Conflicted Love

Consequences

Felix ripped Jasper away from me, throwing him to the floor. Landing hard on his back, the air was knocked out of him for a moment. Felix looked me over, then turned aggressively back to Jasper, who was also angry.

Their anger built for a second and then, in unison once again, they phased into their wolf forms as shreds of their clothes fluttered to the ground. They now took up pretty much all of the spare space in the building, growling at each other and snapping their jaws. Jasper was on the back foot, as he was on his back when they phased and Felix bore down on him with no mercy.

"Felix, stop!" I found myself shouting, "It's not what you think! I... I already kissed him."

The black wolf turned his piercing blue eyes to me and made a painfully sad whine, bursting out of the door and vanishing into the distance. My heart broke for him. The reality of what I had done washed over me in waves of shame and guilt. The light brown wolf with shockingly dark eyes stood to his feet and nudge my hand with his head, as my father and older brother appeared in the doorway, attracted by the noise.

"Erin! What on earth is going on here?" demanded my father. The wolf stepped between us defensively, but the Alpha paid little notice. He sighed, "You have some explaining to do, lady. We were so worried about where you'd gone," he paused, taking my ruffled hair and smudged lipstick, "And now we find you doing heaven knows what!" he spat, turning his back on me abruptly and marching back towards the house. Elijah took one judgemental look at me and followed suit.

Mother pushed her way into the building and threw her arms around me, "Don't you ever do that to me again!" she breathed heavily. I patted her arm impatiently, then pushed her to arm's length to look her in the eye.

"At least you actually care about me and not just about appearances," I muttered darkly. The light brown wolf nudged my hand again. I looked at him, "You had better phase back, Jasper. I suspect my father will have some choice words for the both of us. Where prying ears can't listen in, of course," I added spitefully. Mother flinched. She had never seen me angry with my father like this. Up until today, he'd never given me reason to be.

~*~

Back at the house, Jasper stood by my side with a tense air about him. He wore nothing but a robe. We shred our clothes when we phase, but the Alpha house is always well-stocked with spare robes to preserve the modesty of returning wolves. Mother sat in an armchair, beside herself with worry. Lacey and Logan had been swept away upstairs by Freya, who was keeping them occupied. Elijah paced back and forth across the ornate fireplace that was built into one wall of the sitting room. Father was nowhere to be seen, though no one was certain why; the guests had all made their awkward departures some time ago.

He entered the room abruptly, followed by Lucien. Uncle Luc, we called him as kids. Father looked angrier than I had ever seen him. I wanted to be upset by this, but if I was honest with myself, his temper just increased my own. Jasper placed a hand on my shoulder in support and that finally triggered a verbal response from my father.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he glared first at Jasper, then at myself. Not waiting for an answer, he blustered on, "Not only were you caught in a compromising position, but after that... that... debacle, in front of the entire pack!" He paused for breath.

I took my chance, "It wasn't planned, father. I escaped for some peace whilst you were all busy bickering and Jasper found me. Turns out we have quite the connection, much as I tried to deny it and come home. It was a moment of weakness. Felix found us just before we were going to return to the house and took exception to what he saw-"

"Took exception?" father exclaimed, "TOOK EXCEPTION? This man, this... fiend was forcing himself upon you, by all accounts!"

Jasper stepped forward, but I spoke over him, "It wasn't like that, father. We'd already kissed. He was just... eager for another before I made us come back and face the music."

"So, what are you saying? Have you chosen Jasper as your mate?"

"No," I sighed, "That's why I told Jasper we had to come back. When you asked me to look at them earlier, I felt equally for them both. Choosing one based on the fact that he found me first hardly seems fair. Neither does being treated with such animosity for having a ... a moment... with someone I share the mate connection with... someone who actually seems to care about my feelings, rather than just appearances!" I was livid and slightly out of breath by the time I'd finished my tirade. Father actually looked taken aback. I could sense Jasper's smirk without even looking at him and I had to suppress a smile.

Father paused for a minute, rubbing his temples with his fingers in aggravation. He paced up and down a couple of times, looked at me as though he was about to speak, then paced a couple more times. Elijah's stunned gaze followed father up and down the room as though watching a tennis match, while mother tensely wrung her hands.

"What do you propose then, Erin?" Father finally stopped pacing and turned the tables on me, "You appear to suddenly be all wise and just, since coming of age this morning. You tell me how we should deal with this."

I blinked for a second. I realised what he was doing, but the truth was that I didn't have the answers. My father's reaction seemed unfair, magnified by all the new, intense feelings I was dealing with, but I didn't know what the right course of action was. Feeling foolish, I knew I had to come up with something.

"I will spend time with both of them," Jasper tensed by my side as the words passed my lips, but he said nothing. Gaining confidence, I nodded gently at my own words, "I will take some time with each of them, get to know both of them better, and see what happens. Perhaps once I know more about them, the right choice will become clear."

Father looked pleasantly surprised at my suggestion and Elijah looked on in the background, equally approving. Mother looked almost faint with relief. Jasper had barely breathed, let alone moved.

"Jasper," I turned to him. He seemed to be having an internal struggle with himself, "Please respect my decision."

He closed his eyes for a second, "I respect it. Doesn't mean I have to like it," and with that, he was gone. Out of the front door and off in a flash of light brown fur, his robe discarded on the floor.

I looked to Elijah, "Brother, please will you speak to someone who can tell Felix that I wish to see him?"

"That's going to be a tad difficult, sister. No one has been able to find him since he took off from you earlier."

A distant wolf howl was all that punctuated the silence.