The Lost Luna

Since we are children, we are taught our history, our traditions, what awaits us, what we will be in the future. If you are the son of a gamma, you will be trained and raised to become another, just as it happens when you are a beta and an alpha. The son, the heir of an alpha, grew up to become an alpha, with more than one expectation. An alpha’s first son grew up to lead the pack, to lead it, to protect it, the alpha’s heir grew up to be someone important, as soon as he turned 14, he started attending meetings, He begins to learn what it means to be in charge, so that he can be ready when he is appointed alpha and all the members of the pack will swear loyalty to him, following him blindly, trusting him and the choice of the Moon Godess. Ever since we were kids, we’ve been taught how to behave when our wolf shows up, how to control the emotional imbalance that will surround us, how to control our strength, our power, how to control our first shift at the age of fifteen. They teach us to wait for our mate, our other half, that person who was created only and only for us, made for us, created by the Moon Goddess to love and respect us. They teach us that the bond between mates is something sacred that must be protected against all evil, against all dark forces and that gives us power, enough to make us immune to any attack. Every girl dreams of the day when she will meet her mate, as she will be loved by him, protected and venerated to generate a new life that will enrich and strengthen the pack. We girls are taught how to be a good wife, companion, mother and, in special cases and if you are lucky, how to be a good Luna. We meet our mate when we turn eighteen, our wolves connect on a biological level, our souls are united by an invisible and bright thread that guides us throughout our lives. Once we meet our partner, the bond pushes us towards each other and from which we cannot escape, unless we reject it, but even rejection has its rules. Everyone knows where they belong. Everyone knows what they are, who they are and what they will be. And then there’s me. At my eighteen years, I don’t know where I belong, I don’t know who I am, where I belong. I’m the alpha’s second child, his little princess, that’s how he calls me, even though I’m no one.  I have no wolf, no power, no mate, no role. I’m nothing, I’m useless. And I’m sure everyone thinks so, they’re just too scared to say it out loud, because I’m the alpha’s daughter. My father loves me above all, my brother also and so does my mother.  But no matter how much they love me, they can’t fill that hole I’ve been in since I was 15, they can’t fill that place that belongs to the wolf that I never had and will ever have. I cannot find my place within the pack’s territory, I can’t find my role. I can’t find a reason to live. I’m nobody and I’ll stay that way.