Broken Faith

E7 - The Lawyer

My final exams were going on and everyone was deciding about my wedding date. There was almost a month left and Rudra asked me to come to Bangalore to meet him. He got very angry when I told him I can’t.

“Please, come to meet me. I can’t come there, otherwise, I would have.”

“I know, but my exams are almost there and Bangalore is too far. I don’t know if my parents would allow me to come there.”

“Sonali, I am dying to see you, you do realize I haven’t met you since the day you said you loved me.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Then you also know how hard it is for me. I want to hold you in my arms, kiss you, feel your body. I want to get lost while kissing you, on your lips, your cheeks, your neck. Can you imagine me? Sucking your neck, and giving a mark to you?”

I cleared my throat. “Rudra, you are getting very bold.”

“What if I am? I want to tear your dress and hold you, kiss your body. Imagine me kissing your navel area and now tell me you don’t feel a thing.”

“Rudra….” I whispered.

“See… You also want me. Please come here, Sonali. I will love you so damn much.”

“No, Rudra, even if I come, we will not cross our limits. I want our first time to be special. Please.”

“Ok, I will not do anything. I will just kiss you. Ok, let’s do one thing. You come to Mumbai and I will come there.”

“Ok. I can do that. My uncle lives there. I will make a plan and meet you soon.”

I quickly called my mother and told her that Rudra wanted to meet me. I never lied to her.

“Sonali, you are putting me in a tight spot. I will talk to your dad. If he agrees, you can go.”

“Thanks maa. Thank you, thank you. I love you.”

She laughed. “Save your I love yous for Rudra.”

I disconnected the call. Mummy is also teasing me now. Huh

I had to try a lot, but my mother was finally able to get the approval. On the way to Mumbai, I could feel my insides crunching like I was on a roller coaster.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder and I woke up from the trance. It was my brother-in-law.

“Sonali, we are here.” He looked at me and I turned my face to the other side and nodded quietly.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Do I have a choice?” I looked at him this time. He looked at the ground and shook his head.

“I just hope you get what you want. I know it is tough for you, but trust me, if what I heard from your sister is true, then he never loved you. It's better this way.”

“How do you know he never loved me? You weren’t there. No one was there, but I was. I lived those moments with him.”

“And that’s why you can’t see clearly. No man can raise his hand to someone he claims to love.”

I couldn’t say anything because what he said was true. He sighed and sat beside me in the car.

“It feels as if I lived a lie for 15 years. Like 15 years of my life were a waste.”

“No, they weren't. You got Maggie out of it, the only thing that I can appreciate out of this marriage.”

I laughed bitterly. “He thinks I didn’t get Maggie from him.”

“He is a bastard for thinking Maggie isn’t his daughter. Anyone can see it clear as a day and if he thinks she is not his, then I think it's better. You should know she is happy here.”

“I know, but I wanted her to be happy with both of us. I wanted to be happy with him.” I tried to hide my tears but they were betraying me.

“Leave it, let's go and meet the lawyer, and I should warn you, you will have to tell him everything. Don’t miss a single detail, please. You haven’t shared it with us, but you will have to tell him what the truth is.”

“Truth? Do you think I am lying?” I almost shouted at him. Does he think I am lying?

“No, I trust you completely, regarding the adultery accusations Rudra made against you. But I know you were lying when you told us he didn’t hit you much. I know you were lying when you said he used to keep you happy, or that he cared for you. I know you haven’t told us everything.”

I nodded and we got out of the car. I saw my dad talking to someone over the phone. I could sense he was angry.

“And why should I send my daughter there? Your son sent her as a prostitute and now you are asking me to send her to you. Why? So that you can actually make her what he thinks she is, and destroy her dignity? To hell with all of you. Don’t you dare call me again?”

He disconnected the call and I knew whom he was talking to. It was my father-in-law.

He asked me to go with him so that he could sort out things between me and Rudra. But that’s not possible, not anymore.

We parked the car and I started walking behind my dad and Yash, my brother-in-law, but he is the elder, so I don’t call him by name. I call him Jijs. We entered a building and I was told to wait, while dad and Jijs went to meet the lawyer. After a few minutes, they came back with someone.

“Hi, I am Rohit, your newly appointed lawyer. Come on, let’s talk in my office.”

I shook hands with him and we went to his office. The moment we entered, he asked my dad and Jijs to leave.

“I want to talk to her alone, I need to understand the case. Can you please wait outside?”

I was nervous because I was never alone with a man before. Rudra used to question me so much that I made sure of it. My confidence was at its lowest and I was unable to form sentences.

“Sonali, right?” I nodded.

“Ok, so Sonali. First things first. I don’t bite.”

I looked at him and he chuckled.

“I noticed the way you shook hands with me. You were so contained within yourself as if the government was going to ask for taxes if your hand was to touch mine. Why is it so?”

I didn’t say anything. Why did he notice this? Is he interested? Why? Did he think I am a divorcee and… My thoughts were stopped in the middle when he asked me to sit.

“I can see in your file, that you worked for 10 years for a multi-national company. But see yourself now. Can you do me a favor and look at yourself in that mirror? He pointed to a window and I went there. I could see myself.

My shoulders were slumped, my posture was conscious, like a thief, my eyes were trying to avoid eye contact.

“Even before you say a word, I can say, your husband used to doubt you and that’s why you don’t like to talk to anyone, especially men. Am I right?”

I looked at him and blinked.

“I am a lawyer. I have seen enough cases to understand what causes all this. Now, someone can say she is not meeting eyes because she did wrong. But then the truth might be, that maybe she is scared that she will upset someone. Maybe her husband asks her why was she looking at that man, and that’s why she likes to avoid them. In your case, I am 100% sure, it’s the latter.”

“And why do you think, it's not the first one with me?”

“Because I can see your eyes are red, but no one is consoling you. That means you cry when you are alone. You didn’t want anyone’s attention. You didn’t want anyone to see you weak, or get worried that you were upset. Normally, and it's not a general rule, the opposite is true. If someone is guilty, then they make sure they cry in front of someone, to gain sympathy. What would a guilty person achieve by crying alone?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Let’s leave it, shall we? Have a seat.”

“Yes sir.”

“Please, call me Rohit and if you at least look at me, you will notice I am not that old. I bet you haven’t noticed I am bald.”

I looked at him, but he had a lot of hair. He laughed.

“No, I am not bald, but I was sure you were not going to raise your eyes, so I had to do something.”

I once again lowered my eyes. I know he was expecting me to smile, but I couldn’t. I can’t smile with so much pain in my heart.

“Okay, no response. It’s ok. Now, let's talk seriously. I want you to say everything. And I mean everything. I am going to record it and you will have to tell me all the details. It’s my job to see if they are important or not. Got it?”

I nodded and he took out a recording device.

I started narrating my story.