Broken Faith

Episode 1 - The Beginning

****************20 years back*************************

“And the Best Singer of the year goes to……” The principal didn’t have to say my name because everyone started chanting “Sonali, Sonali, Sonali” And I was getting embarrassed.

What if I didn’t win? I placed my hand on my forehead and started smiling. Everyone in my school was so confident. I looked at Principal Sir and he was looking at me with a broad smile. I smiled back and stood up, even before he said my name. Somehow, I knew it but I was waiting for a signal from Sir.

He still didn’t say my name and started looking at the crowd in front of him. “Here she comes.” And once again the cheers filled the assembly hall, more like the stadium of our school.

“Yes, you were right. Sonali.” And he handed me the trophy, not before announcing again. “And what’s the Best Singer award without a song?”

I smiled and took the mic. I knew it. Nobody leaves a chance to listen to a song from me.

“Thanks, everyone. Thank you for supporting me. Now, which song do you want to hear?” And I realized what stupid question to ask?

I started getting requests but one song was common for most of them. My favorite, Lag Ja Gale. (Hug me tight, for we might not have this night again. We might not get a chance to meet again in this life.) This was the song that helped me earn this award. So, I took a breath and started singing.

“Sonali, you were awesome.” I turned back to see Vaibhav looking at me.

“Thanks.” I smiled and started to walk. Today was our annual function and I was walking along the road. My parents came to the function with my sister Priya and brother Ashu. But they left early and since I was a participant, I had to stay until the function was over.

I am in 9th grade and Vaibhav sits next to me. He is a rank holder, meaning he always holds 1st, 2nd, or 3rd rank in annual exams, but I never understand why. Don’t get me wrong, he is intelligent, especially in maths and science. But you should see his Hindi copy. The words are always wrong. He always looks in my copy to see if he has written the word correctly or not. And most of the time, he is wrong.

I always ask him how he writes in his exam, and he tells me I remember the words you write. Ha ha

I looked back and Vaibhav was still following me.

“Why didn’t you leave early? You didn’t participate.” I asked him when he caught up to me.

“Nah, I was waiting for you. I wanted to see you, I mean the trophy, and the certificate up close. Can I see it?” I chuckled. He is funny.

“Yeah.” I gave him my certificate and he started reading it, and I felt a sensation of pride with every word he said. He gave me my certificate when we reached the school parking space.

“ OK, see you on Monday. I will be leaving on the public bus.” I always take a bus to come to school. I have a 2-wheeler, but I enjoy my time on the bus. It helps me with relaxing when I reach home since I am not the one driving. I am lazy.

“Let me drop you at the bus stop, it’s almost half a mile away.”

“Thanks, but I don’t sit with strangers.” I took my tongue out and laughed. But the truth is, I don’t like the idea of sitting on someone’s bike and then holding them. I never did, and I don’t plan to. I can sit behind my dad, brother or cousins. Not anyone else.

“Hey, I am not a stranger. We are friends. But I know you might get uncomfortable. It’s ok. I can walk with you till the bus stop and then you can take the bus and I will go on my motorbike. Is that OK?”

“You are the one to drag a motorbike. I am OK if you are. I will get someone to talk to.”

We started walking and talked about a lot of things, mostly the performances at the function.

“Did you see Daksha?” he asked me out of nowhere.

“Yes, I saw her. Why?”

“Nothing, it’s just her eyes. She looked very pretty in the play. Her eyes are the best feature of her face. She has almond-shaped eyes. Her features are so sharp.”

I looked at him and raised my eyebrows. “Oh my god, you like her. Don’t you?”. I smiled. “Do you want me to talk to her?”

“What, nooo. No, I don’t like her. I was just praising her eyes.”

I noticed his smile disappear and he started staring at the road. I don’t understand him at all. Sometimes he is all bubbly and talkative and the next moment he goes all serious.

“ OK, I will not tell her. Happy?” I laughed and he smiled.

He walked with me to the bus stop and waited till I was on the bus. Once I was in, I watched him stand there and relaxed in my seat.

*****************************

The next 2 years went in a buzz. 10th is an important exam in India. I passed with distinction and my parents were super happy. After the 10th, I had to select subjects for the 11th and 12th. I was confused. I wanted to be an engineer but my voice was God's gift.

My mom is a housemaker and she did her Masters in vocal music. Her voice was angelic and she too used to come first in her college. But she couldn’t pursue her dream. I used to see her and think, do I want to be a housemaker and do nothing? Housemaker is a thankless job. Nobody thinks you are something until you get a job. And I always wanted to do something to make my parents proud.

I am proud of my mother, but I always felt that she could have achieved something if circumstances were different. Singing was not a great career option in the 1980s. She couldn’t and it made me believe that I might also end up wasting my god's gift. So, it's better to do something else.

“Do you really want to take Science Maths?” My dad asked me.

“Yes, dad. I want to be an engineer. I want to make you proud.”

“Sonali, you can do anything you want, don’t think about me or your mom. We are already proud of you. The way you take care of everything, you already help me a lot by handling everything at your sibling’s school. You have a great voice. Why don’t you think of music as a career option?”

“Dad, I have seen mom. She is the best singer I have ever heard of, but could she do anything? All her talent was wasted. I have decided I want to be an engineer.”

“ OK, as you wish. You know I am always with you.”

I took Science, Maths, and computers as optional subjects and started preparing for competitive exams which usually help you in getting a good college for engineering. I was set on getting a scholarship.

My interaction with Vaibhav increased as we both had Science Maths. We used to study together at school and even had extra classes together. After the 12th, I got admission to a college that was 9 hours' drive from my home and he was selected to a college across the country. He was very upset.

“How am I going to meet you?”

“We will meet during summer breaks,” I told him as I saw his mom packing his bag. He was leaving today and I was visiting him with Priya. She is 1.5 years younger than me.

“And the rest of the time?”

“It’s ok. We have landline phones. We will talk once in a while. You can call me and I heard that there is a feature on Yahoo. I am planning to open a mail account. You can open it too and we will chat. How about that?”

He smiled a little but his expression didn’t change. I laughed hard seeing him pouting and he went inside his room shouting.

“You can laugh all you want, but when I am not there, you will miss me.”

“Yeah, sure. I will miss you. After all, I am going to a girl’s college.”