just protecting you . But, clearly you don't want that ." He says walking out of the main door slamming.

I am not a mere soul. I have ignored enough problems in my life and I have learned ignoring isn't the best option . It's the worst. Because, it makes the problem more bigger , more stronger. So, I am ready to take some solid actions and good decisions.

After Dave leaves, I tell Alex why I wanted to go there in the first place .

"Do you think it's the right decision?"

I nod my head replying assertively.

"But, you do know that you are gonna mess up a lot of things for him. "

"No...I won't. I think it will rather help him realize everything. I mean, he can't tell me himself but that doesn't mean I can't investigate myself . "

I don't know why but I was scared to find out the truth. It was heartbreaking for me to go behind Dave . Whenever we had sharing problems before, we used to wait for each other to be comfortable to talk about it and time didn't matter , feelings did. But this time, I won't wait for time . This time I am curious to know everything , everything stored for me .