When I Stopped Loving You

Three, two.. one…and the clock ticked again, the long hand slid into place, clicking against the twelve.The sound was soft,landing on my chest like a warning…and I didn't need to look to know what time it was. Jacob stood up to wear his clothes while I sat up on the bed, resting on the footboard, staring at him as he wore his shirt, backing me as though I wasn't in the room… as though I was a sin he was ashamed of. It was exactly five.a.m. on the dot…and he, well, he was right on schedule. His movements were quiet and practiced,like he rehearsed this routine too many times to count. I just sat there, watching him.. Just the way I do every morning. This routine has been on repeat for the past six months. Six months of passionfilled nights and lonely mornings. Alpha Jacob would climb into my bed the moment the clouds swallowed the moon and disappear before the sun dared to rise. I pulled the fur blanket tighter around my chest. Thick and heavy, it was the only thing grounding me right now, the only shield between my racing heart and the storm of thoughts threatening to consume me. The texture reminded me of simpler times—the moments I could call mine, when laughter filled the air and joy was effortless. But that world felt impossibly distant now. The air around me was too toxic for a flower to bloom, too sharp for comfort to last. My mind wouldn’t stop spinning. Every thought weighed me down like stones in my chest, each one carrying the same burning fear. Loving Jacob already felt like carrying a cross I wasn’t sure I could bear alone, yet it was impossible to stop the ache, impossible to stop the pull he had on me. And still, before I could think twice, the words slipped out, raw and trembling. “Do you really have to leave now?” My voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper, and yet it carried the weight of everything I was too afraid to say. “Why don’t you spend a few more hours with me before you go… you can sneak out through the back into the woods later. No one will see you… it will be like the old times.” I squeezed the blanket tighter, as if holding it could somehow keep him here, could keep the moment from slipping through my fingers. My heart thumped violently, echoing in my ears, and I felt every second stretch into an eternity. The room felt impossibly still, heavy with unspoken words, with longing that was dangerous to admit. Even as I waited for his response, fear coiled in my stomach. The world outside our little bubble didn’t care about my wishes, my feelings, or the fragile hope I was clinging to. And yet, in that moment, I couldn’t help it. I wanted him to stay, even if only for a few more stolen hours, even if the universe made it impossible. Slowly,he turned around … his ocean blue eyes locked onto ime, piercing like they always were whenever he was ready to make love to me. He stood there staring at me for a long time with his hands locked away in his pockets. Not this again.. Sarah, we already spoke about it… things are different now, and you know why… I have responsibilities now.. So please stop bringing this up every morning… try to understand” he said , putting on his wristwatch… unaware of the fact that for the past six months my name has literally been changed to understand. “Understand? Does it also apply to you?” I pushed, my chest tightening, “it’s been six months.” I have never been one to talk back to Jacob because I loved him and respected him but I think…. It's mostly because I feared him. It's been six months of hiding, pretending, waiting, understanding and being treated as a second option. “Can… Can you please stop treating me like a second option?” My voice trembled, sharper than I expected. “You say I’m your mate, but you act as if I’m just another conquest!” The words flew out before I could think. I froze instantly, covering my mouth with my hand, a rush of shock burning through me. Jacob’s eyes darkened, and I knew, just from that glance, that he hadn’t expected it either. He stepped closer, slow and deliberate, removing his jacket and letting it fall to the floor. His presence filled the room, magnetic and overwhelming. I felt drawn to him, a pull I couldn’t explain, a dangerous closeness that both terrified and thrilled me. Jacob reached for my hands, holding them gently but firmly, his gaze locking onto mine. “Do you really mean that?” His voice was low, edged with a sharp intensity that made my chest tighten. I wanted to explain, to tell him I didn’t mean to sound accusatory… but the truth was more complicated. Part of me had always feared confronting him, feared the power he had over me, the kind of power that could break me or change everything I thought I knew about my world. He stepped even closer, his presence undeniable. Even without touching me, he made the air around us feel electric, heavy with unspoken words. If he only knew the effect he had on me… part of me was sure he did, and part of me dreaded it. Because some truths, once spoken, can’t be taken back. And some connections, once realized, can’t be ignored.