Betrayed Love

It's my fault. I met him before I knew who he really was. For a long time , I was mad at him for dragging me into his mess.I blamed him countless times and countless times he was there to take the blame. But it was never his fault , he was never the one to blame , and it wasn't me who had been dragged into his mess, I dragged him into mine, and when I realised it...IT WAS TO LATE!I'm going to die and the man who did so much for me, the man who saved me countless times, the man i love is the one who will pull the trigger. There's no excuse for what I've done.I deserve whatever punishment he decides to bring to me and the only thing I can do is close my eyes and wait for his verdict.I should have done something, I had so many opportunities to stop this from happening.  But I didn't....Because I was to afraid of losing him.And now, I'm not only going to lose him but I'll also leave this world with so much to say, so much to explain, so much left to say that he will never know. I will die as a traitor, I will die and I will leave him behind in a mess and hurting .... and I deserve it. WHY, SARAH? Why did you betrayed  me? And after that sound echoing in my head, pain was the only thing I've left.  Until there was nothing...