The wolf in me

​Love is over rated.. Dancing in the wolves pack, I knew it well. I am Jax. Jax Fronts was once upon a time a name to recon in the business world. It was not long ago that .. I made it to covers of the magazines. I dined with beautiful people. I made buildings that was considered a marvel of engineering, modern engineering.. that combined modern and wild. Yet in my heart I was a traditional man. I saw the way my neurotic father bothered my mother. Yet she held true to him. She was forever faithful. In my mind that created an image of a spouse I wanted, a woman who would be with me forever, faithful, docile, kind. Well fate dealt me a tough blow there. I have left all connections to the modern life to dance with the wolves. They needed a voice, a human voice and I needed a purpose.. I needed a purpose after walking into the closet to find my wife with two of my drivers and one of their wives. I needed a purpose after I had to save my dog from her l**t. When I gave him to Dinesh, my childhood friend, he looked at Sab my Doverman and understood something and never asked why. I had noted that he never visited my house and always wanted to meet me alone only. There was not any question in my mind that my wife would have approached him too. With what .. I shiver to think. I needed a purpose to my life away from the toxic environment of physical want and l**t that no single or multiple man or woman could satisfy for my wife. After she cried and said she won't ever see a doctor and that she still loved me like when we first met in first standards, I threw my divorce paper into a drawer locked it and decided to take myself away from the environment. I always loved the forest. Each of my buildings had a floor or a roof dedicated to the wildness. Leaving was easy. When I left, people pitied her. An abandoned wife of a husband who had suddenly gone mad. I believe the paper also caught hold of the news. A perfect couple, a successful billionaire business man of a prominent family and his beautiful wife was no longer a couple as the man left his business empire to save wolves. I heard they even blamed the Guru I followed for leading me away from the marital life and putting eastern ideologies to sabotage the perfect marriage.. They did not know, my Guru had passed away years ago. I still followed him but it was the essence he left of doing one's duties and living a spiritual life. Ever misunderstood, me and wolves, found in each other a perfect combination. Today we dance as we defeated a greedy poacher. Tomorrow we may cry when they catch up with us. The shadowy trails of this ancient forest , hides many mystery but none more than the wolves I dance with. I never knew wolves dance till I joined their pack. In joy , in sorrow .. they dance. In love, well they mate. Simple life rules and that worked so well. They were not like the college going humans who waited by their mobile for a text from their apparent beloved or like me who even after knowing of my wife's disease believed for the longest time , she will conquer it, seek medical counsel etc. Attraction in the forest is simple, a chemical reaction, a test for strength. Ofcourse it is also for babies.. wolf babies. Mating was powerful, was bliss , was not love, was protection. Mates protected for life, even as petty forces like evil humans poached them. So enter me.. Jax to be their voice and savior. Well in truth they saved me. But it felt good to believe I had a purpose. Only one who looked at me in wolf skin but like a human was Jani. A human in love would look like this.. this was how my mother looked at my father , even when he went completely crazy. It was painful. This was new.. and is new . as she looked like no one has ever looked at me. I believed love was over rated. My wife Mala was my first love, only love. Even in separation , when I should hate her I could not. I have been tempted many times by many women and men too, but something in me had stopped me from being a women's man. Even my affairs, when Mala and I were not together , had a heart and I knew that was where I was wrong. The heartless won the world so today my heart was only towards the wolves and my mission to make their voices heard, their ancient magical forest saved. Everything else, including love was over rated. Yet Jani made me feel, even when she was maintaining her distance... Yes their pack's names, were often in J. This was once led by a leader named Jay. Jay left the human world to become a wolf. I wish had that capacity too. Jani was a young, pretty wolf.. with the soul of a lost kid. I could save her to eternity and hope someday.. I would be able to just look into her eyes without feeling like an old fool or like my wife who chased my doberman lustfully breaking my last belief in humanity. I wish I could shapeshift and I could become a wolf like the fated Jay who shred his skin to become a wolf and wore it back to fight infiltrators in his forest. Like Jay's mate Jayee , who could shapeshift to be an eagle and fly calling out enemy positions. Jaya could cast spell on all but she used her last resources to cast spell on the forest santum Santorum, which no living being could break. It was where Jay's tribe would always be safe. I want to find that back for the tribe today. It's leader , my friend in wolf skin Jabon was insistent, I am the one who could find it back for them. They lost it to a flood when afraid they left the place only to watch from a distance the water stop at its boundaries. Now the path to it , is hidden by the magical forest. Till such time I wrote articals, posted about them, to make the world care. Till I discovered their magical land, this mortal, defective human with a negative outlook to almost everything .. wanted to trust and believe that there was magic and I will also see it.