story of my life,,,,,,everything happens for a reason in life ,make the best out of it thats all that metters right

my mother awlays says ill not make it in life since iam ugly and stupid,its was around 7hoo am.and i layed back in our bedroom i shared with my 4 siblings ,and as the raindrops fall on the roof i could hear clearly the shout of mom from the kitchen, get ready for school i ran to her and sayed but mom dont forget what the principal sayed you have to take me to school since i was involve in disturbing the class,she stared at me and say iam so bisy cannot make it i have to go to your brothers school since they make him sweep the school ,they deal with me today i stood there in my uniform crying,she left and everyone else did.i weng back to bed and a knocked on the door wake me up it was my friend florence from the school she sayed i didnt tell my mother what the principal sayed ,we sitted in guiet for a while she took out a phne and called sameone ,i went to the room to get dress when i cume back she sayed lets go to a friend's house we can go enjoy then sitted at your spooky house,she used to say my house has eyes and ears,i lock up and we went before the street didnt end a car drove slowly next to us she went to the drivers side and cume and say lets go ,we jump in the car ,as the car was driving off the street i saw mom coming near the house i hide in the back sit and we drove off to my suprise the man driving the car is an adult at our church, i sayed hi sir in a soft voice he looked at me fron the front mirror and smiled this man was so handsame and tall,we cume to a bar he went off and left us in the car i immediately told florence it was a bad idea since we not at school people will tell our mother, she shouted and sayed its hes bar and we going to the vip side noone nows us there and will not see us ok,i noted my head and there cumes the security i sayed dont open the door he cume to florence side and sayed cume inside the man is waiting you,i sayed you alone she sayed no cume with ,as we entred the vip lounch blou lights everwhere,beautiful place ,there where few people the man was sitted at the bar and sayed give them what they drink i thought it was juice since we where under age to my suprise my girl florence ordered Savannah cider for both of us really i enjoyed the drink they went upstairs and left me with strangers, there where a group sitted in the corner i went up to them after my 3 cider,they where smoking i joined i started feeling sick run to the toilet and started vomiting, until florence touched my shoulder and say that okd man is good ,telling me how they had s*x and the money she had in her hands i told her i also want samone to treat me like that ,she smile and sayed ill tell him to make a plan for you,we went back drank that night the security guy at the bar drove us as we reached my home ,it was so dark i couldn't see.all the lights where off i went immediately to the window side of our bedroom and knock on the window my younger sister opened me went straight to bed, the next morning i stood up with a horrible headache and nausea. no one was home they didnt wake me up i sitted on the bed thinking what i did and wsy forward,i started cleaning the house and my friend come by florence how you feeling chomi,i sayed very bad she took out money from her backpack and sayed lets take a cap till the bar and have samethnx to eat and drink i was not complaining since i wanted this feeling to stop ,on our arrival the security guy sayed we where not welcome since we under age,we told him we where here with the owner lastnight he sayed he can not remember us and he shut the door in our faces ,we walk from there to another place ,we found a gambling house we where let through, we bought drinks and started off ,we send the security guy same fries and meat and we had a great time,as the day was going by i told my friend want to go home since i have to find she mayed be worried, they drop me off at the gate mom was bisy chatting to my siblings,thinks become daff for me until i was send off to stay with my father but the problem was my step mother she never like me course i talk alot,on my arrival at there home 310km from where i stay, she and dad had a argument, she told dad if you daughter had to stay here ill do samethnx i might regret,so dad called my ungle the nextday i was taken to my fathers birth town,i started school there not long i started with the samething i did back home,drinking,smoking and staying out late,it didnt work out course my ungle was a pastor he told me to leave hes house,i start stsying in the streets,from one home to another. it was very daff for me on the streets i had to make same hard secrifices to leave,i still went to school till my exams was done,and i had to leave i decided to cume to dads town and stay by a friend, while waiting for my results.we went out everyday drinking and partying i was very wild ,didnt give a s**t nobody cared ,no phone call or whats so ever . its a very cold morning, i found dad in town for the firsttime eversince iam here,he pass by me i went and greeted he ask what i want with a irritated voice.told me to stay away thats what i did my exam results cume out i failed,i met this guy we had such a good time ,we would go out very much if iam with him would feel so different safe,i got pregnant if our first born i decided to go back hom to mom,he come with we went and stay at moms she was not happy at all ,the guy decided to tell mom he will merry me and start a family if she allow,i went into labor and got our first born baby girl,,,my night and shine armour went back to there town no call nothing baby turns one year i call he sayed hes not ready for commitment, ok everyday mom told me how useless i was shell go out to drink cumr back and rest her stress on me,i made my bed so who must i complain i decided to make samethnx out of my life but not in this town,i took baby and went back to dads town,i lost weight and look like my old self sexy,that night i told my friends mom to bsbysit for me baby,we went out the same bar we went i found babys daddy dearest i ignor him ,i could see him wanting to talk to me i made him so jealous he started a fight saying its my baby mama,i went back he come to the house i stayed and took baby with, i went after him when we cume there the whole family was sotted outside with baby in hes hand ,him crying i told them ill go to the police i want baby back,the mother jump in my face telling me ill not take the kid from him since i was sleeping with other man and hes the father and so on,i could believe my eyes and ears.they removd me from there premises i stood by the gate couldnt believe baby is not with me how did this happened i ask myself it didnt feel real my mouth was dry wanted water ,i lost her wat will i do who will help me i sitted alone there it was so dark anything can happen to me but i sat,,from far i saw a light from a car it was cuming near and near,till where i was a voice ask can i help you i sayed yes i want my baby they took her shes in the house the guy come of and went inside telling me to cume in,i followed him he took a chair and say sit,then he yelled ,charlton,chalton and there he was with baby in hes hand saying mom shes back i decided i wont go out,the brother say chalton its her kid too shes the mother where you there when the baby was delivered,pls give her the baby he sayed ,i looked at charlton and say can i breastfeed her pls its been a while and baby was crying non stop,i step up to him the mother come out that moment and say whys she still her call yhe police then we settled this there,i had noone on my side hes brother was helping abit but hes mother over powered him,i beg pls let me feed baby ill be sitted,baby was still crying he hand her over to me,i start feeding baby he stood at my head and say if you make my baby sick since you where at the bar,and left the kid with strangers will deal with you,i cryed becourse of this little person feeling safe in my hands while iam feeding her,i looked him with my tears and sayed shes a year now i raise baby alone now you want her,i was alone scared with her all the sleepless night and you are claiming her like a trophy, and madam you helping you son nowing he didnt contribute nothing to babys well being she sayed you denay him the baby how i looked at him and ask how chalton shut up he shouted,,,baby was asleep i told him can i sleep with baby over pls ,she doesnt have any bottle and shell cry when shes awake,my mother got very sick and our last born called to say we have to come home me and baby,babys daddy come along we spend most of the time indoors and get to now each other i was pregnant with baby no two ,after my mothers recovering we went back to dad town he got a job and we moved into a 1 bedroom ,thinks went for a while perfect but that only happens in movies chalton bought a car with me besides he he started drinking heavily and started beating the hell out of me,hell sleep out left us without food and gone for the whole weekend .hes mother told me to go back home since the son is not ready for settle down and she doesnt want him jailed becourse of this ,i decided that night when he come back i need to fixed myself up and do all this for the kids shake up stayed with him and i took all the beatings and arguments i was all sock up for it,as longs as he buys food and cloths for the kids i was fine with it,i got a work at a furniture shop from a neighbor friend i was getting up yhe letter slowly but i promised not to fail,i work hard ,chalton will come at work drank and go on with my boss ,hell swear at me but i need the money to pay hes mother for yhe baby sitting job,i tryed samedays will be worst then yhe others but i made the best out of it,i was promoted after 6 month as a chief debtors clerk ,and salaries was beter,i told chalton we can affort a flat and buy furniture for us,we did thinks started to look ok,he bump hes car and all the friends stop comming and we would stay together with the kids at home i got so use to him and hes manners i will not want anybody else,he proposed and i sayed yes in tears ,i dont now but it felt right then.got merried with baby no 3 coming. he promised to grow up hes mother decided not to get involved anymore he was cut off only me working,baby i got a job i need to travel i was happy our life is starting to come togther,he cheats again and i forgive him lets go pass this togther ,he was starting to make thinks right i stood by him course i had to the kids need him ,he stop drinking and foucas on us he was involved in the pregnancy full time,he left the work and come back to work by us it was going well for us,i started to drink again but he was understanding baby no 3 arrived he was so happy we went through this child birth togther ,the family was against all this they though thinks will end on the way,early morning knocked at the door hes mother iam looking for my son ,goodmorning mom hes in the shower cume in pls,no thank you ill wait outside ,baby your mother is looking for you,shes outside ,i made tea she doesnt want ,my husband come back with a young lady with a bag behind her,shes the nanny for the kids since you working hard my mothers sayed so ,she was taken to the second room in the house,that night i felt so scared for my kids whos this woman i dont even now ,i sayed nothing course i didnt want to mess thinks its been going well one wrong word mayed course alot for me,i called in sick the next morning to check up on this young sexy ,beautiful girl she wakeup early snd fixed baby bottle and kids breskfast hmmm,nace husband is in the kitchen showing her around i come out and hugg him saying i got this go well to work dia he was a contractor own hes tender ,i started with cleaning our room ,and the kids were with her,she sitted half of the day on the wifi and headsets on ok,i checked and before 5 i started preparing dinner she went and bath,and hook herself on the tv ,hubby come home how was the day i sayed bisy,after dinner i adk him how he felt about this girl we disagreed about it,she had us and report us to the mother she called and told me its her sons flat and money,iam always tired if i cone from work this days,headche i would rather take early nights ,husband started watch hes series again on Netflix so he has late nights,my mother inlaw is here mommy granmom is here i come out everyone is sitted in the lounch good evening ma,she turn and sayed why are you not buying any toiletry for this poor girl ,should she ask you,but you have all the expensive smells,and you beter get contraceptive you already cornered my boy into merriage i sayed chalton,he looked away ma i sayed i dont have elders to represent me but this is my flat iam paying for nextime if you come and disrespect me your not welcome pls,i left to the room,i was suddenly nauseous,its all my mothers its her fault ,i had the car driving out from the driveway,chantelle come and told me to check on baby boy,dad is gone with granmom,and unty .i come out and watch tv with the kids,i was tired and nap on the couch my husband wake me up to come to bed ,he was angry almost shaking in the same tone he sayed that girl need to go,i ask why he looked at me shouting dont guestion me ,you do as i ask do you understand i sayed no why i want to now,i walk straight to the girl where she was sitted i ask why is your so called uncle angry ,she response its not my ungle its my traditional husband didnt ma tell you my parents sent me to him if he doesnt take a second wife he needs to pay lobola,i sat down to take a breath my heart was bitting fast ,i couldnt breath easyly,i call chalton cume here take your girlfriend out of my flat now,he sayed with ease baby that b...h aint my girlfriend, throw her out yourself iam going to bed, i told her to pack first think in the morning your gone ,homewrecker i went to the room and sit on the bed side he hold my hand and say i love you,, i dont want to lose you my mother is the one doing all this,i told her i promise to take care of you and the kids,the girls parents will be here tommrw from the farm then ,we can talk go to sleep (my mothers voice was saying in my head u fail again i told you)i lay in hes arms,my head on hes chest how i like the feeling,i prayed Lord pls let me not lose my husband,i wakeup fine he brought me a cup of coffie saying today i want you to talk as my wife on my side dont luistern to anybody and i wont allow them to disrespect you,i was ready after all those words i took out my best dress after work ill cume dress myself ,i was looking forward to this meeting he sayed hes staying with the kids ,i drove myself to work the girl was in the car with me,i drop her off infront of mother inlaws gate,and went straight to work, the day pass by guicker then i thought, 5h00 knock off time took my bakpack and walk out drove myself home dress up and i found everyone on time sitted,i made sure i had high heels as i walk in that meeting. sitted next to hubby,the girls father was leading the meeting, my husband was fined a 3900fee or 4 white goats since he doesnt want to merry his daughter, we agreed love is like a sick pill ,you cannot leave without it its like you try to vomit it out but the taste still remain in mouth,thinks become to look promising iam pregnant with baby no 5 the excitment from the kids was very overwhelming, they make cards and always sing to the belly,but the the baby daddy,my husband was not happy at all,very angry and moody eveyday i was scared to death for this pregnancy but i had to make sacrifices for the kids sake and plus 5 kids new relationships is out of story,i need to make this work.this man was a loving caring person i just need to be pasion with him and give him space not to force the baby story on him,let him get use to the idea, we going to the doctor, 10.30 ,letting hubby now if hell made it,the phne is off i left massage on the voice mail i walk so far in my thought i didnt even fell the rain drops until a car come next to me ,madam you are shocking wet can i give you a left ,i looked at him with tears in my eyes and kept walking until the taxi rank.