Somewhere, Between the lines

My Life

My name is Ava Nikolai. I'm an introverted girl. I do love to go out, but sometimes I'd love to be alone. I am not lonely, because music stays with me all the time.

I love to read, but most of the time I write poems that depict my day-to-day experiences. I wrote what I felt because, for me, writing something released my inner thoughts, feelings, and disappointments.

I used to hang out in a coffee shop, order my favorite cafe latte, and then once, when I am in my spot, I start to turn on my iPad, staring at people walking by, in and out of the coffee shop.

That is my daily routine after work or if I am on a day's rest. I mean that is my life content. I am content with what I am doing, I am happy with it.

Apart from that, I used to have a lot of friends, used to, but then passed, everything changed. We have different priorities in life and we take different paths to take, despite the differences we take. We somehow talked via social media such as f*******:. Even if we talk a lot or message a lot on f*******:, it's kind of odd. I mean, it's different when you see the people you are talking about because you can feel their emotions, you can see if they are sad, contented, happy or whatever it is--- their eyes are the mirrors of ourselves.

A year after my best friend Nicole See went abroad, I met a guy who was five years older than me, sitting at the spot where I used to sit.

It pissed me off seeing him sitting there when, in fact, there were a lot of vacant tables or spots to sit around.

Even though there was someone sitting at the spot that I loved so much, I decided to take out my coffee because it ruined my day seeing that guy.

I went home, I took my pen and my notebook where I used to write my poems. From there I begin to write, though I'm pissed off, I couldn't deny the fact that that guy is somehow giving me reasons to be attracted to him. I don't know why, but the impact that he gave was such a good impact-- an impressive one. I don't know him in the first place, but there is a feeling in me that makes me want to know him more and befriend him.

But the question is, how do I do that, Ms. Ava Nikolai, an introverted person, would have liked to initiate a conversation with someone that I saw once. What the f**k! Hell no"s! I am not some random girl who will just do that because she likes the guy or whatever it is. I am not the type of girl either to introduce myself first to this stranger who I barely know.

Anyways, I have to get back to my senses and wake up Ms. Ava Nikolai --- that is not who you think of. Take out those unimaginable thoughts because that ain't going to happen. Not to that guy, not to everyone's guy.

A week passed. I'd never seen this guy again. I was wondering what had happened because I know he is a regular at that coffee shop. Based on what the crew said, I went to ask them about him when I got pissed off on that day when he sat at my table. And I thought I had already forgotten him. I'd never seen him anymore, the least I thought of, but then he was nowhere to be found.

So from there, I thought he was just a passerby waiting for someone. Then, suddenly, when I was in the middle of writing my report, they approached me.

"Excuse me,", "Hi, would you mind if I sit here", said the guy.

When I tilted my head up I saw him, exactly the guy that I saw a week past. I was petrified. I don't know what I am going to say. I just nodded and did not say anything.

He sat beside me and struck a smile on me. Oh gosh, he smells so good. The perfume that he used is something that I like to have, even if it is for men. I mean, I don't have the intention of using it, but of course, I just like the smell of it.

Honestly, I got distracted by him, my focus was no longer on what I wrote, instead, I looked at his arm unnoticeably. I pretend that I am still writing something when I've already begun to scan his arms and the clothes he wore.

He got tattoos on his right arm. I couldn't figure out what it was because he pulled it off his long sleeve. I don't know if he has noticed me, but I guess not.

I couldn't contain myself sitting beside him. I got this odd feeling, I guess excitement-- because I saw him once again.

My heart beat fast and my hands were sweating, it was like I was catching my breath or gasping for air to breathe. I don't want to be in front of him. Not today, not in an hour.

I picked up my things, and hurriedly headed to the store door to get out.

I can stand him no more, it's like a sundae melting on its own even if you'd like it to stay as it is.

My phone rang instantly, I picked it up and answered it. "Hello!", I said.

"It's Sophia, this is my new number and please save it to your phone so that you will not answer me with a plain hello", Sophia said.

Sophia always gets irritated with me every time I answer her with a plain "hello" when she calls.

I know the fact that Sophia is not happy if you address her with just a simple hello or hi. She knew that I only teased her with that, she knew that I knew her voice. So it's no mistake, or shall we say impossible for me, to not know her in regards to her voice.

Sophia was my friend a long time ago. We've been together since we started our new job. I've been her confidante ever since, and vice versa too.

"Okay, I will save it, and why the hell are you changing your phone number again?, I asked her with doubt.

"I will just tell you tomorrow why, as of this moment, I got to go because I need to meet someone", said Sophia, hanging up the phone right away.

Before I had the chance to answer back, she hung up on me, there and then. And I was like, what the hell did she do to me? Like I wanted to get inside on the phone and get outside on the other side to snatch her hair. She's a total b***h ever.