Mental Disorder Series 3: Sinful Touch

Chapter 15

Chapter 15 | ST

I felt that my whole world was shattered. My mind was blank and I couldn’t even focus on my work. Muling pagbabalik ko sa opisina ngayon pero wala ako sa sarili. Kinuyom ko ‘yung kamao ko at nanginginig ‘yung kalamnan ko sa inis at galit. 

I felt betrayed! Damn it. 

Sinabi ko kay Veronica na hindi siya ‘yun. Pero alam ko sa puso ko na si Bj nga ‘yun. Kaya sobrang ka taka-taka bakit hindi masyado naga-update sa akin. Kasi nung last time ay nasa akin ‘yung atensyon niya. Napapikit ako ng mariin at sumandal ako sa backrest ng swivel chair. I wanted to scream and punch the wall because of my anger. 

Ngayon ay kinuha ko ‘yung phone ko at tinawagan ko siya sa Facetime para kumirpahin ang nasa litrato. What if he finds another woman that is better than me? The woman who is willing to go home to the Philippines to get married? I felt my heart break into pieces. I felt betrayed for the first time. But I need to confirm it from him.

Namilog mata ko na sinagot naman ‘yun ni Bj. Pinatong niya ‘yung phone niya para makita ko siya. Nag-aahit siya ng balbas at ngumiti siya sa akin. Mukhang masaya siya na tinawagan ko siya. 

“Hi, babe. Did you miss me?” he began. May shaving cream ang nasa baba niya at tinuon niya na pokus niya sa pag-aahit. “What are you doing? I thought you’re working right now.”

I sighed heavily. “I want to ask you some questions and I want you to be honest with me.”

“What?” bigla siya napaayos ng tayo. Nilapag niya muna ‘yung pang-ahit sa sink at nakatukod ang dalawang kamay niya sa magkabilang parte ng sink. Nahihimigan niya ‘yung paos at seryoso sa boses ko. “Why? What happened?”

“Who was with you last night?” I probed.

He gulped then averted his gaze from me. “Uhm… she was my family friend. H-How did you know about that?”

“She, huh? Bakit wala kang sinasabi?” I scoffed. 

“I-I think you were b-busy…”

“How’s the kiss, huh?”

He shut his eyes. “Babe… I was drunk. Hindi ko alam paano mo nalaman siguro may naninira sa ating dalawa. I am loyal to you.”

“That is why I ask for a break up, right? You should’ve agreed so that you are free to f**k another woman!”

“Calm down, babe. I’m sorry. I can’t live without you.”

I laughed with no humor in my tone. “Let’s break up! Okay?! Marry that woman!”

Mabilis ko binaba ‘yung tawag namin. After that ay tinatadtad niya ako ng missing calls and messages. Oo nga naman, Kyla. Bakit niya nga ba sasabihin sa’yo na may iba siyang kasama na babae diba? Walang manloloko na aamin ‘no. Dahil diyan ay nagpaalam ako kay Miss La Farell na uuwi ako.

I reasoned that it is urgent. Kahit naman na pilitin ko magtrabaho ay wala ako sa sarili. Baka magkamali pa ako kapag pinagpatuloy ko lang. Nagtatanong si Zora kung ano raw nangyayari sa akin. Nababahidan ko sa kaniya ‘yung concern para sa akin. I was sad in the cab. I want to go home.

Lahat tinanggal ko na koneksyon namin ni Bj sa mga social medias ko. I even deleted his number and deleted my Facetime app. I don’t need it anymore. Huminga ako ng malalim at pakiramdam ko ay medyo ako nakahinga ng maluwag sa nangyari. I felt like a bird seeking freedom to fly everyday in the air. 

My heart was not hurt because I love him, I just felt betrayed. Hindi ko maintindihan ‘yung nararamdaman ko na ito. Galit ako kasi dapat nakipaghiwalay na lang siya sa akin nung nakaraan para free na. Nang makauwi ako sa pad ko ay mabilis ako nagpalapit ng comfortable sa akin. 

I slammed myself on the soft mattress. I immediately hugged my pillow so tight. Why am I not crying when we broke up? Why do I feel anger in my heart? Why do I feel that I am finally reaching for freedom? Bumuntong hininga ako at nilunod ko ‘ang ulo ko sa apat na throw pillows.

Mabilis ko kinuha ‘yung phone ko sa side table at tinext ko si Cadence. I suddenly miss him so badly and I want him beside me. I was chewing my lips while typing the letters to compose a message for him.

To: Cadence

Where are you? Samahan mo ako ngayon sa pad ko. I want you.

Nilapag ko muna saglit ‘yung phone ko at tinabunan ng mukha ko ng unan. Hanggang sa wala pang isang minuto ay narinig ko na ‘yung pagbeeped ng phone ko. I was very excited to check the notification from him.

From: Cadence

On my way. I brought you some ice cream. :)

To: Cadence

Thank you :(

Bumukas ‘yung pintuan sa kwarto ko at nakita ko siya. He was wearing a tight t-shirt that could trace his masculine body. Pinakita niya sa akin ang isang tub ng magnum. The moment he reached near me, I pulled him to me and hugged him so tight. I shut my eyes as I sniff his manly perfume. 

“I miss you,” he whispered. Kinagat ko ‘yung ibabang labi ko na marinig ko boses niya. “What happened? Kwento mo sa akin.”

“Do you remember Bj? He cheated on me,” I started. 

We parted ways from the hug. Nakita ko kung gaano dumilim ‘yung mukha niya sa sinabi ko. Magkasalubong ‘yung makapal niyang kilay. I gulped when I reached for his face and grazed it with my hand. 

“But I just felt betrayed. I offered him a break up but he refused but he opted to cheat on me. It makes no sense. That is why I felt betrayed,” I continued. Napanguso ako habang hinihimas ‘yung pisnge niya. “Now I’m free. Like a bird who will fly everywhere.”

“Are you sure you are okay?” he asked, his voice laced with concern. He licked his lips and my eyes drifted on his sinful lips that were moist from his saliva. “I will strangle him. Wala siyang karapatan lokohin ka!”

“Calm down. I think I was starting to move on from what he did to me when he started to not update me,” I responded. 

“That bastard will taste my knuckles.”

I chortled. “Chill! You’re so mad, like a mad beast in the forest!”

“How can I not be mad when he hurts my princess.”

Tumabi na kaming dalawa sa kama at tahimik akong kumakain ng ice cream. May mga times din na sinusubuan ko siya ng ice cream. We are watching a series called Peaky Blinders. Seryoso lang siya nakatingin sa pinapanood habang namamangha ako kay Tommy.

“He’s so cool! Plus, he’s handsome while holding a gun in his hand,” I commented.

He arched his eyebrow. “May hawak lang siya na baril hot na?”

“He’s hot and handsome! And his voice makes me weak.”

Mas lalo nag seryoso mukha niya habang nakahalukipkip ang braso sa dibdib. Kanina niya pa tinatrashtalk si Tommy kesyo na mas magaling daw sa kaniya si Arthur. Arthur seems wild and dangerous to me. A man like Tommy could make my panty lose its garter. I was biting my lips when there’s a sensual scene with Tommy with his w***e.

He snorted. “You like a manwhore, huh?”

“Shhh! He’s so freaking hot!”

Kinuha niya ‘yung remote sa akin at pinatay niya ‘yung TV ko. Tapos napanganga ako nung hinagis niya ang remote. My mouth was widened when I heard my remote crushed against the wall. Did he just break the remote?

“Cadence! What did you do!” I hissed. Bakit ba kasi siya naiinis kapag kinikilig ako kay Tommy Shelby? “We are just watching Peaky Blinders!”

He rolled his eyes. “You look like a f*****g cat kepts purring with that man.”

“You’re crazy!”

“Yes! I f*****g am crazy to you! If you are a good kitten, just lay there!”

Natutop ko ‘yung labi ko sa narinig ko mula sa kaniya. Like an obedient kitten, I slowly nodded at him. He showed me a snobbish smirk and patted my head like a real scared kitten from him. Kainis! Baka kasi kung ano pa ang sirain niya e.

Another week came like a roller coaster, when I was walking on the alley to buy some groceries. Hindi kasi ako masasamahan ni Cadence dahil may business meeting daw siya sa isang five star restaurant. Wala naman siya sinabi kung saan. Hawak hawak ko ‘yung dalawang paper bags na malaki. I’m running out toiletries and groceries for my refrigerator.

Until a man bumped my shoulder and I accidentally dropped my paper bags. Napanguso ako at yumuko para kunin ‘yung nahulog na pinamili ko. May dalawang pares na boots sa harapan ko at sabay kami nito napahawak sa toilet tissue.

Umangat ang tingin ko at napatingin ako sa isang lalaki na nakasuot ng purong itim. There’s a scar from his face. He smiled at me devilishly. I felt some shiver down to my spine.

“Hi, sorry about that. Let me help you,” he offered. 

I shook my head. “No, thank you. It’s fine.”

“Are you sure, Kyla?”

My eyes widened when he mentioned my name. Napalunok ako na mas lalo lumaki ‘yung ngisi sa labi niya. Hanggang sa nakita ko ‘yung baril sa jacket niya. Pakiramdam ko ay namutla ako sa nakita ko. Dahil nagpanick agad ako ay mabilis ako tumakbo.

Iniwanan ko na ‘yung pinamili ko. I was scared to death, I am running for my life right now. Lumingon ako at nakita ko na tumatakbo rin siya at hinahabol niya ako. Sobrang bilis niya tumakbo hanggang sa may napadpad kami sa isang nakakatakot na eskinita.

“f**k!” I hissed.

Namataan ko ‘yung lalaki na lumiko hanggang sa tumatakbo rin siya palapit sa akin. Mabilis ako umakyat sa bakal para papunta sa kabilang eskinita. I want to cry for help but there’s no one. Nang makarating na ako sa tuktok ay medyo nanginginig pa ang binti ko kasi medyo mataas.

Narinig ko na pinutok  niya ‘yung baril. Napatili ako at tumalon na. I groaned when I felt that the side of my foot landed on the ground. Pakiramdam ko ay napilayan pa ako. Mas lalo ako namutla mula sa kabilang bakal ay nakatutok na ‘yung baril sa akin.

Hanggang sa narinig ko na naman ang malakas na putok sa gawi ko. Napasigaw ako at may isang kamay na humablot sa braso ko. Napalunok ako na si Cadence ‘yun at may hawak siyang baril. He was wearing corporate attire with a gun in his hand. 

Napatingin ako doon sa lalaki na nakahiga na sa sahig. Nalulunod na ito sa kaniyang dugo kasi mukhang binaril siya ni Cadence sa noo. Napahagulgol ako at niyakap si Cadence dahil sa aking nakita. Bakit ako hinahabol ng lalaki na ‘yun? Ano kailangan niya sa akin?

“Hush down. I’m already here for you, Kyla,” he muttered. 

“H-He’s going to kill me!” 

Hinimas niya likod ko at pinapatahan niya ako. Hindi ako nakapagsalita. Akmang maglalakad na sana kaming dalawa ni Cadence ay napahiyaw ako sa sakit ng paa ko. I can’t walk properly. I think I have sprained. 

“O-Ouch… may pilay ako.”

“Let me carry you, my princess.”

He carry me like a bridal style at sinakay niya ako sa kaniyang sasakiyan. I feel like I’m traumatized by what I saw. I cannot believe that Cadence has a gun! And he shot the man who tried to kill me! 

Nang makarating kami sa kaniyang pad, kasi doon niya ako gusto dalhin muna. Maingat niya ako inupo sa kama. Napanguso ako dahil ang sakit ng pilay ko. Nagulat na kasi ako at natataranta dahil pumutok ng baril ‘yung lalaki.

Pero kinababahala ko ay kung makukulong ba si Cadence sa kaniyang ginawa? He freaking killed a man in front of me! He shot him on his forehead which caused him a sudden death. May dalang first aid kit si Cadence kasi nanggaling siya sa kaniyang bathroom. Lumuhod siya sa harap ko at napahiyaw ako nung ginalaw niya paa ko.

“I’m sorry, brat,” he whispered. Bumuga siya ng malalim na hininga. “I should be with your side. The outside world is full of criminals and bad people that are not for you.”

“W-Why do you have a gun?” I probed. Umiwas siya ng tingin sa akin at ginagamot niya lang paa ko with a cold cloth on his hand. “Cadence, answer me.”

“For protection,” he stated. “Don’t mind me, I need to take care of your feet.”

“Y-You… killed…” I cannot finish the whole statement. He looked at me sternly. Pakiramdam ko ay umuurong dila ko sa gusto ko sana sabihin sa kaniya.

“I killed someone? I will kill anyone who dares to hurt the woman I care about.”