Holding On

Chapter 5

*Nick*

Seeing Alli and Matthew together had been painful for me. Dying had not changed my love for her. It had only intensified by the desperate longing I had to be with her again.

On the other hand knowing that Matthew would take care of both her and our children left me in peace. They would be okay. He would make sure of it.

He loved her, and I knew he would love the kids too. He had make the right choice by talking her to stay with him.

I had not expected Alli to be as closed off to him as she was. Her sense of loyalty to me left me warm inside.

I hated seeing her in so much pain. She was so beautiful, but she was so lost in grief that she no longer had that glow to her. I wanted to reach out to her and pull her into my arms and tell her that everything would be okay. Tell her It was okay to be happy again.

I stood in the corner and watched her rest her head on Matthew's shoulder and I knew by the look on her face that she felt better being near him. My heart hurt seeing it, but the reality was that I was gone from this world. She needed to move on.

*Sophia*

Who the hell did that crazy girl think that she was? I was furious and wanted nothing more than to go back and teach her a lesson. I hated that I had lost my cool but the thought of that girl being in the house with him was too much for me. I had not thought things threw and I had just reacted.

Now I had to think of a way to make things better. I was going to have to go and apologize. The thought of that had me fuming but if I wanted to get into Matthew's good graces I knew that I had to do it.

All I had to do was be patient and then I would get rid of his so-called mate. I didn't care she was Alpha of a pack. She was in my way and one way or another she had to go.

*Macy*

My blood was boiling and the need to kill something was strong. I paced around in my wolf form trying to calm myself enough to shift back. That woman was lucky that Alli had asked me not to hurt her. I had wanted nothing more than to rip her throat out. I was seeing red and I was out for blood.  No one disrespected or messed with Alli and got away with it. I let it go this time, but this was nowhere near over. Her days were counted she just didn't know it yet.

Alli needed to be with Matthew right now and I was not about to let that b***h mess it up for her. I guess I was going to have to make her disappear. She messed with the wrong one when she dared talking to my friend and Alpha like that. It was going to be fun thinking of all the ways to get rid of her.

*Alli*

I felt so safe and calm as Matthew carried me up the stairs and into a room. He put me down on the bed and sat in a chair across the room.

“I know that this is hard for you. I just really need you to please give me a chance. I know that Nick has not been gone long and despite what you think I don't want to replace him. I understand that you loved him. “

“I still love him,” I corrected cutting whatever he was going to say short.

“Okay,” he said meeting my eyes not attempting to argue with me.

“All I’m asking is for you to try to open yourself up to loving me too." He said standing up.

"No one is going to love you more then I will. Despite your denials you know that it’s true. I would do anything for you. I would give up everything for you. I know that I made a mistake with you the first time around but never again. I have had five years to think about what I did. I should have never let you go. All I can do now is prove to you how much you mean to me. Please, just consider giving me a chance." He pleaded.

“I’m not ready to let him go. I can’t.” My eyes filling with tears.

He closed the space between us and knelt down in front of me. His took his thumb and wiped the tears from my eyes.

“I would never make you do anything that you’re not ready for Alli. You know, that right? “

Did I?

“Let’s just drop this subject for now. We have plenty of time to talk about the future. Let me show you around.” He said a smile of his face.

"This room has two connecting doors one to the baby room and the other to mine. Before you protest I will never come through that door without your permission but if you ever need me it's unlocked you can always come to me." He said showing me where the doors were.

There were so many things running threw my head so many emotions that I needed to work out. I just needed to lay down for a bit.

"Mommy,” Alex said running into the room with Macy behind him.

"Hey baby, have you seen your room yet?”

“Yup, I love it it's right across the hall from Isabelle.” He grinned happy.

"Are you okay with being here?"

 He nodded his head yes and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“I like Matthew mommy, he's nice." He said running to his room.

"Well I guess the verdict is in you’re the only one that hates being here." Macy said her hands on her hips.

"Where did Matt put you?” I asked curious.

“Next to Isabelle."

"Thanks for being there for me Macy. I don't know what I would do without you. Your friendship means the world to me."

"I know that I'm hard to deal with right now. I haven't been the best mom lately, but you have been there to pick up the pieces while I've been falling apart. I'll never forget your loyalty to me and Alex. " I said pulling her into a big hug.

"Alli you know I will always be there for you when you need me and not because you’re my Alpha but because you’re my sister. Maybe not by blood but in every way that matters. Promise me that you will keep an open mind when it comes to Matthew. He's going to help you heal Alli, when you need him go to him and let him give you the peace that you need. He was made just for you just give him a chance." She said pulling away.

"I'm scared that I'll love him more than I did Nick." I said voicing my biggest fear.

"What you felt for Nick is totally different then what you will feel for Matthew. You can't compare the two. What you felt for Nick, Alli was true love. You chose to love him and no one not even Matthew can ever take all those memories that Nick left you with." She said trying to reassure me.

"Alex and Ari are testaments of that love. He will never really be gone he will always live in your kids. Alli just take a chance and just close your eyes and jump."

"Don't let the loss of Nick keep you from loving Matthew. He loves you, and I'm willing to bet my life that he will never let you go now that he has you here." She said leaving me alone in my room.

Maybe she was right, and I just had to let my heart lead me and quit worrying about what Nick would think. He would want me to be happy I just know it. It was just so hard for me to let him go.