Holding Hope
1346 Words
*Noah POV*
She forgave me? I nearly killed her, but she forgives me. How? How could she even want to look at me again? Is she really that good of a person?
When she teased about still being able to change my sheets and clean my toilets, I cracked a smile. No matter how hard I didn’t want to warm up to her, at that moment, I couldn’t help it.
Maybe Nick was right. Maybe I need to look at everything in a different way. Figure out how to not see her the same as Jon. She has always been a sweet person, and today, she proved to me that she still is.
“I don’t want you to clean my toilets, Hope. That’s not what I was getting at. I legitimately want you to get better, and I seriously feel badly about what happened. It won’t happen again, I can promise you that,” I said softly.
Her hand moved to my face, and this time I was the one who flinched. I wasn’t sure why she would want to touch me, I hurt her.
“Please, look at me, sir. I want you to look at me when I say what I’m about to say,” she whispered. The problem is, I didn’t know if I could. However, I forced myself to look at her.
When I lifted my head, and finally took a good look at her up close, I began to sob. I didn’t care who saw me, or what they thought, it broke my heart.
“Don’t cry. I think enough tears have been shed throughout this whole ordeal. Don’t you? I promise that as soon as I’m able, I’ll leave and be out of your sight,” she explained.
I didn’t want that. I wanted her to stay and accept us once everything was revealed.
“Nick and I have things to discuss where you are concerned, Hope. Once we are able to figure some things out, we will fill you in on the plan. Don’t think that leaving will solve everything,” I said.
She didn’t reply, and I was glad she didn’t, because the nurse came in carrying a tray, and our conversation wasn’t her business.
“I have some nice hot tomato soup, and pudding for you, my dear. Only soft foods and liquids until the jaw heals. Doc says it’s looking good, so maybe by the end of the week we can move on to pasta and mashed potatoes,” the nurse smiled.
I started to move so that she could sit down and help Hope eat, but instead, she placed the tray on a small table, and handed me the spoon.
“I have to finish my rounds, Alpha. Be sweet and help our patient get some food in her belly,” she smiled and patted me on the shoulder.
I turned to find Nick, because he would be better at this than me, but he was nowhere to be found. He had left earlier for the bathroom without me noticing.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’ll do it myself,” Hope said. I shook my head, and told her that I wanted to make sure she ate.
The soup was still hot, so I chose to start with the pudding. She was able to eat it, but the faces she was making told me that it hurt her to even move her jaws.
Her one milky white skin was not a blotched mess of black blue and purple from the bruises. Even then, she was still beautiful.
“Does it hurt? Do you want to try the soup?” I asked. She shook her head and said she wanted to finish the pudding. She didn’t want to waste food.
I slowly continued to feed her, and I found myself making small talk with her. I knew some things about her, like the fact that she was extremely smart. She was on several academic teams, including the debate team, and she was a gymnast. At least she used to be.
“If you could, would you go back to school?” I asked. She shook her head.
“No, sir. I couldn’t. Not now. People in this pack already hate me. I don’t know if online classes are available to me, so I think my time with school is done,” she replied.
Her pudding was gone, and I got the idea of an easier way to eat her soup. I went to the cabinets by the sink, and in one of the drawers there were some straws, I went back to her bedside, and put the straw in the soup, and held it as she drank from the bowl.
“That’s so much easier, and this is actually pretty good. Thanks for helping me, Noah, I mean, sir,” she said after the first drink.
“It’s alright, Hope. Noah is fine. We were friends once. You know, before,” I said.
She took another drink of her soup, and when Nick came back in, he stopped to stare and evaluate the scene before him.
“Good, you’re eating. That’s a good thing. I’m glad Noah was here to help you. Do you need anything else?” he asked.
Watching him struggle to find the words to say made me laugh. You would think that it was his first time around a girl with the way he was acting.
“I’m good. I’m starting to get tired though. Would you guys mind if I napped?” she asked.
“No. Not until your soup is gone, and you drink a little more water. Nick, could you go and get her another pitcher of ice water, please?” I asked.
Nick left to get her water, and I said one last thing that I needed to say before she went to sleep.
“Can I ask you a question? I want you to be completely honest with me too. Do you think that I’m a bad person? Like deep down. Do you think I can get through this?” I asked.
She tried to smile, but winced from the pain. “I do. I think that you need to take time to just grieve. From what I understand, you guys haven’t even given your dad a proper send off. Don’t you think you should do that? It might give you the closure you need,” she replied.
She was right. I haven’t grieved. However, little did she know, we burned dad’s body a few days ago. After everything that came out about him, Nick and I didn’t believe he deserved a proper celebrated send off. So, we did it in private, with only the two of us present.
Our step-mother left in the middle of the night the day after we spoke to her. She left everything but her clothes and jewelry. She even left all the cash in hers and dads account. The only explanation she gave was that it didn’t feel right being at the pack any longer. Nothing else.
She didn’t even answer our calls when we tried to contact her. This led us to believe that she had planned on disappearing before dad even died.
“Thanks, Hope. That means a lot,” I said softly and before I realized what I was doing, I had my arms around her hugging her. I was holding the one person I loved and hated the most. The only thing is, I don’t think I hate her as much as I keep telling myself.
When Nick came in, I asked him to make sure she drank a little more water, and then tell the nurses that she wanted to sleep. I thought that maybe they could give her something to help.
As soon as she was in good hands, I had to leave. I needed to get my head straight, and the best way to do that was to disappear into the woods and allow my wolf to run.
- Writer
